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Tips for Surviving Horror Movie Situations

By ContributorSeptember 27, 2011
dac213 tells you everything you need to know about living through your very own horror movie! (And we're sorry if this photo makes you barfy, but hey, man, you need to learn how to deal with it in order to SURVIVE.)—Sparkitors We've... More  →
Tips for Surviving Horror Movie Situations

The Ups and Downs of Black Hair

By ContributorSeptember 27, 2011
bobthespider adds another side to the Great Hair Debate: today, it's RED versus BLACK! Which color will win out in the end?—Sparkitors Where are my black-haired ladies and gents at? We've seen the pros and cons of having blonde hair,... More  →
The Ups and Downs of Black Hair

Rose's Relationship Guide, Part I: You Are a Potential Camel Murderer

By ContributorSeptember 27, 2011
Rose didn't get into the love advice game just for fun, guys: she's really tired of all the spontaneously combusting camels. –Sparkitors It's a proven fact that every time you have an awkward moment with your significant other, a camel bursts into flames. So... More  →
Rose's Relationship Guide, Part I: You Are a Potential Camel Murderer

The Great New York Lightsaber Battle of 2011

By Jennifer GrudzieckiSeptember 26, 2011
Only in New York City can hundreds of mature, full-grown adults dress up as Jedi and whack each other with plastic lightsabers for two hours. Luckily, I live in New York. On Saturday night I donned my Princess Leia buns and met up with a group... More  →
The Great New York Lightsaber Battle of 2011

The Phantom of the Opera is a Deformed Psychopath, and He STILL Gets More Kisses Than Me

By ContributorSeptember 26, 2011
purplepants' post made us laugh so hard that we may have broken a rib. It hurts. To breathe.—Sparkitors For years now, my most committed relationship has been between me and an 100-year-old story about a guy with a jacked-up... More  →
The Phantom of the Opera is a Deformed Psychopath, and He STILL Gets More Kisses Than Me

The Night of Shame: Dating Stupid McLoserPants, Part II!

By ContributorSeptember 26, 2011
Sunshine_AZ gives us the much-anticipated follow-up to her hilarious post about a crush gone awry! When we last left off, she'd just gotten home from a pretty horrible date—and received a totally unexpected text from the guy... More  →
The Night of Shame: Dating Stupid McLoserPants, Part II!

How to Make Your Lifeguard Like You

By ContributorSeptember 26, 2011
All_Is_Mal offers an etiquette guide for next year, while simultaneously torturing us with memories of summer days past.—Sparkitors There’s been a lot of hype on SparkLife about waiters—how you should treat them, how much you should tip them—and while I’m as nice to More  →
How to Make Your Lifeguard Like You

Ask a Teacher: Do You Ever Try to Set Students Up?

By Mr. TocheSeptember 26, 2011
Here's the complete question: Do you ever try to set students up? If not, do you make ideal pairings of students in your head? Not to repeat myself from my last column, but oh HELL no. Really, I'd rather lock myself in a coffin filled... More  →
Ask a Teacher: Do You Ever Try to Set Students Up?

The Subtle Nuances of Girl and Guy Bath Products

By Lucy HutchinsonSeptember 26, 2011
Have you seen that episode of The Simpsons where all the different brands of Duff beer come out of the same tube? That's what we imagine it's like at the Toiletries Factory. We're sure that all those shampoos, body washes, and toothpastes are pretty much... More  →
The Subtle Nuances of Girl and Guy Bath Products

Auntie SparkNotes: Sister Mary Know-It-All

By kat_rosenfieldSeptember 23, 2011
Dear Auntie, So here is my problem - my sister hates me. What's that you say? Too vague? Let me expand on that. I am 14 and my older sister is 20. I feel like now that I am a teenager and have started developing opinions and... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Sister Mary Know-It-All