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Posts by elodie

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40 Rejected Hogwarts Classes

By ElodieJuly 12, 2018
You’ve heard of Potions, Transfiguration, and Charms. However, I have no doubt that some well-meaning Hogwarts professor tried to suggest a few new courses to Dumbledore and received a stern "No. For God’s sake, Stuart, there’s a three-headed dog on the third floor and a ... More  →
40 Rejected Hogwarts Classes

Sorting the Characters from The Lord of the Flies Into Hogwarts Houses

By ElodieJuly 11, 2018
I bet you have, at one point or another, wondered which Hogwarts houses the Lord of the Flies characters would be Sorted into.  Even if you’ve never wondered this before, well, now you’re wondering it. You may have only the tiniest—we’re talking MINUSCULE—interest in either the characters ... More  →
Sorting the Characters from <i>The Lord of the Flies</i> Into Hogwarts Houses

Literary Protagonists Summed Up in a Single Sentence

By ElodieJuly 11, 2018
As human beings, we all like to think we’re pretty complicated, but the truth is most of us could be summed up in a single sentence. Take me, for example. I’m a twenty-something flesh vessel just doing her best, and that’s really all you need to know. Everyone reading More  →
Literary Protagonists Summed Up in a Single Sentence

7 of the Most Disappointing Endings in Literature

By ElodieJuly 10, 2018
Not every literary ending is a home-run. Sometimes you will be enjoying a book immensely, only to have it all go horribly wrong in the last few pages. Bottom line: there is a right way and a wrong way to end a novel. And instead of applauding the authors who did it right (w More  →
7 of the Most Disappointing Endings in Literature

How to Go on a Date, According to Jay Gatsby

By ElodieJuly 10, 2018
I recently blogged every last single "old sport!"-laden sentence of The Great Gatsby, and if there’s anything I learned from it, it’s how to go on something akin to a date. But don’t take my word for it—let’s turn things over to the expert himself ... More  →
How to Go on a Date, According to Jay Gatsby

7 Movie Adaptations Made by People Who Apparently Didn't Read the Book

By ElodieJuly 9, 2018
Adapting a book into a movie is no picnic. You’ve got to think about 1) the people who haven’t read the book and are just looking to have a fun time, as well as 2) the people who HAVE read the book, and love it, and will wish death upon you and your family’s family if More  →
7 Movie Adaptations Made by People Who Apparently Didn't Read the Book

5 of the Most Easily Preventable Deaths in Literature

By ElodieJuly 6, 2018
There’s a lot of DYING going on in literature nowadays. It seems like every time I open a book, some character I love more than life itself is throwing their stupid, mortal body in harm’s way, which invariably results in me weeping for no less than six hours. Sometimes t More  →
5 of the Most Easily Preventable Deaths in Literature

Hilarious One-Star Reviews of Classic Novels

By ElodieJuly 6, 2018
One-star reviews online are a thing of beauty. Some of them are earnest, most of them make no sense, and all of them are the funniest thing I have ever read, bar none. Sometimes you get “IT’S GREAT, SHIPPING WAS FAST, PRODUCT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, ONE STAR More  →
Hilarious One-Star Reviews of Classic Novels

If the Founding Fathers Had Tinder

By ElodieJuly 4, 2018
Tinder is a place where the youths of today go to find love and/or casual hookups. But have you ever wondered what it would look like if the founders of our country had been using Tinder? Probably not, because you’re a normal person, but I’m not, so I have.  No one ask More  →
If the Founding Fathers Had Tinder

Extremely Upsetting Harry Potter Charts & Graphs

By ElodieJuly 3, 2018
You look like someone who appreciates an extremely upsetting Harry Potter chart. Fortunately for you, I too love nothing more than thinking about sad things and then crying in the shower because I remembered that Fred Weasley died laughing. So, to celebrate the 20th annive More  →
Extremely Upsetting <i>Harry Potter</i> Charts & Graphs
About the Author
Elodie

In real life, she goes by the name Courtney Gorter. This is a closely guarded secret, and you're the only one who knows about it, so be cool. You can follow her on Twitter or check out her website if you want, but it's just going to be a lot of complaining.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.