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The Worst Things You Could Possibly Say in a New Class

By Erik BergstromAugust 26, 2014
NEW SCHOOL YEAR, NEW BLANK SLATE. NEW SLATE YOU HAVE NOT YET SMASHED OVER THE HEAD OF YOUR SECRET CRUSH. NEW CRUSH YOU HAVE NOT YET RUINED BY OPENING YOUR MOUTH. HERE IS WHAT NOT TO SAY WHEN YOU SIDLE INTO CHEMISTRY CLASS AND ARE STRUCK... More  →
The Worst Things You Could Possibly Say in a New Class

The Elodie Awards: 2014 Emmys Edition (Complete with Questionable Dancing, Bow Ties, and Aaron Paul GALORE)

By ElodieAugust 26, 2014
Welcome to another edition of the Elodie Awards, wherein I give out awards based on merit and fabulous hair. For those wondering, yes, I do this in my daily life also. I regularly give out the "worst person in the history of ever"... More  →
The Elodie Awards: 2014 Emmys Edition (Complete with Questionable Dancing, Bow Ties, and Aaron Paul GALORE)

It's Official: School Starts Too Early

By Valerie BurnAugust 26, 2014
Today in This Is Not News-news: school starts too early. If you're anything like us, your daily routine looks something like this: 6:00: Alarm goes off 6:10, 6:20, 6:30: Alarm continues to go off 6:40: Get in the shower for 5 minutes 6:45: Fight with your hair... More  →
It's Official: School Starts Too Early

Our Back-to-School Horror Stories Will Put Yours to Shame

By SparkLifeAugust 26, 2014
Was yesterday a disaster for you? Did you walk into any panes of glass or light your pants on fire in chemistry? WE HAVE YOU BEAT. Read on for the back-to-school horror stories of a still-mortified splogger and sparkitor contingent... Chelsea Dagger and the Legend of... More  →
Our Back-to-School Horror Stories Will Put Yours to Shame

Ask Jono: Getting Through To a BF Who's Acting Weird

By Jon_SkindzierAugust 26, 2014
Hey Jono!! There's a guy. (Shocker.) And I like him. (How surprising.) Plot twist: He actually likes me back. We're "talking" or whatever when it's kinda the awkward in-between thing between dating and not dating. Which is fine by me, he's a little scared going into... More  →
Ask Jono: Getting Through To a BF Who's Acting Weird

21 Things From Childhood We Want to Take Into Grownupdom

By Jason SaenzAugust 26, 2014
Being an adult means you can eat all the sugary cereal you want, drive to the beach with friends on the weekend or drop out of life completely and ride the rails as a brakeman. The choice is yours, Adult! But if we... More  →
21 Things From Childhood We Want to Take Into Grownupdom
THE RED CARPET SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME: An ALL-CAPS Style Recap of the 2014 Emmys!

THE RED CARPET SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME: An ALL-CAPS Style Recap of the 2014 Emmys!

By Chelsea DaggerAugust 26, 2014
Good morning, Sparklebutts, and welcome to your second all-caps style recap of the week! After the red carpet carnage at the VMAs (SO MUCH WARM-WEATHER LEATHER! SO MUCH BOOBS!), you'll be happy to learn that what the Emmys lacked in cleavage, they made up for in glamour. ALA More  →

Open Thread for August 26!

By SparkLifeAugust 26, 2014
YAY OR NAY THIS LOOKS LIKE THE EYE OF SAURON? ... More  →
Open Thread for August 26!

Auntie SparkNotes: How Can I Get My Friend To Ask Me To Prom Again?

By kat_rosenfieldAugust 25, 2014
Dear Auntie, I know that concise letters have more of a chance of being answered, so here's the shortened version: I thought a guy was cute in sophomore year, until I learned he had a girlfriend and he began calling me his sister. He officially... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: How Can I Get My Friend To Ask Me To Prom Again?