It’s currently two o’clock in the morning, and that huge paper—you know, the one you found out about a month ago—needs to be handed in five hours and 53 minutes from now. What are you going to do about it? Procrastinate some more, of course!... More →
When it comes time to select your classes at SparkLife Academy, you may find it helpful to peruse the course list, which our house-elf has been so kind as to chisel on stone tablets for us. Unfortunately, these lists are housed... More →
You're a snowflake, a flower, an albino Aleut who freestyles and speaks Esperanto, and we love that about you.
With that said, it doesn't matter how unique you are; there are a few things that just about every college freshman... More →
First off, let me apologize for posting this week's Writer Wars column a day late. I think I have malaria, or maybe a sinus infection; either way, I took yesterday off so I could swig Nyquil straight from the bottle and practice coughing to the... More →
Welcome to Jono's SparkLife Academy class! Prepare to become pretentious. —Sparkitors
Due to a series of increasingly bad decisions, the thing I am most qualified to talk about is film studies, which is the discipline of explaining why no movies are any good and then... More →
Unless you're so deep in back-to-school hell that you're sweating ink, BeeHappy94's advice will brighten your day. –Sparkitors
So long as you don't live under a rock located in the deepest part of the ocean, right now you're being accosted by commercials claiming that... More →
carrieaimelire is one of the funniest new Sparklers on the block (and apparently also the clumsiest.) Check out her recent pants-hating post right here!—Sparkitors
High school students are famously uncoordinated. In almost every overdone Hollywood movie about teenagers,... More →
reicherroo ain't exactly Captain Hook, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying these swashbucklin' tunes. (We're using the word "enjoying" loosely, here.)—Sparkitors
Avast me hearties! Yo ho! Arrgh! …I’m sorry, I’m from suburbia. My experience with pirates is limited.... More →
Q: What kind of clothes do you wear outside of school?A: I wear a suit to school every day. To preserve a perception of authority, I wear that suit everywhere. That way, my students will never confuse or underestimate my level of authority… even if... More →
Dearest Sparklers, it has been unanimously decided that I, Megan Pretzel Prietzel the First, will hold the position of principal at SparkLife Academy. My Legolas poster and I were in total agreement. He also thinks I’m the prettiest girl in the world.
As your principal, I... More →