Sparkler happyhostage reminds us that the annual NaNoWriMo starts in just 13 days! —SparkNotes editors

Here’s an idea, Sparklers: why don’t we all try NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)?

Those of you who know what I’m talking about are probably already arranging for my ride to the nearest loony bin. (Thanks, but I think it’s a bit too late for that.)

For those of you who don’t know, during the month of November, people all over the world write novels. There are two different ways to do it: through the Young Writer’s Program for writers 17 and under (where you write any amount of words you want), and the big one, NaNoWriMo itself, which is open to all ages, and which asks participants to write 50,000 words each.

Cue the Law & Order doink doink sound, because the mystery that is the Bard of all bards has been solved—or so says HuffPo.

If you've ever felt grossly inadequate while pondering the fact that William Shakespeare (allegedly) penned 37 plays, 154 sonnets, and 2 narrative poems in his 52 years of life, then it may come as a relief that a computer program in London has shown he (allegedly) had help on at least one of those plays. (We, for the record, still feel inadequate.)

Can you judge a book by its cover? Publishing giant Penguin thinks so. According to the New York Times, Penguin is repackaging a bunch of its classic literature using cover designs from contemporary artists, which (they hope) will make teens more likely to pick them up. (Click here for a look at the artwork, which includes covers for Wuthering Heights, The Scarlet Letter, and—our favorite—Pride and Prejudice illustrated with a pair of Edward Gorey-esque silhouettes and a graphic black-and-white design.)

If publishers really want to connect with a teen audience, your SparkNotes editors would like to suggest some alternative methods of making classic literature even more appealing:

What’s the best way to get rich? Get a job? Come up with a brilliant idea? No way! Those things are far too practical and time-consuming. We recommend ripping off an idea that’s already proved it’s worth millions. The Twilight series, for instance—how hard could it be to write your own variation and come up with a bestselling teen series? Let’s find out. Below are ideas for some new romantic-spooky book series featuring popular horror monsters.

Twilight with Godzilla

Angela is a shy, bookish 17-year-old girl who just started at a new high school.

Chapter Six: Friends
Better Title: [In sing-song fashion] Jacob Has a Girlfriend, Jacob Has a Girlfriend.

Though there are no fights or explosions or Emmett, this is the best chapter of the book so far. For the first time, the story seems real. The chapter picks up with Bella hanging out in Jacob's garage as he begins to take apart the motorcycles to see what needs to be fixed. While working, he tells her about his school and his two friends, the oddly named Quil and Embry, which when said together sound like a British meat dish served with eggs.

Sparklers, while Dan has been blogging Twilight and now New Moon, you've been writing plenty of posts suggesting things that you could be reading over the summer (in addition to SparkLife, naturally). Now it's time for a check-in.

Have you been working your way through every book on your summer list? Or maybe with summer jobs, summer love, Harry Potter 6, friends, sleep, and a million other daily distractions, William Faulkner hasn't been so much on your mind. And maybe, if you're anything like us, you're starting to get that icky under-accomplished feeling every time you look at the teetering book tower in the corner of your bedroom.

So what's to be done about those nagging feelings of midsummer underachievement?

Harry Potter. Twilight. His Dark Materials. Eragon. Percy Jackson. These books have become very successful, and all it took to make them was a few well-organized words. So what are you waiting for? Write your own fantasy novel!

We've come up with a few tips and tactics to help get you on your way. Follow these rules and you will become a bestselling author overnight. (Then you can sell out and turn your books into lackluster films and TV shows!)

After years of Quidditch play, evil wizard chasing, and coming of age at Hogwarts, Harry and the gang are all grown up. After the seventh and final book was published, author J.K. Rowling revealed details of the group’s future on her website. According to Rowling, Harry becomes Head of the Ministry of Magic, and he and Ginny Weasley start their own magical family. Ron and Hermione also join the Ministry, but Hermione later transfers to the Department of Magical Law. These sound like great futures, but wait, didn’t we miss a step? What about life right after Hogwarts? Here’s our best guess about the Hogwarts trio’s college years:

Hermione pledges Pi Beta Phi to make some Muggle friends. When she cancels the limo for the Spring Ball and rents a stretch broom instead, her sorority sisters protest, and she returns her pledge pin and joins the college bowling team instead.

Some people in the world are gifted with the ability to read two (or more) books at once. No, we don't mean that one eye reads one book, while the other eye reads the second book. We're talking about people who love reading so much that they usually have more than one book on their nightstand and can dip in and out of any novel whenever they'd like. Instead of completing a book before moving on to the next, these talented readers can keep up with multiple stories at the same time.

The mainstream media must not have gotten the memo that we settled the Harry Potter/Twilight controversy last week, because they continue to weigh in on the rivalry of the century. The Wall Street Journal may have all kinds of big box office numbers and fancy quotes from 13-year-olds in Alberta, Canada, but we have chutzpah. And we think we can kill this issue once and for all, the gentlemanly way—with a good, clean WWE smackdown.