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Blogging New Moon: Part 10

Blogging New Moon: Part 10

By Dan_Bergstein

Chapter Ten: The Meadow
Better Title: You scream. I scream. We all scream…for werewolves.

The chapter begins with Bella attempting to get in touch with Jacob. She keeps trying to...oh, the heck with this. By the end of the chapter there are werewolves! Real ones! And they are big, and scary, and amazing, and I want one! I would take it for walks and feed it children and everything! I would name him Murphy and he would be amazing! Werewolves are awesome! So very awesome! And they're as big as horses! And they eat vampires! And one of the wolves is black, but some aren't black, and they are ferocious. And I wish I were a werewolf!

Sorry.

I had to get that out of my system or else I'd be fidgeting in my chair while writing this, just itching to talk about werewolves. The chapter begins slowly, with Bella trying to track down Jacob to make sure he's feeling better. When no one answers his phone, she heads over to his house to check on him. But the house is empty. What's your favorite color werewolf? Mine is gray! Or maybe brown! Oh man, I can't pick! So awesome! Sorry. Sorry. I'll try to stay focused.

Out of desperation, she asks her dad to help her get some answers, and Charlie calls up his friend Harry Clearwater, who tells him that Jacob has mono. Jacob's dad took him to the doctor, and that's why their house was empty. Bella can't call him because they are having problems with the phone lines. Jacob's dad says that Jake's too weak for visitors, and since mono is a month-long ailment, this means Bella must go 30 days without a drop of Jacob. I'm worried that her brain will melt from sadness. Or she'll turn into Eeyore. But instead of being cute in a grumpy sort of way, this would be an Eeyore who cuts himself.

Bella decides that she will let Jacob rest for a week, not a month, and then go check on him and see what's really happening. By the way, if you got a saddle, you could probably ride werewolves, and that would save gas and end our dependence on foreign oil. And werewolves could eat burglars and chase away terrorists because werewolves are astounding.

Without Jacob around, Bella's dreams are getting scary again, or "hard," as she describes them. Does this mean her dreams are difficult to accomplish, or not easily chewable? Sometimes Sam Uley is in her nightmares, but most of the time it's just Bella alone in the woods. Werewolves live in the woods. But some probably live in houses. Murphy could stay in my house if he promised not to get the rug dirty. And he could sleep on my couch (the one I got from my pop-pop's house) because a werewolf wouldn't freak out about the fact that my pop-pop died on that couch. Werewolves are never afraid! And when he was in human form, we would play basketball and he would win because he has secret wolf powers.

The loneliness has caused a hole in Bella's chest. Because of the wording, it sounds as if she has real hole in her chest, which would be fun because on a windy day, she could whistle without using her lips.

She tells us, "I wasn't handling alone well." It makes one wonder what she can handle well. Bella overreacts. She treats every event in her life as if she's being eaten alive by monkeys. If the ice cream store ran out of her favorite flavor, she would probably run into the woods sobbing and compare herself to a burning orphanage. By the way, werewolves are better than ice cream because ice cream couldn't help you if a king cobra was about to strike. Plus, ice cream only lasts ten minutes at the most. Werewolves last forever.

Finally the week ends, and Bella's self-imposed Jacob ban is lifted. She rushes to call him, and says that if the phone lines are still down, she will go over to his house. Nothing can stop her from seeing him. Nothing! Except…

Jacob's dad answers the phone and says that Jacob didn't have mono, but some other, short-term virus, and he's feeling better now. The excited Bella asks if she can see him, but Billy says he's out with friends in Port Angeles. Uh-oh. Bella tries to hide her sadness, and hangs up the phone. Werewolves don't get sad because they're too busy eating vampires and keeping it real.

Bella's upset because Jacob didn't call her. And now she's at home, all alone. Or, as she puts it, "I was lonely, worried, bored…perforated." Perforated? So that sentence could also read, "I was lonely, worried, bored…lined with holes to allow for easy tearing." Makes sense.

After getting off the phone, Bella tells Charlie that Jacob didn't have mono. Charlie assumes that Bella will go over to Jacob's house, but she explains that he's busy. Charlie asks if she's okay. He's clearly worried that Bella will become Eeyore again. But she assures him that she's fine. To show her dad that she's not upset, she lies, because she's a liar, and tells him that she will study with Jessica today.

