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Posts by andrew joanis

The 13 Most Useful Harry Potter Spells for the Muggle World

By andrew joanisAugust 25, 2015
Using their brand new formula, the Harry Potter mathematicians at SparkLife HQ (yes, we have those) recently calculated that there is an 800% chance that 239% of the earth's population wishes they were functioning members of wizarding society. Click through for the spells a More  →
The 13 Most Useful <i>Harry Potter</i> Spells for the Muggle World

Our Own Better Book Titles

By andrew joanisAugust 4, 2015
Wouldn't life be simpler if we could all just judge books by their covers?* Dan Wilbur says duh, and therefore so do we. *Literally. The only metaphorical cover-judging we endorse is that carried out by Regina George, because without it Mean Girls would be lacking in a m More  →
Our Own Better Book Titles

7 Signs You're Dating an Actual Ghost

By andrew joanisJuly 21, 2015
Here in the year 2015, technology has provided us with more ways than ever to get dumped! There's the passive-aggressive Instagram post, the sheepish text message, the "It's not you, it's meme," the strategic Unfollow, and that bananas-driving-est method of all: ghosting. G More  →
7 Signs You're Dating an Actual Ghost

Fictional Character Product Endorsements

By andrew joanisJuly 16, 2015
After their book contracts expire, literary characters have to make bank somehow... More  →
Fictional Character Product Endorsements

Your Age According to Your Pajamas

By andrew joanisJune 24, 2015
The age-old idioms "you are what you eat," "you are how you spell the word colo(u)r," and "you are what your mom fed your cat for breakfast" are said to date back to eighteenth-century France. Newsflash, guys: you've been lied to. FOR 236 YEARS. This slideshow is here to dis More  →
Your Age According to Your Pajamas

The DOs and DON'Ts of Talking to Your Crush

By andrew joanisMay 27, 2015
If you are a human who does human things (like consume electrolytes and get nervous around crushes), then you have come to the right place (if you are a lizard looking for the Miniature Sombrero Convention, it's two doors down on the left). Yes, the mere thought of approa More  →
The DOs and DON'Ts of Talking to Your Crush

Why It's Totally Cool to Still Have a Twin Bed When You're 20

By andrew joanisMay 22, 2015
If you are the nighttime resident of a twin bed, you are well aware of its downsides (leg cramps when the cat stretches out on your legs, no room for practicing snow angels, etc). Popular culture and social norms have led you to believe that this twin bed will magically More  →
Why It's Totally Cool to Still Have a Twin Bed When You're 20

The Perfectly Ridiculous Mother's Day Cards of Famous Literary Characters

By andrew joanisMay 7, 2015
If you think finding the right words to say thanks to your mom this Mother's Day is hard, try finding the right sentiment when you're a lit character with MAJOR MOMMY ISSUES... More  →
The Perfectly Ridiculous Mother's Day Cards of Famous Literary Characters

Terrible Dating Advice From an Old Dowager

By andrew joanisApril 29, 2015
Shockingly, acreage and annual salary are no longer the main features you seek in a potential partner. Also, the whole cousin thing is probably illegal. Don't worry though, this old dowager is full to bursting with more out-of-date relationship advice! More  →
Terrible Dating Advice From an Old Dowager