Back when we were bright-eyes and eager teens, we at SparkNotes had to go through all the joys and frustrations that come with getting your first driver’s license. Here are our stories:

Sparkler got_paint is so awesome. That's all we have to say. —SparkNotes editors

If you guys are like me, then cold weather exacerbates your asthma, reactive airway disorder, and pulmonary defects. With winter just around the corner, we should take into consideration the statements we could be making with our inhalers. These are techniques I’ve used to pimp my inhaler, and make one of the most physically miserable seasons a little brighter.

You may remember a series we published a few weeks back called Unrequited Love is Awesome, in which we pummeled you with advice on how to win the gooey heart of your crush, ooze sex appeal while surrounded by meatloaf, and become the least-respected congressman in your state. Now that you know how to woo the apple of your eye, it’s time to talk about the reverse scenario: what to do when someone has an unreciprocated crush on YOU.

Sparkler Sappranoconda has helpful advice for theater n00bs, and maybe even some theater veterans. Good luck with tryouts, everyone! —SparkNotes editors

So, you want to try out for your school musical? Whether you’re an accomplished actor or brand new to the stage, the audition process can be a daunting (if not terrifying) experience that can leave even the most talented and confident young performers hiding in the prop room backstage crying, “It wabsn’t goob enoub and...and... *sobs uncontrollably*.”

How does Sparkler dannydoesntrun824 come up with this brilliant stuff? **rumages through papers, bites bottom lip** Don't ask us! —SparkNotes editors

Your hands are clammy. You keep looking over your left shoulder. Apparently, you were supposed to read chapter 14 last night, but right now you’re thinking, "I didn’t even know we finished chapter 8." Mr. Rosen enjoys calling on students and humiliating them when they don’t know the answer. You’re doomed.

...Wait, maybe not. Here are my tips to avoid getting called on:

ALOL LOL LOL LOL LOLZ LOLZ! We heart marshizzle1! —SparkNotes editors

My mother always says, “Nothing's awkward unless you think it’s awkward. Now do the dishes.”

However, you and I both know this is completely untrue. No matter how hard you try not to, you will still snort when you laugh around your crush, feel awkward, and be awkward. Isn't awkwardness part of the teen package? Part of the raging hormones, attraction to the opposite (or same) sex, and hair in awkward places? Yes. But fear not, distressed Sparkler, awkwardness is not entirely unavoidable. Throughout my teen years, I have developed strategies to deal with those tense moments and ultimately avoid awkwardness entirely:

Sparklers, you may not know this, but we're experts at failure. Below are some lessons we learned the hard way.

How to Fail at Driving: While backing out of your driveway, calmly look into your rear view mirror and confirm that the coast is clear. Then knock over three trashcans, take out your neighbor’s mailbox, and crash directly into the three-story treehouse your father spent nine years building. Lay your head on your steering wheel and sob quietly for a solid hour.

Who knew it was daylight savings time?

We admit: we kinda forgot. How were we supposed to know? Nobody talked about it this time. We don’t remember seeing any news coverage, and so when we woke up and saw the time on the microwave (which was five minutes before we were supposed to be at the farmers market picking out pork shoulders) we freaked out. And then when we saw the time on our cell phones, which changes automatically through invisible air waves that we cannot understand, we were greatly relieved.

Sparkler lemondropofdoom brings up a problem we all face, but rarely discuss: what to name those pesky characters in our fiction projects. Enjoy! —SparkNotes editors

Maybe you’re an aspiring young writer aiming to pen an award-winning novel amazing enough for Dan Bergstein to write a positive blog about it. More likely, Coach is going to drop you from the team if you don’t pass English, and your teacher has assigned a fictional narrative for you to write.

Fiction writing requires a lot of thought and creativity. You have to pick the setting, create the events, and make believable characters. For many people, the innovative process of fiction writing is a fun experience, but for others, the creative freedom makes their blood run cold. Picking names is one of the millions of tasks would-be authors must face. "What do I name my characters? I like the name Jezebel. But doesn’t that mean something…bad? What if I name my main character something bad or lame, thinking it’s really cool, and everyone makes fun of me?" As a survivor of these panic attacks, I offer you my condolences, and a few tips that might help you pick a decent name:

Sparkler Smokey778 obviously has tons of experience destroying opponents in debates while bringing audiences to laughter-induced tears. We're not sure if we have a future president or the next host of The Daily Show on our hands, but either way, we like it. —SparkNotes editors

Intellectual sparing, civilized argument, verbal chess, whatever you call it, debate is a big part of high school, college, and for some people, the real world, and you'll probably have to take part in one eventually.

There are different tactics for dealing with debates: You could research your subject thoroughly, construct a logical argument, then calmly analyzes your opponent’s views and find its weak points, or you could dip kittens in Jell-O, then ride around the town square on a llama singing "Barbie Girl."