Everybody wants to save the world, but a real messiah comes along only once every couple of millennia. The qualifications are pretty simple: moral virtue, public speaking ability, skill at carpentry, good hair, immaculate conception, a touch of divinity.

Sure you might have to suffer a few lashings, hang out on a cross for an afternoon, wake up in a cave with a four-day-old hangover from your last supper, but think of all the souls you get to redeem—your family, your friends, your dealer, the odd repentant CEO.