Charlie, who's going fishing again, reminds Bella to stay out of the woods because there have been more bear sightings, and even a missing hiker. Werewolves sometimes eat innocent people, but that's okay. Volcanoes kill lots of innocent people, and volcanoes are still terrific. Thus, werewolves are just like volcanoes, only better, because werewolves can stalk silently, unlike noisy volcanoes. And werewolves are easier to pet.

With Charlie gone for the day, Bella tries to think of ways to pass the time. She tosses around the idea of going to Jacob's house to get her motorcycle, but then reconsiders, because if she crashes her bike, no one will be around to take off his shirt in a sexy, manly way and then drive her to the hospital.

Instead, she decides to go looking for the hidden love-meadow again. She has the map that Jacob made, and figures out how to use his grid system and the compass. She knows that Charlie told her to stay out of the woods, but she doesn't listen. Just to recap Bella's character traits: she is an unhappy, lying, overreacting, disobedient, whining braggart who smells good and falls down often. Not since Hamlet has there been a character so deep, and it's no wonder that all the boys in Forks are falling for her.

Bella starts hiking through the forest, but after awhile, she begins to have trouble breathing. No, she's not out of breath because she's overexerting herself. Nor is she recovering from a breath-holding competition. It seems that the figurative hole in her chest, which was caused by sadness, has infected her lungs. Don't laugh. Pretend ailments brought on by exaggerated emotions are silent killers. My uncle was killed when he got so angry at the baseball umpire that steam shot out of his ears, critically scorching his brain.

To get her lungs working again, Bella tries her hardest to think happy thoughts, and destroy all the sad thoughts about Jacob and Edward. She hugs herself and tries to relax as she walks. Sometimes I hike through the woods with my arms folded across my chest too, but I do so with disdain, to show the squirrels that I don't agree with their lifestyle.

She continues hiking and eventually finds the meadow. And guess what. She doesn't like it. For two pages Bella complains that the meadow makes her feel sad and lonely. She collapses at the edged of the meadow and "gasps" either out of sadness or she read ahead and knows werewolves are about to show up and she can't handle the excitement.

Sitting in the meadow, Bella is feeling sorry for herself, and just when I think this chapter is going to be another Bella whine-a-palooza, Laurent pops up. Oh man. Things are about to get so completely wonderful.

Laurent was the evil vampire from the last book, until he became less evil. He ditched his evil leader James, but didn’t help the Cullens fight James either. So he's kind of a jerk and a pansy—basically, he's Edward, but with less-crazy hair. Bella recognizes him from across the meadow. He remembers her, and they have a tense conversation.

The last time we saw Laurent, he was heading to Tanya's vampire safe haven in Alaska. But now he's back in Forks. He just stopped by the Cullen house, and when he saw they had left, he was about to move on, but then he spotted Bella in the woods. He's surprised that Carlisle didn't bring her along with them, since he thought Bella was the Cullen's pet. (Murphy wouldn’t be my pet. He would be my equal.)

Bella gets a bit worried when she notices Laurent's eyes are still red. She thinks that good vampires all have golden eyes, and hoped that after living with the good vampires, Laurent's eyeballs would change color. If you think about this, Bella is prejudiced against the red-eyed vampire population. Not cool, Isabelly. Not cool.

When Laurent asks if the Cullens ever come back to visit, Dream Edward whispers to Bella and tells her to lie. (She shouldn't have a problem with that.) She says the Cullens stop by every once and a while. But Laurent says the house felt as if it had been empty for a long time. It's clear that he isn't such a nice guy. Dream Edward advises her to be a better liar.

She changes the subject and asks about his trip to Alaska. He says he liked Tanya, and Tanya's sister Irina. (Great, another name to keep track of. Is this Twilight, or Lord of the freaking Rings?) But he had to leave because he couldn't follow Tanya's "don't eat humans" rule.

Throughout the conversation, Dream Edward keeps giving Bella advice on what to say and how to act, knowing that Laurent could pounce at any moment. Bella asks about Victoria (finally!), the evil vampire from the last book who went missing and was never mentioned again until now. Laurent is now working for Victoria, and that's why he came to Forks. He's on a scouting mission, trying to find Bella for his new leader. He then says that Victoria will be upset with him, because he's hungry and is going to kill Bella before Victoria can even have a taste.

Quick, Bella. Let your hair down! It's your only hope.

