On the off-chance you don't have them, let us explain: superlatives are those inane predictions or smoochy titles seniors confer on each other (through voting) before they graduate. If you have a really small graduating class, this may sound like a great idea, because almost everyone will get named something, and you'll get to go home knowing you at least had the Most Consistently Even Tan.

The larger the class, though, the less likely anyone is to actually get one, which makes the whole experience seem suspiciously negative. Some schools make up for this by adding even more superlatives, really specific ones, but the risk is that you still don't get Best Oboe Player even though you're the only oboe player, and you graduate feeling defeated, believing your dreams of oboe stardom now seem so tawdry. When this happens, you may feel like you got a non-award for being the worst.

So we finally got around to watching the pilot episode of the new TV phenomeon, Glee. (Yeah, we totally realize that it's been available online since, like, last May. We were busy getting a tan.) But now that we've experienced the glory of a high-school dramedy backed by a cappella harmonies, we're super pumped for the series premiere. We're especially curious to see what happens with Finn, the football-jock who took a huge risk in the pilot by joining the glee club, thus committing one of the most dangerous high school social moves: Crossing Cliques.

Crossing cliques is a really tough thing to do. Usually, only people lucky enough to have the "floater" gene are able to move from clique to clique without inciting the wrath and hatred of one of the two groups. I speak from experience.

Programs like Summer Success at Agua Fria High School in Arizona are helping students prep for ninth grade by teaching them how to do things like "plan course schedules, make friends, join teams and clubs or even find a seat in the lunchroom." We love that lunchroom-seat-finding unit and want to sit in out of sheer morbid curiosity. But we can think of a few crucial additions to Agua Fria's course schedule. Freshly-minted froshes, you'll need classes on how to: