Music is a powerful ally—for example, a Sparkler once claimed if a guy played Coldplay on a date, she would “crawl across the table and makeout with him right there.” (The power of soft rock!!)
The connection between music and romance has been addressed before, but what about music and friendship? What songs and bands can you use to pump up your friends when they’re being lame? And what's the best tune to put on when you're tired of hanging out and want your friend to leave?
Here are some tips for subtly controlling your friends like a rock ‘n’ roll puppet master. Put these songs on your iPod and use as directed.
Pump your friends up!!
It’s Friday night but your friends are acting duller than a goldfish. For some reason they seem content to lie around someone’s bedroom and watch youtube videos you’ve all seen before. But it’s FRIDAY NIGHT and you want to go out and cause a commotion! Glam rockers Slade are your best bet. Their song “Cum on Feel the Noize” (the original and much better version) has been scientifically proven to make teenagers go crazy and tear up the town. It’s even been known to induce some teens to “paint the town red.” Oh my! Harness the invigorating power of this song and make your friends get wild wild wild!!
If that doesn’t work, there is, of course, “Eye of the Tiger.”
Asking for a favor
You really wanna go to the movies. But you also have zero dollars. Or maybe you need a car ride somewhere. But you have no car. One of your friends, however, has money and/or a car. Before you ask him to lend a hand, put on some brotherly love hippie music to get him in a generous mood. “Get Together” ("Come on people now, smile on your brother"), “Lean on Me,” or even the slightly obvious "With a Little Help from My Friends" should do the trick. Fill your friend's ears with the spirit of togetherness and then ask him to buy your ticket to "Transformers."
Why so serious?
It’s hard being around a friend when she’s stressed out and taking life too seriously. You try to talk her through her problems but words just aren’t enough. You know what will cure her blues? Timon and Pumbaa singing “Hakuna Matata.” Their problem-free philosophy means no worries for the rest of your days.
Getting your friend to dump his/her girlfriend/boyfriend
Even the smartest people can make the worst decisions when it comes to dating; attraction makes you overlook irritating flaws in others. You, however, are sick of having to hang around with your friend and his/her boring/judgmental/inherently evil sig other. Thank God for Usher and “Burn.” This song makes breaking up sound so romantic and sexy! “Burn” is such an influential song, it makes single people want to get an S.O. just to dump 'em.
Stop complaining!
Your friend is bummed out because she got a D on the test she didn’t study for. Another friend is sad because he’s not dating the girl he doesn’t have enough nerve to speak to. You’re sick of hearing them whine, but you can’t say this outright. So let the Rolling Stones do the talking: “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”
I think it's time for you to leave...
You’ve been hanging out with your friend all day and desperately yearn for some quiet time. Asking a friend to leave is awkward because it implies you are sick of her, but truthfully, all you want is to be alone for a while. How can you get across the message that she should go? Put on something really annoying.
What is the most annoying “leave my house now” song on your iPod? What other kinds of music do you use to influence your friends?
By: Joe_Lynch
Topics: Music
Tags: annoying things, friendships, music mixes
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