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Posts by andrew joanis

The WORST First Kisses in History

By andrew joanisJanuary 13, 2016
Think your first kiss was bad? Historically speaking, you've done a lot better than the rest. More  →
The WORST First Kisses in History

Literary Pets, RANKED

By andrew joanisNovember 23, 2015
Without further ado, from WORST to BEST: At Hogwarts, you're allowed an owl, cat, frog, or I guess a terrible old man who helped bring about the death of your best friend's parents who is disguised as a rat. WHO WROTE THESE RULES? More  →
Literary Pets, RANKED

Where Our Favorite Characters Would've Studied Abroad

By andrew joanisSeptember 29, 2015
Where you choose to haul your tote bags abroad reveals a great deal about your deepest hopes and aspirations, your unfulfilled food cravings, and the fact that you chose to haul tote bags instead of a more practical backpack with breathable fabric and equal weight distributi More  →
Where Our Favorite Characters Would've Studied Abroad

How to Deal with Trolls

By andrew joanisSeptember 3, 2015
The modern phenomenon of internet trolls (hailed by some as skilled artisans, derided by others as the bottom-feeders of the internet) has eclipsed the centuries-old but e'er-relevant phenomenon of actual trolls. While a simple Google search of "how to deal with trolls" wi More  →
How to Deal with Trolls

The 13 Most Useful Harry Potter Spells for the Muggle World

By andrew joanisAugust 25, 2015
Using their brand new formula, the Harry Potter mathematicians at SparkLife HQ (yes, we have those) recently calculated that there is an 800% chance that 239% of the earth's population wishes they were functioning members of wizarding society. Click through for the spells a More  →
The 13 Most Useful <i>Harry Potter</i> Spells for the Muggle World

Our Own Better Book Titles

By andrew joanisAugust 4, 2015
Wouldn't life be simpler if we could all just judge books by their covers?* Dan Wilbur says duh, and therefore so do we. *Literally. The only metaphorical cover-judging we endorse is that carried out by Regina George, because without it Mean Girls would be lacking in a m More  →
Our Own Better Book Titles

7 Signs You're Dating an Actual Ghost

By andrew joanisJuly 21, 2015
Here in the year 2015, technology has provided us with more ways than ever to get dumped! There's the passive-aggressive Instagram post, the sheepish text message, the "It's not you, it's meme," the strategic Unfollow, and that bananas-driving-est method of all: ghosting. G More  →
7 Signs You're Dating an Actual Ghost

Fictional Character Product Endorsements

By andrew joanisJuly 16, 2015
After their book contracts expire, literary characters have to make bank somehow... More  →
Fictional Character Product Endorsements

Your Age According to Your Pajamas

By andrew joanisJune 24, 2015
The age-old idioms "you are what you eat," "you are how you spell the word colo(u)r," and "you are what your mom fed your cat for breakfast" are said to date back to eighteenth-century France. Newsflash, guys: you've been lied to. FOR 236 YEARS. This slideshow is here to dis More  →
Your Age According to Your Pajamas