Happy Friday, Sparklers!
Or…maybe not, because the theme of the week is awkward.
Feeling awkward about acknowledging your awkwardness? That’s OK, I’ll go first:
Me: I think we should do a joke about Sparklers and the 4th of July.
Editor: Huh?
Me: Because, you know, “sparklers”?!?! Like…um…Sparklers play with sparklers? Or Sparklers, don’t burn yourselves with…yourselves.
Editor: Um…
SILENCE.
Me: This is…awkward. Read more…
You’ve just settled in and the lights have dimmed. You’ve got your Sour Patch Kids, a giant soda—and an empty wallet. But that’s okay, cause going to the movies is an experience, and you can’t put a price on that.
But then, just as you begin to slip into your cinema-trance, a bluish light catches your eye a few seats away and you remember that no, you’re not in “Year One,” you’re in 2009 and someone is being really rude. Aghhh!
Cell phones in the movie theater, it drives us nuts! Read more…
There was so much love shown for The Princess Bride in the comments on our SAS post about daisy chains last week, it got us thinking about our favorite ’80s movies—the best thing to come out of that decade other than legwarmers. (Thank you, John Hughes and Tom Cruise.)
You know them, you love them, you quote them to impress members of the opposite sex. In fact, we believe any one of these films could singlehandedly unite the world into one utopian, “We Are the World”-singing land of peace and prosperity. If we could only get Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il, and Obama in a room together and roll Goonies…
If you don’t have them already, you absolutely must add the following movies to your library (you’ll thank us in college when your dorm room doesn’t get cable):
I know, I know: Puppy overload! Too much cute to write about, right? That’s why we’re just asking for captions for the passive pup, the removed onlooker. What is s/he thinking? Leave your hilarious/adorable/ridiculous caption in the comments.
Thanks to Sparkler cemmers for the great pic of your lab’s first litter!
Look at this week’s featured captions after the jump!
This time of year is all about cookouts. But what if you’re not being invited to as many of them as you’d like? Well, SparkNotes can tell you the secret of getting invited to every barbecue in town. It’s really simple: Become the one thing no cookout can go without (no, not fire).
We’re talking about how you can become the invaluable GrillMaster!
Here’s what you’ll need:
According to our parents, our generation is lazy and entitled, whereas their generation grew up with a healthy respect for authority and a Brady Bunch-like tendency to smile 24/7. Oh, and our minds are slowly being ruined by the internet, “Family Guy,” and iPods.
Was their world really a better place? Were they more respectful, and was society somehow better back in the day? We can’t say with certainty, but taking into account historical evidence and common sense, we’re guessing the answer is NO. As proof, let’s examine the following common parental claims:
Here at Sparklife, we’re certainly no strangers to vampires, whether they’re gracing the pages of novels, starring in upcoming movies, or getting run down by New York taxis.
For those of you who can’t get enough of the fictional fanged creatures, we’d like to suggest a selection of undead literature and films beyond Stephenie Meyer’s lucrative franchise, starting with a list of other vampire movies you might want to check out between now and Labor Day.
Hello again, my answer-seeking amigos. Family-related questions have been streaming in recently, and this week, brothers are the hot topic. Being a brother myself, I feel compelled to share a brother’s perspective. Maybe next time we can delve into the mysteries of sisters. In the meantime, have a fabulous Fourth of July!
So, I read a post about a girl who had an abusive bf and dad, and it reminded me of one of my friends. Her older brother used to hurt her—a lot. Like one day he’d throw her down the stairs, and another day he’d get mad and punch her. She used to come to school with bruises all the time, and was constantly telling me that her lifelong dream was to see her brother in jail. The thing is, I didn’t really understand what was happening at the time, and once I realized what he was doing was abusive, my friend told me he had already stopped. Then a year later, she wouldn’t eat, and didn’t say why. My friends and I went on strike and refused to eat our lunches unless she ate hers, and then we’d follow her if she went to the bathroom alone. Once she lost too much weight and got sick, she admitted to me that her brother was always calling her a fat @$$, but that he had stopped. She’s also given a few hints before that make me think he might have even raped her when she was in elementary school, but she hasn’t said much about it, because she really loves her brother. My question is this—what do you do if a friend has had an abusive past? I mean, can you still get the abuser in legal trouble, or is all that history at some point? And what if your friend won’t say it straightforwardly, like, “Yeah, he’s hurt me before,” or, “He slapped me yesterday, but I’m all good now.” I’m really scared that if he starts again, she won’t tell me. How can I be a good friend?
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