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Auntie SparkNotes: Will My Sex Toys Make the TSA Suspicious?

By kat_rosenfieldSeptember 9, 2016
Dear Auntie, (Obligatory NSFW warning here. Nothing R-rated, but it would fit well in a crappy Adam Sandler PG-13 flick.) So Auntie, this past summer, I was in an internship, and my FWB came to visit me. We had sexy fun together, and then he gave me... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: Will My Sex Toys Make the TSA Suspicious?

The Harry Potter Movies Ranked By Hair

By ElodieSeptember 9, 2016
I have thoughts about hair, always. There is never a moment where I am not thinking critically about other people's hair, probably because mine is a chemically damaged rat's nest and a lost cause and I have to live vicariously. Additionally, I have many thoughts about... More  →
The Harry Potter Movies Ranked By Hair

I Was a(n Almost) Child Pageant Queen

By Kelly HoffmacherSeptember 9, 2016
Beauty pageants are a controversial hobby. Even though 250,000 young girls and women across the country participate, pageants draw ire because of the way girls are objectified and sexualized. It’s routine for contestants to wear false eyelashes, layers upon layers of make-up, hair extensions, and even... More  →
I Was a(n Almost) Child Pageant Queen

How Every Zodiac Sign Plays Pokemon Go

By Paulina BasSeptember 9, 2016
(& if you're wondering what your Zodiac sign has to do with how you play Pokémon Go, I see you, Capricorn.) More  →
How Every Zodiac Sign Plays Pokémon Go

Auntie SparkNotes: I Don't Like Jokes About Mental Illness

By kat_rosenfieldSeptember 8, 2016
Hello Auntie SparkNotes, I am an upcoming junior in high school who went to a small elementary school through K-8. There, I had a group of friends and we would tell each other EVERYTHING and we were together pretty much 24/7. As fate would have... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: I Don't Like Jokes About Mental Illness

September Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierSeptember 4, 2016
Sticks and stones may break your bones, Aries, but you can always grow more bones, with your blasphemous machinery! Don't actually tell anyone about this though. Your lucky stone this month is amethyst; your unlucky stone is regular stones. Your Courtesy Month tip is to alwa More  →
September Horoscopes!

Auntie SparkNotes: I Don't Want to Call My Parents Every Day at College

By kat_rosenfieldSeptember 2, 2016
Hello, Auntie! I'm going to my freshman year of college soon and my parents want me to call/text everyday. I don't want to. They say it is because they want to make sure I'm safe and not in an emergency. This could be a result of... More  →
Auntie SparkNotes: I Don't Want to Call My Parents Every Day at College

The Only Guide You Need to Survive the First Day of School

By Kate Allan and Chelsea DaggerSeptember 2, 2016
Unless your first name is Granger and your last name is Danger, odds are that you’re not super excited to head back to school. The first day can be a bit like the Hunger Games, in that you're terrified, your abrasive mentor has zero advice to offer, everyone hates yo More  →
The Only Guide You Need to Survive the First Day of School

I Went to College 3,000 Miles Away From Home & I Lived to Tell the Tale

By Maura Barry-GarlandSeptember 1, 2016
Leaving home for the first time is never easy, but it's particularly difficult when you're lugging a futon across state lines and saying goodbye to your parents till Christmas. I grew up in Fairbanks, Alaska, and went to school in New York City, two cities that... More  →
I Went to College 3,000 Miles Away From Home & I Lived to Tell the Tale

Old Presidential Campaign Slogans Ranked in Order of How Utterly Hilarious They Are

By ElodieSeptember 1, 2016
I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s an election coming up. People will tell you that THIS IS IT, THIS IS THE ONE—that we’ve finally reached peak election insanity and it's all coming to a head this November. But these people haven't been studying... More  →
Old Presidential Campaign Slogans Ranked in Order of How Utterly Hilarious They Are