Last month, a Belgian teenager claimed she'd gone to a tattoo parlor to get three stars tattooed on her face, fallen asleep during the procedure, and awoken to discover this result instead.
Drifting off while needles are plunged into your cheeks? Uhhhh, yeah. Obviously, she was lying. (And who could blame her? Her dad flipped out when he saw her face, and she panicked.)
We know lying is a part of life. But some lies are bigger than others and, as the tattoo-chair-napper shows, some lies are worse than others. Sparklers, to save you time and effort, here is a list of other excuses parents can see right through:
I don’t have any homework.
There is always homework. And chances are your parents can see through all your fake supporting evidence, from “The teacher didn’t give us any” and “I did it all on my walk home” to “It’s not due until I graduate” and “Aliens abducted Miss Lipton.” You may as well say the dog ate your homework assignment.
We didn’t get our report cards yet.
This can never work because parents have built-in sensors that alert them when report cards are coming out. They wake up at the crack of dawn on report card day, arms outstretched like zombies, chanting “Report Card Day, Report Card Day” while their heads spin around.
All the other parents said yes.
This was a foolproof excuse right up until the invention of the telephone. There’s nothing more embarrassing than your mother calling up your friend Kate’s mother to ask if Kate is really allowed to go on a trip to the Bahamas. Now you and Kate will both end up sitting at home playing checkers while the rest of your friends swim with dolphins and work on their tan lines.
Mom said I could.
The divide-and-conquer strategy only works in spy films. In real life, parents are the ultimate Intelligence unit. They always know what's going on. If you tell one parent that the other already granted your request, all they have to do is open your Intelligence file and they will see “Attend party at Steve Allenby’s” marked with a red DENIED stamp.
I don’t know what happened.
This excuse is the first part of the lie. The second part is something like, “I think the fender was already hanging off before I took the car out” and “Wasn’t that hole always in the living room wall?” Unless you’re in wizard school, skip the “Who, me?” line before you find yourself saying you slept through a full-face tattoo.
Sparklers, do you have your own embarrassing and outrageous lie stories to share? Confess them in the comments.
By: Rupinder_Gill
Topics: Life
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