Email forwards make us want to super glue our eyelids shut forever. The thing that really boggles our minds about forwards is that certain people (looking at you, Dad) think each and every one is a special, original, non-horribly annoying e-gift, and should be shared with the world. Those people are wrong. So wrong, in fact, that we were able to compile a list of characteristics of pretty much every email forward ever sent:

Three fifths of the time, the email forward is sent by someone over 40. Anxious moms are the worst offenders.
Email forwards usually have a really obvious "message." Some are life-affirming little stories about the miracle of being alive. Some are angry political rants. No matter what the topic, there's little left to the imagination.

We think Sparkler ReannaTheElf is the most clever elf there ever was! (Seriously, she could teach a college-level course on getting rid of annoying people.) —SparkNotes editors

School is out, holiday break is underway, and you're probably losing your mind from having two weeks with absolutely nothing to do. Just when you think you couldn't get any grumpier, your parents drop a large metaphorical bomb on you: “Oh, don’t forget, your relatives are coming over for New Year's.”

WHAT??? You stand there in shock as your wondrous vacation dwindles away to a total of…nothing. Instead of having any fun at all, you will be dealing with your hyperactive younger cousins, your egotistical uncle, and your “dear old” Aunt Dolores. And there’s no escape in sight.

Or is there? For your Spark-viewing pleasure, I have broken down these pesky relative visitors into three separate categories and provided expert strategies for dealing with each of them. So sit back, relax, and read…your vacation may be salvageable after all.

Along with the many privileges granted to you in your teen years (driving!) come a few responsibilities that you might make you long for your toddler years. For example, when you were a kid, it was acceptable for you to play in a separate room while the adults gabbed, reminisced, and were boring. But as a teenager, you’re expected to join the discussion. Or more precisely, you’re expected to nibble on pretzels in silence while the "grownups" talk around you. The problem only gets worse over the holidays, when prolonged visitation by extended family brings many opportunities for mind-numbing discussion. What can you do?

Here are some possible scenarios and suggestions for how you can cope with them.

Traditions are important for keeping a family glued together, because truthfully, what else would? Family members, especially as they age, become less and less likable. But that doesn’t mean I’ve stop loving the people in my family; I just don’t really like them the way I like my own friends or the older and vaguely sexy conductor who punches my ticket on the Metra.

It’s right about now in the holiday season when quality family time starts to feel more like jail time. There are only so many dinners, movies, singalongs, and fire-watching sessions you can take before you find yourself completely overloaded on family bonding.

It’s not that you don’t love your family. You do. It’s just that you’d rather comb your eyeballs than play another game of Taboo with them this month. We get it. It’s natural. So, we’re going to do our best to help you dial back the family overload a few notches with three simple suggestions:

During the holidays, you’re supposed to do family things together—things like chopping Christmas trees, shopping for presents, or if you’re in my family, pounding eggnog.

And while some of those things can certainly be festive, nothing says family more than just being together at home in front of the fire. It’s supposed to be a relaxing Sunday afternoon, and I’m sitting bundled on the couch watching Home Alone for the fifth time this month. I start yelling at the TV, trying to convince Kevin McCallister to smarten up. It could all be over if he'd just call the cops. Yet instead of logically dialing 911, there Kevin is, jumping on beds while eating popcorn, impersonating mobsters to scare off nerdy pizza boys, and stealing toothbrushes from corner stores.

We can't wait to see Nana Beth, Grandma Lannom, Grandpa Brown, and Auntie Amy. But Dance4life51 is decidedly less excited about hanging out with her fam. In fact, she's in a teeth-gnashing rage about Thanksgiving. Um...enjoy? —SparkNotes Editors

The holiday weekend brings with it a whole host of relatives and family friends, and a seemingly endless series of painfully awkward encounters. You're not crazy about half of these people, and you don't remember ever meeting the other half. The whole experience can be horribly unpleasant—but you can do something about it. Here are some quick tips on how to shake things up and save your sanity this Thanksgiving:

As many of you Sparklers prepare for one of the best eating holidays in the history of man (otherwise know as Thanksgiving), we’d be remiss not to acknowledge the downside of the holiday season: awkward family gatherings.

Take comfort in the knowledge that awkward family moments are so universal that they're all over the internet, TV, and in many of the best books and plays ever written. Here’s a list our favorite awkward family situations:

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and with it comes an evening or two of family board games. These games can reveal a lot about you and your family members. Are you motivated by winning? Do you just want everyone to have a good time? Do you need everyone to follow the rules, or do you just like to go with the flow?

We've broken down the various player types:

The Megaphone
The Megaphone's vocal volume tends to match the intensity of the game. When his team is losing and desperately needs a good roll or a correct answer, he SCREAMS OUT LOUD! A LOT! Deluded by his own enthusiasm, the Megaphone is completely unaware that he's blowing out his teammates' eardrums.

Sparkler Coral_Sharx brings solid logical reasoning to her post about trust. Enjoy! —SparkNotes Editors

We’ve all had to go through it—it’s Friday night, and your friends show up asking you if you want to hang out. But your parents refuse to let you go, saying “you have too much homework” or “you have to wake up early for sports practice tomorrow,” while really they’re thinking: “Pssssht. Just yesterday you lied to me about those test scores, and now you think we’re going to let you go out at this time of night? Who knows what teenagers are doing these days…”

Why do adults not trust us? We’re old enough to think for ourselves, but most parents insist on putting us on a leash, dictating who we’re allowed to hang out with, what time we need to be home, and even when to do our homework and go to bed. As guardians, they might be entitled to that, but we also deserve some freedom once in a while…right?