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Do You Secretly Love "Boyfriend"?

By EmmaApril 25, 2012
Yeah, yeah, we know: you hate Justin Bieber with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, etc. etc.. But don't you kind of love "Boyfriend"? OK, so Bieber's rapping could use some work, but at least it's romantic, in a totally nonsensical way ("Imma make you shine... More  →
Do You Secretly Love "Boyfriend"?

Let Me Give You Bad Advice: Become a Cyborg

By reidfaylorApril 25, 2012
Hello, Reiders! A lot of you guys had some very pressing concerns—I’m glad you turned to me for advice. If I didn’t answer your question specifically (there were so many!), I’ve gone ahead and answered all the other questions with the same all-purpose piece of... More  →
Let Me Give You Bad Advice: Become a Cyborg

Auntie SparkNotes: My Grandparents Are Making Me Choose Between Them

By kat_rosenfieldApril 25, 2012
Dear Auntie Sparknotes, I'll just get straight to the point- my grandparents are divorced. This is okay, as they divorced and my grandfather remarried before I was even born. The problem is that both refuse to come to my high school graduation if the other is there.... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: My Grandparents Are Making Me Choose Between Them

How to Speak Australian Slang

By Janet ManleyApril 25, 2012
Sometimes, as a native Australian, people don't understand me when I'm talking to them in the bonza ol'  U.S. of A. And it is true that occasionally I try to get in the driver's seat when a taxi pulls over to pick me up. And... More  →
How to Speak Australian Slang

Are These Animals Real or Fake? Guess.

By SparkLifeApril 25, 2012
1. Rascal 2. Potato owl 3. Cuscus 4. Liger 5. Tiglon 6. Three-toed snake 7. Jackalobe 8. Jackalope 9. Bleeding-tooth muskrat 10. Skate 11. Ghost walrus 12. Reverse cheetah 13. Whooping shark 14. Gulper eel 15. Goblin shark 16. Aquatic candor 17. Dragon 18. Dragonfish 19. Dragonfly 20. Dragondog 21. Hornless unicorn ANSWER IN THE COMMENTS AND THEN CHECK... THE ANSWER KEY! 1. fake 2. fake 3. real... More  →
Are These Animals Real or Fake? Guess.

Dippus and Dashing's Do's and Don'ts of First Dating

By Lauren PassellApril 25, 2012
Dippus and Dashing are best friends, but when it comes to dating, one of them is A-OK and one of them is a DISASTRO. Can you guess which one gets all the hot babes? Dashing brings cash on the first date so that no matter what... More  →
Dippus and Dashing's Do's and Don'ts of First Dating

If the Zombie Apocalypse Happened Tomorrow, I'd Totally Want You On My Team

By Chelsea DaggerApril 24, 2012
HULLO GENTLEBUTTS AND SCHOLARS! ("Gentlebutts" sounded creepier than I meant it to, but there's no turning back now.) I'm going to keep things short and sappy: today is my 2-year anniversary as a Sparkitor, and I want to thank you guys for making the last... More  →
If the Zombie Apocalypse Happened Tomorrow, I'd Totally Want You On My Team

The Secret Journal of Taylor the Emo Blender (April 24, 2012)

By RG DanielsApril 24, 2012
::sigh:: Springtime. I guess. I can’t stop looking at Ariel. She’s the most beautiful teapot I’ve ever seen. When she whistles it’s like a dozen birds are suddenly flying into the horizon, towards a setting sun that reminds me of what it’s like to... More  →
The Secret Journal of Taylor the Emo Blender (April 24, 2012)