Remember Thagsana? Of course you do! She's BACK in full effect. Yay! —SparkNotes editors
Ahh, summer, the light at the end of every student's tunnel. After nearly a year of staying up late to finish semi-pointless schoolwork, ignoring a teacher's wave in the halls in an effort to avoid the mortifying "her-teacher-is-her-best-friend" label, and putting up with gag-inducing cafeteria specials such as "Crunchy Tuna Surprise," summer has never felt so good. That is, of course, unless you're sitting in summer school. [Cue the horror music.]
Instead of frolicking amongst the flowers while singing Grease's "Summer Nights," summer-schoolers enjoy a...different lifestyle than that of out-of-schoolers. By different, I mean different in all senses:
1. Sense of Smell
Following their usual twelve-hour slumber, out-of-schoolers generally take their sweet time, cooking up some good ol' summer specials. From blueberry pancakes to bacon and eggs, anything's possible in the kitchen of an out-of-schooler. After all, there's no rush to get to school! Meanwhile, summer-schoolers are inhaling the scent not of pancakes or bacon, but of the seven-month-old raspberry gum wedged beneath their desks. Mmm, fuitylicious.
2. Sense of Sight
Friend #1: "It looks like a monkey eating an apple."
Friend #2: "Nah, dude, that is totally Michael Jackson in the Thriller!"
Friend #3: "Actually, friends, I believe that is a Cumulonimbus Incus Cloud." *smiles smugly*
Cloud watching. No summer is complete without it. Out-of-schoolers lie on the ground in an open field—complete with smiling flowers, scented butterflies, talking animals, and the like—looking up at the sky and letting their imaginations run wild. The only thing summer schoolers are looking up at is a 40-inch chalkboard covered in notes on The Laws of Physics. Fascinating.
3. Sense of Hearing
What summer is complete without the distinctive music of the ice cream truck? Just the sound of this jingle, like a Batman call sign in the sky, causes out-of-schoolers to stop dead in their tracks, grab all the change they can find within an arm's length, and bolt out the door at speeds faster than that of a cheetah who's spotted his prey. In comparison, summer-schoolers hear only the sound of their fuming teachers screaming their names from across the room when they doze off in the middle of a lesson on limits, derivatives, and integrals.
4. Sense of Touch
With the outbreak of new summer trends, the only things out-of-schoolers seem to be touching are their wallets. I mean, who could resist buying those cute summer shorts that don't make your butt look fat?! But for summer-schoolers, "touching" is an understatement. It's more along the lines of "hold-on-for-dear-life-unless-you-prefer-flattened-toes." Of course, we're referring to that twenty pounder of a textbook that sits ever so comfortably in their arms, backpacks, and laps on the ride home. Simply fantastic.
5. Sense of Taste
Ahh, barbeques. What better way to spend an afternoon than sitting on one's porch, enjoying a hot-off-the-grill meal? That, my friends, is the sweet and spicy life of our out-of-schoolers. But sadly, summer-schoolers aren't eating shish kabob for lunch; they're stuck with the cafeteria, and the nearest fast-food joint is an hour's walk away. Well, when all is lost, one can always settle for a stick of revolting beef jerky at Ernie's Gas Station...whoever Ernie is. *shifty eyes*
Are you a summer-schooler or an out-of-schooler? Isn't it nice to have Thagsana back?
By: Thagsana_R
Topics: Life
Tags: food, ice cream, summer school
Become a fan on Facebook »
Follow us on Twitter »
»
