You're late. And you don't have the assignment. Who knows why? Maybe you didn't want to get out of bed. Maybe you were too busy to find out the answer to x=n4 because you were at the New Moon premier, shaking with an intense excitement. Maybe your group project partner has the worst four-day-old-Chinese-food-smelling B.O. in the history of humans and you just couldn't work with her for one more second. For whatever reason, you're screwed.

But don't worry. We have three foolproof ways you can save your butt:

We like dannydoestrun824's tips on sucking up because they're intended to avoid annoying fellow students. On behalf of students everywhere, thanks! —SparkNotes editors

You know that kid who the teacher absolutely loves. The kid who always gets As. The kid who can do no wrong. I hate that kid. Or at least I used to.

The art of sucking up is more difficult than it seems. People assume all you have to do is compliment the teacher and laugh at his ridiculously unfunny jokes. But it's not that easy. Aside from gaining your teachers admiration, you also want to suck up in a way that's not irritating to your classmates. So aim for charming, not teacher’s pet. Here's my advice:

Sounds like Sparkler xXx_lola_xXx has had some horrible teachers. We hope you have better luck next year, lola! —SparkNotes editors

You've been in school for a lonnnng time, but you still have trouble relating to teachers. They say things and you think you have it down, but you're wrong. I have discovered the true meaning behind a lot of the remarks teachers make, and I feel it is my obligation to clue you in:

When they say: This homework assignment is important.
They mean: I want you to spend your entire evening on this homework. I want you to have no social life. When I grade your homework, I will give you the lowest possible grade for the work you did.

How does Sparkler dannydoesntrun824 come up with this brilliant stuff? **rumages through papers, bites bottom lip** Don't ask us! —SparkNotes editors

Your hands are clammy. You keep looking over your left shoulder. Apparently, you were supposed to read chapter 14 last night, but right now you’re thinking, "I didn’t even know we finished chapter 8." Mr. Rosen enjoys calling on students and humiliating them when they don’t know the answer. You’re doomed.

...Wait, maybe not. Here are my tips to avoid getting called on:

Sparkler AllisonJY is back, and more angst-y than ever. We love her 'tude, and totes picture her as a conscientious overachiever...in cherry red combat boots and black leather motorcycle pants. Are we close, Allison? —SparkNotes editors

The beginning of the school year is over, which means teachers are free to give lengthy, scary exams that require you to re-learn two months of information within a few days.

We've been talking a lot about teachers lately: awesome teachers, clueless teachers, and teachers who drive you nuts. You spend hours upon hours with these adults each week, and we know that you have feelings—strong feelings—about them.

Today, we're wondering which you prefer: a really tough teacher, or one who's super easy? It's not a simple question. Arguments could be made for both...and as you may have expected, we've dissected those arguments in depth. Before you vote for one or the other, consider these factors:

Sparkler Cleptonun has some fab ideas about forging a positive relationship with a teacher or professor without coming across like a suck up. Enjoy! —SparkNotes editors

Suck ups are frustrating and annoying. Heck, even most teachers don’t care for them. So here is the question: How do you impress a teacher without being labeled as a brown-noser?

1. Disagree with the teacher.