Being rejected by a university feels a lot like being dumped, except your ex is the size of a small village, smells like Panda Express, and asked you to pick up a $30,000 tab on the first date. He’s a rude dude. But the hurt ... More →
If you’ve never seen a sloth hugging a manatee, you, friend, have not read Cuddles and Rage.
C&R is a webcomic for people who want to see the “twee” put back in, “Say! There seems to be a hatchet buried between that adorable peanut’s eyes!” Husband-and-wife duo More →
Gather 'round for story time, Sparklers. In second grade, my favorite Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger was Kimberly, the pink ranger. I liked her because she was the only one who seemed to have a personality when everyone’s faces were obscured by identical masks, plus she used ... More →
The most important rule in writing is, “write something that you’d want to read.”
The second most important rule of writing is, “throw your phone into an erupting volcano and WRITE.”
Every great writer from James Joyce to E.L. James followed these simple storytelling commandments before they ... More →
Hogwarts has no shortage of ornate, cabbage-sized door knockers, but you hardly ever see anyone using them. Perhaps the simple gesture of knocking went out of fashion when kooky ghost portraits replaced the castle's security system, or when the lock-breaking charm became core curriculum (and they wonder ... More →
Attention Sparklers: The computer you are using right now might be at SERIOUS RISK. If you are reading this post this via smart phone, tablet, or impressive shadow-puppet theatre, those devices too may be in IMMINENT DANGER.
Because viruses. ... More →
It may be all this Internet I've been drinking, but 2013 already seems like kind of a Kelvin-filtered blur, doesn't it? I can barely remember why I started a flame war with Drake eleven minutes ago, let alone why he sent me this restraining order eleven ... More →
To put it in one word: Presents.
To put it in two words: Presents—dingleberry!
Consider this month a deserved reward for enduring the overrated miracle of human existence one more year. That's why December is stocking-stuffed with holidays! Did you know, if you celebrate the three weeks ... More →
It may seem like a silly Twitter fad, but Thanksgiving names have been part of American culture since 1794, when president George Washington famously adopted the name Gourdge Squashington for two incredible weeks. That’s when America used to be somebody.
Today it’s on More →
Brandon is a writer and humor editor at Reader's Digest magazine. He was born in Tucson, Arizona, and wants to write a paranormal Western that begins, "First the cows turned up dead." What should the rest be about? Tell him on twitter @beardspeck.