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Auntie SparkNotes: Big Mother is Watching You

By kat_rosenfieldJune 9, 2010
To us, diary-reading is an unforgivable crime, right up there with manslaughter. Sparkitors Dear Auntie Sparknotes, I think that I've been having problems with my mom. She made me give her my diary and tell her where I kept it. Now, I have to censor my own... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Big Mother is Watching You

How to Politely Refuse Dinner

By ContributorJune 9, 2010
We really could have used this article last week when Mom made “refrigerator surprise.” Thanks for the tips, crownoflaurel!— Sparkitors It’s happened to all of us: it’s dinnertime, and the food on your plate appears to be moving, made of human brains, or... More  →
How to Politely Refuse Dinner

5 Signs You've Been Accepted to Hogwarts

By kat_rosenfieldJune 9, 2010
With final exams nearly over and most passing grades in the bag, you probably thought you knew exactly what you'd be doing next year—whether it's moving up from middle school, entering tenth grade, or jetting off to an out-of-state college. Yep, it's all sewn up...... More  →
5 Signs You've Been Accepted to Hogwarts

Halo: Reach-How to Prepare Loved Ones for Your Upcoming Disappearance

By Sean BombadilJune 9, 2010
Attention, video game fanatics: this one's for you. All five of you. It's by our brand new writer, Sean Bombadil, and it's HILARIOUS. Don't like video games? Neither do we. But we still love this article.— Sparkitors By now, your family and friends are familiar... More  →
Halo: Reach-How to Prepare Loved Ones for Your Upcoming Disappearance

Should We Recap Pretty Little Liars?

By Emily WinterJune 9, 2010
For the first 15 minutes of the new ABC Family series Pretty Little Liars (based on the book series), this ed kept thinking,"Self, you canNOT blog Pretty Little Liars for SparkLife! Noooooo! Do not subject the Sparklers to this melodrama and... More  →
Should We Recap Pretty Little Liars?

Awesome Thing of the Week

By Chelsea DaggerJune 9, 2010
Guys, you're never going to believe what will happen when you watch this week's video: YOU WILL ALL BECOME MILLIONAIRES. Yes, that's right: after you watch this clip, the very sky above you will open up and unleash a thunderstorm of riches. $20 bills will... More  →
Awesome Thing of the Week

Open Thread for June 9

By Emily WinterJune 9, 2010
"Yes, I'd like that extra large pizza with extra cheese delivered to 123 Eat Ave. ...Not 'East Ave.,' Eat Ave. ...No, I'm not joking. It's really called Eat Avenue. ...I don't know, that's where my parents moved to. ...No, I'm not kidding!!! Does my pizza come with... More  →
Open Thread for June 9

How to Fake Being A Foodie

By Kathryn_WilliamsJune 8, 2010
With the appearance of celebrity chefs, reality cooking competitions, and entire cable networks devoted to food porn, it seems everyone and her mother has hopped on the gourmet bandwagon (full disclosure: we're driving the wagon). We may be One Nation Under Ronald, but... More  →
How to Fake Being A Foodie

How to Survive a Boring Class

By Pete CroattoJune 8, 2010
It happens all the time: you're in the middle of a class that is so boring, so devoid of any oomph or relevance, that it feels like the anchors of the S.S. Suck are attached to your eyelids. But falling asleep during a lecture isn't going... More  →
How to Survive a Boring Class

How to Make Your Family Hate You on Car Trips

By Ashley SpencerJune 8, 2010
Your little brother is singing aloud to his iPod with his pubescent scratchy voice. Your mom is mad you aren’t eating her cheese sandwiches, and is now calling you “unappreciative.” Your dad won’t stop at a gas station so you can empty your soda-infused bladder. Your... More  →
How to Make Your Family Hate You on Car Trips