Skip over navigation

Worst-Case Scenario: The Sorting Hat Has Placed You in Slytherin

By ContributorOctober 18, 2011
somebody_else's_problem was sorted into Slytherin—so she immediately dyed her hair blonde and tried to kill Dumbledore.—Sparkitors Greetings, my fellow Sparklers and Manklers! I have a thrilling story to share with you all—a tale of betrayal, of tragedy, and ultimately, of survival.... More  →
Worst-Case Scenario: The Sorting Hat Has Placed You in Slytherin

Ask a Teacher: Dealing with Hover Parents

By Mr. JonesOctober 18, 2011
Q: How do you deal with hover parents who get angry at you or complain about your teaching methods? Do you ever treat the child of that parent differently afterwards, whether you mean to or not? A: A common question I get from my non-teacher friends... More  →
Ask a Teacher: Dealing with Hover Parents

Nerdfighter Vocab: This List Will Decrease World Suck

By ContributorOctober 18, 2011
talonsandtealeaves is about to expand your dork-vocabulary TENFOLD.—Sparkitors French the llama. Barty Couch Jr. The Swindon Town Swoodlypoopers. This Machine Pwns N00bs. This Star Won’t Go Out. TFiOS. Hanklerfish. If you recognized any of those words or phrases,... More  →
Nerdfighter Vocab: This List Will Decrease World Suck

The SparkLife Hierarchy

By ContributorOctober 18, 2011
The hilarious jtjuvenile breaks down our enormously complex social structure—and, unsurprisingly, Harry Potter gets the top spot. DAMN YOU, HARRY.—Sparkitors Every community has a pecking order, be it a gathering of wild beasts or the furiously competitive social pond... More  →
The SparkLife Hierarchy

Open Thread for October 18

By SparkLifeOctober 18, 2011
Take it away, Allison: This my dear Sparklebutts, is my cat, Rosie. She is extremely fat. So imagine my entertainment when I come home, set down my lunch box, and came back 2 minutes later to find her grasping my lunch like her life... More  →
Open Thread for October 18

Gorgeous Celeb Makeup Looks We Totally Want to Steal

By Chelsea DaggerOctober 17, 2011
Their money, for one thing. Their un-cankle-like ankles, for another. But more than anything (except for the money), we'd really like to steal their makeup. Celebs always look like shimmering Photoshopped versions of real people, and that is EXACTLY how we want to look, too More  →
Gorgeous Celeb Makeup Looks We Totally Want to Steal

Auntie SparkNotes: The Making of Out

By kat_rosenfieldOctober 17, 2011
Dear Auntie Sparknotes, I've noticed that a lot of people have been asking advice on what to do after a makeout session, but I'm confused as to the makeout session itself. Currently I have a boyfriend and I really want to make out with him but... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: The Making of Out

Four Infallible Approaches to Flirting

By ContributorOctober 17, 2011
jtjuvenile is an expert at seduction—sort of.—Sparkitors I would first like to point out that I’ve managed to squeeze a tetra-syllabic word into the title of this post. And yes, I’m going to use that fact to convince you that I am worthy... More  →
Four Infallible Approaches to Flirting

The Perks of Being in Ravenclaw (Even Though Hufflepuff Will Always Have My Heart)

By ContributorOctober 17, 2011
geetargrl59, a die-hard Hufflepuff, was recently sorted into the Ravenclaw house on Pottermore. Will she survive the shift, or will she bite the dust?—Sparkitors Okay, I'll admit that when I wrote that last article, I... More  →
The Perks of Being in Ravenclaw (Even Though Hufflepuff Will Always Have My Heart)

Party Like a Hipster: The 10-Step Plan

By ContributorOctober 17, 2011
kamurphy1218 presents the definitive guide to gettin' jiggy up in here, hipster-style. (Note: a true hipster would never use the phrase "gettin' jiggy up in here.")—Sparkitors So you're at a local coffee shop, and you meet these strange people dressed in cardigans and... More  →
Party Like a Hipster: The 10-Step Plan