Mystery: solved. We finally know where Sparkler safetylast_23's nickname came from! —SparkNotes editors

After years of spouting useless Humphrey Bogart trivia (he got his scar and lisp in WWI), scoffing at new movies (Paranormal Activity? Puh-lease!), and enduring constant sighs from my parents and friends, I’m forced to admit it: I’m a movie snob.

And I’m not your normal movie snob, either. I specialize in being a snob about movies made from 1918-1959. Why, you ask? Well, I’d tell you, but it would take about 5,000 words and it’s probably a really boring story for everyone but me.

This is my list of four old movies, comedies specifically, that I think everyone can enjoy. This is by no means a complete list of excellent old comedies, just four that aren’t mentioned as often as I'd like:

We're proud of our new 1984 Video SparkNote, especially considering there were a lot of Video SparkNotes that didn't make the cut. One rejected series was Math Video SparkNotes, a collection that would have included the following:

American Pi

Four old-looking teenage guys and one raspy bleach blonde who will later host a show in her bathing suit on the E! Network set out to find the last digit of Pi before high school graduation. The group's leader comes up with a foolproof plan to determine the fixed ratio of circumference to diameter after prom. While hanging out with their girlfriends, each guy except the leader realizes that it doesn't matter if he ever finds the last digit of Pi; the real fun is in the journey. The raspy blonde satisfies the leader by faking the last digit, and everyone goes to college happy.

Over the weekend, teen country sensation (and recent Kanye West abusee) Taylor Swift pulled double-duty as the host and musical guest for Saturday Night Live. And while we haven't quite forgiven her for yet another performance of “You Belong With Me” (the song has been stuck in our head since sometime in August, and we've just about had it), she totally made up for it with her great comic timing, enthusiasm, and moments of awesomeness like:

Every year, stores seem to push their holiday merchandise earlier and earlier. We once joked about selling Christmas trees in September; now we must joke about selling them in August, and even that doesn't seem so far-fetched. This weekend, the new computer animated 3-D version of A Christmas Carol will open across the country, nearly two months ahead of the holiday.

With Christmas in the air, we wonder: Is promoting the holidays this far in advance a bad thing? We weigh the pros and cons.

There are just a few weeks left until the premier of New Moon, and all over the country, advertising executives are sitting in offices, racking their brains over the whole “Twilight” phenomenon.

Ad Exec #1: Hey, I hear that kids these days are really into sparkly vampires.
Ad Exec #2: Sparkly what? Albert, are you drunk again?
Ad Exec #1: No, I'm dead serious! Sparkly vampires, Bob! Apparently the entire thing is just an extended metaphor for teen abstinence, but they freakin' love it.
Ad Exec #2: Really? Let's look it up on the Google.
(pause)
Ad Exec #2: Sweet peacocks! You're right! We'd better take this love of sparkly vampires and create an ad campaign around it, immediately!
Ad Exec #1: Yes! YES! But... for what product?
Ad Exec #2: All of them, Albert. ALL OF THEM.

Sparklers, prepare yourselves: November 20th is The Day of Reckoning. On this otherwise quiet Friday, New Moon, the latest installment of the Twilight saga, will explode into theaters with a blaze of scowls, whininess, and uber-intense face-touching. Since this will almost certainly be the most important day of your entire life, we’ve put together a list of things to do when you attend the movie’s opening:

1. Buy tickets to the midnight showing, which is sure to be packed with die-hard fans, and dress up as Harry Potter.