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Auntie SparkNotes: Should I Tell Him I Love Him If Our Future Is Uncertain?

By kat_rosenfieldApril 1, 2015
Dear Auntie, I am a senior in college and have been in a great relationship with a guy for about four months now. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. I want to take the next step and tell him that I... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Should I Tell Him I Love Him If Our Future Is Uncertain?
THEY'RE BACK & BETTER-ISH THAN EVER: The Triumphant Return of ALL-CAPS RECAPS

THEY'RE BACK & BETTER-ISH THAN EVER: The Triumphant Return of ALL-CAPS RECAPS

By Chelsea DaggerApril 1, 2015
BUTTSKIS, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. I've let my side-career as an amateur fro-yo taste-tester (my findings thus far=ANY FLAVOR IS GOOD IF YOU ADD $9 WORTH OF COOKIE DOUGH) distract me from what's most important in life: CELEBRITIES, OUTFITS, AND ALL-CAPS. Because I've been spen More  →

Virginia Woolf's Tips for Writing a New York Times Bestseller

By Katherine MollyApril 1, 2015
I am Virginia Woolf, author of some of the greatest books of all time, and while I truly need no introduction, I shall grace you with one anyway. I am the beloved writer of several timeless masterpieces, including British People Hang Out In A... More  →
Virginia Woolf's Tips for Writing a New York Times Bestseller

A Tale of Two Family Reunions

By Charles DickensApril 1, 2015
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of family arguments, it was the age of bad family photos, it was the epoch of bar-be-que, it was the epoch of frisbee with the cousins; it was the... More  →
A Tale of Two Family Reunions
The 2015 Yearbook Awards Are Here-GO FORTH AND CONQUER THEM!

The 2015 Yearbook Awards Are Here-GO FORTH AND CONQUER THEM!

By Chelsea DaggerApril 1, 2015
BUTTSKIS, today is the start of my absolute most favorite time of year: THE SPARKNOTES YEARBOOK AWARDS. (My second most favorite time of year is when the grocery store gives away free samples of doughnuts and I dump the entire tray... More  →
<em>Doctor Who</em> Season 9 Shocker: The Doctor to Regenerate Into a Vampire

Doctor Who Season 9 Shocker: The Doctor to Regenerate Into a Vampire

By Ryan BrittApril 1, 2015
Hot on the heels of the news that Game of Thrones star Maisie Williams will be boarding the TARDIS in season 9 of Doctor Who, another new tidbit from season 9 has just emerged that will change everything. This comes straight from showrunner... More  →

Dear Bosom Friends and Kindred Spirits: Avoid These 7 Hair Mistakes!

By Lucy Maud MontgomeryApril 1, 2015
To my dearest kindred spirits, bosom friends and aficionados of raspberry cordial: I know that all of us want to have long, beautiful tresses that stream from our alabaster brows. But as Tennyson described, there are consequences when you err in hair care: The mirror crack'd from... More  →
Dear Bosom Friends and Kindred Spirits: Avoid These 7 Hair Mistakes!

AUNTIE STEINBECK: Should I Get a Friendship Tattoo?

By reidfaylorApril 1, 2015

Dear John Steinbeck,

I’m in a serious pickle, and I ain’t talkin’ cucumbers. My bff Becca wants me to get a friendship tattoo. I actually kinda like the design, it’s small, but it’s on the wrist which makes me worried because I

... More  →
AUNTIE STEINBECK: Should I Get a Friendship Tattoo?

The Hunger Games Theme Park Is Becoming a Real Thing: Thank Your Fearless Leader, President Snow

By The CapitolApril 1, 2015
Today, the Capitol is pleased to announce the impending construction of a Hunger Games theme park in Dubai, UAE. There, Panem citizens will be able to celebrate the true spirit of the games: consumerism. Families will pay a steep price of admission,... More  →
The Hunger Games Theme Park Is Becoming a Real Thing: Thank Your Fearless Leader, President Snow

"10 Reasons I'm an Optimist" by Me, Franz

By Franz KafkaApril 1, 2015
Whether they've just read one of my scathing short stories about social alienation or a brutally honest letter to my cruel, piggish father, people always ask me the same thing about my writing: "Franz, how can you be so gosh-darn CHEERY all the time???" Simply put,... More  →
"10 Reasons I'm an Optimist" by Me, Franz