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Posts by andrew joanis

Your Age According to Your Pajamas

By andrew joanisJune 24, 2015
The age-old idioms "you are what you eat," "you are how you spell the word colo(u)r," and "you are what your mom fed your cat for breakfast" are said to date back to eighteenth-century France. Newsflash, guys: you've been lied to. FOR 236 YEARS. This slideshow is here to dis More  →
Your Age According to Your Pajamas

The DOs and DON'Ts of Talking to Your Crush

By andrew joanisMay 27, 2015
If you are a human who does human things (like consume electrolytes and get nervous around crushes), then you have come to the right place (if you are a lizard looking for the Miniature Sombrero Convention, it's two doors down on the left). Yes, the mere thought of approa More  →
The DOs and DON'Ts of Talking to Your Crush

Why It's Totally Cool to Still Have a Twin Bed When You're 20

By andrew joanisMay 22, 2015
If you are the nighttime resident of a twin bed, you are well aware of its downsides (leg cramps when the cat stretches out on your legs, no room for practicing snow angels, etc). Popular culture and social norms have led you to believe that this twin bed will magically More  →
Why It's Totally Cool to Still Have a Twin Bed When You're 20

The Perfectly Ridiculous Mother's Day Cards of Famous Literary Characters

By andrew joanisMay 7, 2015
If you think finding the right words to say thanks to your mom this Mother's Day is hard, try finding the right sentiment when you're a lit character with MAJOR MOMMY ISSUES... More  →
The Perfectly Ridiculous Mother's Day Cards of Famous Literary Characters

Terrible Dating Advice From an Old Dowager

By andrew joanisApril 29, 2015
Shockingly, acreage and annual salary are no longer the main features you seek in a potential partner. Also, the whole cousin thing is probably illegal. Don't worry though, this old dowager is full to bursting with more out-of-date relationship advice! More  →
Terrible Dating Advice From an Old Dowager

Other Terrible Presents From the Wizard of Oz

By andrew joanisApril 2, 2015
Given how beloved The Wizard of Oz is, it's safe to assume that everyone has forgotten what a TOTAL PHONEY the wizard is with his giant gift box of white elephant junk. Imagine spending Christmas with this guy: "Oh, a gold tchotchke shaped like a heart, made out of cheap pla More  →
Other Terrible Presents From the Wizard of Oz

How to Flirt on a Horse

By andrew joanisMarch 27, 2015
If you think toting about a cute puppy is a good way to pick up, JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU TRY LUGGING AROUND A HORSE :D You will, however, need to refine your skills if you are going to parlay a game of polo into a coupling—they don't call it horsemanship for nothing...FOLLOW O More  →
How to Flirt on a Horse

The Secret Struggles of Leprechauns

By andrew joanisMarch 17, 2015
You might think leprechauns have it easy—they spend their lives squirreling away their riches (HELLO, COLLEGE FUND) and don't have to worry about what to wear every day—but in fact they are residents of Struggle City, just like the rest of us. This St. Paddy's day, as More  →
The Secret Struggles of Leprechauns
Lesser-Known Traits of the Chinese Zodiac

Lesser-Known Traits of the Chinese Zodiac

By andrew joanisFebruary 19, 2015
Those born in the year of the tiger are famed for their strong defenses and love of adventure, but DID YOU KNOW that tigers are also renowned for their inability to climb into hammocks? WE SEE YOU, CHILDREN OF 1998. Today, we pull back the curtain on the lesser-known (but w More  →