Laurent makes a few sinister comments about how hungry he is. Dream Edward tells Bella to beg for her life in a last ditch effort to stop Laurent from killing her. But Laurent isn't persuaded.

Instead, he says Bella should be glad that he's going to kill her, because Vickie was going to torture Bella before killing her. Dream Edward roars as Lauren approaches. Bella squeezes her eyes shut and keeps repeating Edward's name in her mind. Before Laurent sinks his teeth into Bella, he suddenly stops and looks off into the woods saying, "I don't believe it." Oh man! Oh man! This is it! This is the best thing ever!

WEREWOLVES! Bella is shocked and terrified as a giant wolf emerges from the forest. She describes the wolf as being the size of a horse. Then four slightly smaller wolves follow the leader. The leader is black, and the others are different colors. I think the reddish one is Jacob. They don't seem too concerned with Bella, and instead set their sights on Laurent. There is no mention of jet-packs, so either these wolves don't have them, or we're just to assume they are wearing them.

Laurent is scared and begins backing away. Dream Edward tells Bella to remain perfectly still. Bella gasps, and the reddish wolf turns to look at her in a strange way. Laurent then tries to run away, and the wolves chase after him into the forest, leaving a bewildered, scared, and lucky Bella alone. (I was expecting her to go off on another, "Why did the vampire and wolves leave me? I hate being alone. No one likes me" rant.)

That's all the werewolf action we get in the chapter. But it was great to finally see them. And they saved the day! They aren't what I pictured in my mind (I was thinking more of wolf-man looking creatures), but this is pretty cool too, even if it means I'll have to rework my fan-fiction novella, currently titled "Werewolf Jacob Easily Opens Jars."

Bella doesn't understand why Laurent would be so frightened of big dogs. In her mind, the wolves were no match for Laurent's speed, strength, and teeth. But this is because she is dumb and doesn't know that they weren't just big dogs. They were werewolves!

She doesn't make the connection between these wolves and the stories about werewolves that Jacob told her in the first book. This is odd, because you'd think after seeing gigantic wolves chase a vampire, you'd put two and two together and realize that they were werewolves. It's like someone telling you that the tooth fairy is real, and then, when you see a glowing, winged woman put a dollar under you pillow, you just assume it's your mom's friend Linda stealing teeth.

Bella gets up and hurries out of the forest, fearful that the wolves will return and eat her. It's later than she thought, and when she gets home, her dad is waiting for her. He's shocked to see her covered in mud and looking haggard, and Bella, for the first time in her life, decides to tell the truth (well, most of the truth.)

She admits to going hiking in the woods and says she saw the giant creature. She tells her dad it's not a bear, but a wolf, and it's not just one wolf, but five wolves. Charlie calls the police station to let them know about the wolves, and then talks with Bella again. He says he saw Jacob today at the store. He waved to him, but he didn't wave back; he was busy arguing with one of his friends.

Bella assume that Jacob was yelling at Embry for joining Sam Uley's gang. She's glad that Jacob finally confronted Embry, and thinks this was why he didn't call her. He needed to handle this on his own. So she's less mad at him.

But Bella is now worried about Victoria, and what would happen if she came to her house. To help herself relax, she thinks about the giant wolves and how scared they made Laurent. She hopes that the wolves killed him, because then Victoria will never know that Bella was left unprotected by the Cullens.

The thought of being tortured by Victoria causes Bella to scream into her fist, and the chapter ends.

Prediction: Bella is still left alone, but rides her motorcycle anyway. Suddenly Dream Edward shouts at her for being stupid. But then Dream Jacob tells Dream Edward to back off. The following conversation takes place in Bella's head.

DREAM EDWARD: Hey, Dream Jacob, this isn't any of your business.
DREAM JACOB: Well, I'm making it my business.
DREAM EDWRAD: Oh yeah?
DREAM JACOB: Yeah!
DREAM EDWARD: [Slaps Dream Jacob]
DREAM JACOB: [Punches Dream Edward in the neck.] How do you like me now? Huh? Huh? Yeah, that's what I thought, punk.
DREAM EDWARD: Ugh.
DREAM MIKE: Hey guys, what's going on? Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies…

Dream Edward and Dream Jacob then take turns beating up Dream Mike.

So much more Dan is at your fingertips in the form of blog posts, tweets, and one very awesome Facebook group!

Topics: Books
Tags: blogging twilight, cartoons, blogging new moon

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