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32 Bad Ideas for the First Day of School

By Lauren PassellAugust 11, 2010
It's a jungle out there, a school jungle. To tame the tigers and fly through the vines of life or something, you're going to need to know what not to do on the first day of school. Please, don't... 1. Wear tight pants and engage in... More  →
32 Bad Ideas for the First Day of School

Awesome Thing of the Week

By Chelsea DaggerAugust 11, 2010
There's nothing more hilarious than a good ol' sibling row, that's what we at SparkLife always say. If you disagree, maybe you haven't spent enough time with Chelsea Dagger and her twin sister, who have been trading pranks, punches, and friendly beatings since before the... More  →
Awesome Thing of the Week

Reasons to Hate Raisins

By ContributorAugust 11, 2010
Denisey94, that Sun Maid chick on the raisin box is WEEPING. —Sparkitors 1. Making raisins ruins grapes! Grapes are delicious, but they dry out into wrinkly little pellets that remind me of feces. 2. The texture. I don't want to eat something that looks and... More  →
Reasons to Hate Raisins

Auntie SparkNotes: Tactfully Yours

By kat_rosenfieldAugust 11, 2010
Today, Auntie addresses one of our pet peeves: people who excuse their jerkiness by saying, "I'm just being honest!" —Sparkitors Dear Auntie, Although you probably get many many questions like this and even though this may sound extremely ridiculous I have a problem: I can't lie. There... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Tactfully Yours

A Guide to Owning Up

By ContributorAugust 11, 2010
Brightsparky406, no matter what you did, we forgive you—mostly because of this awesome drawing you sent us!—Sparkitors So, you messed up. You dented your dad's car, you "accidentally" gave your little brother a wedgie, or you got straight Fs... More  →
A Guide to Owning Up

Open Thread for August 11

By Emily WinterAugust 11, 2010
Hahahahahahaha! Dooooooooood, this is AWESOME. This ed is so happy that Eebyenoh thought to take a picture of this gray paint swatch and send it in for an open thread. Very clever, Eebyenoh. We'll have to keep on eye on you—you could be a... More  →
Open Thread for August 11

How To Deal With People Who Don't Read

By ContributorAugust 10, 2010
flaming_hobgoblins, we admire your reserve, but we just can't stop putting people in headlocks.—Sparkitors You're talking a bazillion miles a minute, spilling your thoughts on a book you've just finished. When you finally stop to catch your breath and... More  →
How To Deal With People Who Don't Read

Four Ways to Fun Up Summer Reading

By kat_rosenfieldAugust 10, 2010
Many years ago, when the world was still a civilized place, people understood innately that the words "summer" and "reading" should never, EVER go together. It was a glorious epoch, and it should have lasted forever. But alas, sometime during the 20th century, school administrators... More  →
Four Ways to Fun Up Summer Reading

Committee of Cool: Matt and Kim

By Chelsea DaggerAugust 10, 2010
After the last Committee of Cool live chat (in which Chelsea Dagger valiantly attempted to act like a mature, tax-paying adult instead of a combative, Playdoh-eating toddler) a question was posed to you, our ever-loyal audience: what extraordinarily important lesson did we learn?... More  →
Committee of Cool: Matt and Kim

Auntie SparkNotes: Trans-tastic

By kat_rosenfieldAugust 10, 2010
Wanting to be a ninja is just a phase?! Thanks for bursting our bubble! *sobs while throwing away nunchucks* —Sparkitors Dear Auntie Sparknotes, I'm a 17 year-old pre-op, pre-transition, ftm [female-to-male] transboy. I'm currently not out to my mom about my gender and sexuality. I came out... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Trans-tastic