My parents divorced two years ago, and I live with my mom. She moved on very quickly and immediately found a new boyfriend, which initially made me somewhat (understandably, I think) uncomfortable. Over time I grew more comfortable with the guy and actually started to like him. A few months later, she introduced us to her new "friend," and soon it became increasingly clear that the two were more than that... So here we are, with BF #1 and BF #2. Essentially, my mother is playing the field.
It's Valentines day and I've found myself curled in front of my laptop, eating Ben and Jerry's and crying onto my cat's head. A few weeks ago I sent you a letter about being unsure about dating my ex again -- well, I did, for the eleventh time and we broke up TODAY. This sucks. I know it's probably completely unhealthy to date someone so many times, but I didn't know what to do. Ugh, How do I stop repeating this same stupid cycle? I don't want to do this again.
Eeek. Well, I'm certainly sorry I didn't catch your earlier letter. This is probably a good time to mention an important fact about The Writing Patterns of Auntie SparkNotes: even if I do use your question, a week or two usually elapses between the time you send it to me and the time that I post it. Which means that if you have a super-urgent problem—for instance, if you're currently writing me a letter that begins, "Dear Auntie, I am submerged up to my neck in a tank full of piranhas and was wondering if I should get out"—you might want to consult an immediate source of feedback instead of (or at least, in addition to) me.
Dear Auntie Sparknotes,
Ever since sixth grade, I have been friends with this girl, who for the sake of privacy I am calling... Um, Theresa. We were inseparable in sixth grade, but towards the end of seventh grade, we began drifting apart. She got more popular friends, and although she invited me to spend time with them, I’ve always been the shy type and I feel like I don’t really belong. She’s not mean or excluding, and neither are her new friends, but essentially I don’t feel comfortable with these people, and they don’t feel comfortable with me there. I’d rather hang out with Theresa alone, but she’s usually with other friends and I don’t want to be clingy and selfish.
It's rapid-fire response time! Today, before we get to the down-and-dirty giving of advice, I've got some quick and dirty answers to a few of your quips and queries from the comments.
From zella:
How do I deal with a Chihuahua's separation anxiety?
Sadly, Chihuahuas are not among my areas of expertise. Perhaps this?
Dear Auntie SparkNotes,
I feel really silly, but I need help. I'm an 18 year old senior, and my boyfriend and I started dating at the end of ninth grade, so we've almost been together for 3 years. We love each other very much. I've told him all the bad things that have happened to me, we've shared everything, and he's even asked me to marry him. But: He's in a predicament where he has no place to go but a trade school, near where his parents are, after graduation. This is 6 hours away from where I plan to go to college. He does not have a car, his parents don't have a house phone or internet. I may be getting a car, but I'm not a very experienced driver, especially not for 6 hours alone.
You were first intrigued by that emo guy/girl in your class when you saw his default Facebook picture, which highlights his awesome side-parted hair, apathetic facial expression, and cute non-prescription glasses. You struck up conversations in passing periods, lunch, and if you’re weird, in the bathroom. Since getting to know your emo, you’ve shared a lot: you’ve traded your thoughts on the indie music scene, swapped Chuck Taylors, and consulted each other when purchasing ironic tees from threadless.com during study hall. It’s obvious that it’s on between you and the emo. So the big question is: should you date? Consult our pros and cons of dating an emo before you take the plunge and get matching fingerstaches tattooed on your respective index fingers.
Okay Auntie, here it is:
A year ago, I fell in love. I found a boy that really loved me. And well...we got physical. It happened before I thought it would. Growing up, though I never went to a church or anything like that, I always thought I would lose my virginity when I was in my twenties. I just didn't want to be the girl that lost her virginity in high school. I don't like the stereotype. I didn't want to make any mistakes... Lose it to the wrong person. However, now I am in love with my boyfriend of a year and half, and we have sex.
Hello Auntie,
So I have this friend. She is really nice and funny, and I love her to death, but lately I've been very worried about her. She has been dating a lot of different guys, and usually just for a week or two before they split up, and she moves on to the next guy in a week. One guy in particular (let's call him Phil) is really worrying me. He was her first boyfriend, and after a month or two his new girlfriend broke up with her over a text. It really messed up her confidence.... until she got back together with him. That time, Phil cheated on her, and she yelled at him in a big showdown in front of her entire class. I was proud of her for confronting him, until she dated him AGAIN! Now, she has a new crush or boyfriend or drama almost every day.
Dear Auntie SparkNotes,
Basically my life is sucking right now.
My parents got divorced when I was really young. I've always loved it how it is: me, my mom, and my younger brother. Me and mom have always been very close. I told her more than most teenagers probably tell their parents. She would tell me just about everything going on with her.
So when I found out my mom had a boyfriend that she hadn't told me about, I was super happy for her...right? WRONG! I know it's probably terrible but I hate it. She finally told me about a week ago and I thought that this was just someone who my mom could finally have "adult time" with. I never expected to find out that she had been telling him things that I thought were just between us.
Today's letter-writer kept her question short and sweet:
I am a freshman in high school and I haven't had a boyfriend. Like, ever. I know that guys are stupid in high school and I should be happy with my life, but it's so depressing that almost all my friends have dated at least one guy. I am happy with who I am but it doesn't seem like it's good enough. I am pretty enough- I think- nice, casual, smart.... Okay, well, I'm more of a nerd, but same thing. The thing is that mostly, guys go for the brand girls- you know, they dress in Aeropostale, Abercrombie, Hollister, aka the stupid clothes that don't express your personality. I was wondering, do you have any tips as a girl, that might help me?
I also wanted to ask what do I do for my push-over-ness. I tend to be pretty lenient and kinda let people walk over me. Can you help?
Become a fan on Facebook »
Follow us on Twitter »
»
