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Four Ways to Walk In Late to Class

By ElodieApril 2, 2012
Let me guess—being late to class is the one thing you thought you could pretty much do on autopilot. There’s no trick to it. There’s no handbook. You simply stumble into class tardy, and suddenly all heads swivel in your direction, the teacher stops talking... More  →
Four Ways to Walk In Late to Class

Things We Would Love to Hear in Auto-Tune

By RG DanielsApril 2, 2012
Once there was a time when MacBooks and computer software were not considered musical instruments. Believe it or not, people played guitars and if you didn’t have the voice to sing, guess what? You didn’t sing!! All that has changed with Auto-Tune—a computer program... More  →
Things We Would Love to Hear in Auto-Tune

Marie Antoinette's Voicemail Greeting-and More!

By ContributorApril 2, 2012
So what if voicemail technology didn't exist the 70s? That shouldn't stop historical figures from having a voicemail greeting! Marie Antoinette: “Hi, I’m like, not here because I’m feeding cake to, like, poor people. So, like, leave a message! Au revoir!” Albert Einstein: “Albert Einstein, what’s your... More  →
Marie Antoinette's Voicemail Greeting-and More!

Who Was the Best Dressed at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards?

By Chelsea DaggerApril 2, 2012
HEY BUTTS, IT'S MONDAY! That exclamation point was a lie. No one is excited about Monday. Monday is the worst. Fortunately, the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards happened last night, which means I have loads of fancypants starlet photographs for you to gaze upon. Does that make Monday... More  →
Who Was the Best Dressed at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards?

How to Cope When Your Graduating Class Sucks

By ContributorApril 2, 2012
I am blessed (sarcasm) to belong to what is considered one of "the worst graduating classes" in the history of my school. This class is home to the groups of 16-year-olds who showed up at a football game so drunk a few of them puked... More  →
How to Cope When Your Graduating Class Sucks

How To Shake Off a Stalker

By ContributorApril 2, 2012
It's one of life's most pressing questions: how do I get rid of the creepozoid who's been following me all day? Well, wonder no further! Situation: On holiday. You're lounging on the sunny beaches of Madagascar (or if you're like me, shivering on a beach somewhere... More  →
How To Shake Off a Stalker

Hunger Games "Would You Rather?"s

By Lauren PassellApril 2, 2012
It's hard to make the Hunger Games even more challenging. Because... what could make battling to the death worse? Well, these things could. Would you rather... Be known as the fartiest tribute OR be the only one who can smell all the tribute’s farts and they smell so... More  →
Hunger Games "Would You Rather?"s

Auntie SparkNotes: I Kissed My Best Friend

By kat_rosenfieldApril 2, 2012
Psssst! Hey, Sparklers! The column will be on a brief hiatus while I take a mini Spring Break trip to sunny Florida. Don't be too sad; I'll be back with a new post on Thursday. —Auntie Dear Auntie Sparknotes, I am in desperate need of your help... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: I Kissed My Best Friend

8 Thoughts about Game of Thrones Season 2 Premiere

By Eric SiegelsteinApril 2, 2012
After a long and brutal winter filled with White Walker attacks (okay fine, I was watching The Walking Dead), Game of Thrones is finally back! When we last checked in with the competing houses of Westeros, the Starks were at war with the Lannisters, with... More  →
8 Thoughts about Game of Thrones Season 2 Premiere

The Host Teaser Trailer

By Josh PeriloApril 2, 2012
With the second half of Breaking Dawn getting ready to drop, Twihards around the world are preparing to mourn en masse. But I’m here to tell you, PULL IT TOGETHER! It’s not the end of the world. And, it’s not the end... More  →
The Host Teaser Trailer