SparkNotes

The Waiting Game (Giant Sunglasses Not Included)

Sparkler thelionking has some creative ideas about how to pass time while you're waiting for your life to start (aka when you finally get your license.) Enjoy! —SparkNotes Editors

Ah, summer.  That wondrous time of year when the birds are singing, school is out, and everybody has their freakin’ driver’s license but you.

You are still languishing in the passenger seat of mom’s Volvo, which, contrary to Stephenie Meyer’s beliefs, is not sexy or cool in any way. But the lameness of the station wagon isn’t the worst part. The worst part of not being able to drive is waiting.

Whether you’re waiting on mom to pick you up from practice or waiting at the movies because your BFF is always late, it sucks. Not only are you stuck with nothing to do, you’re stuck having other people watch you have nothing to do. No matter what you do, you’re going to look like a loser, right?

Wrong. Here are 3 foolproof ways to look like someone with a life while you’re waiting for…whatever.

1. Text

You’re a teenager. Adults expect teens to be constantly texting, so when they see you jabbing at your phone, they assume you’re exhibiting normal, non-loserish behavior. To other teens, you'll just blend in with the zillions of fellow texters they see every day.

Best part: No one can see what you’re doing, so if you only have 3 texts left this month because stupid dad thinks 500 is enough, just fake it.
Worst part: You still feel like a loser.

2. Talk on the phone
Assuming all your licensed friends are too busy driving somewhere awesome to talk to you, make it sound like you’re talking to whomever you’re waiting for (“No, you dummy, turn right at Franklin St.”), or like you’re waiting for something cool (“Okay, but remember it’s a surprise party. Don’t tell her where you’re taking her!”), or like you are really amazingly cool (“Oh, Ashton, I’d love to, but I already have plans with Orlando tonight. Maybe next time.”).  Or you can just talk gibberish and hope people think it’s a different language.

Best part: You might actually enjoy yourself.
Worst part: You might forget to turn off your ringer.

3. iPod
Pretty simple. Plug in and zone out. Bonus points if anyone near you can hear the bass line.

Best part: You actually forget that you feel like a loser.
Worst part: No one will come talk to you, including the cute boy you were secretly ogling.

And the very best solution, which is only to be used in an emergency situation at least three states away from where you live…

4. Go crazy
Yes, for serious. Talk to yourself about your designs for your death ray, dance around and sing "It’s a Small World After All," yodel, ask a random stranger if they’ve ever eaten boiled meerkat and what it tastes like, throw dirt and rocks, or impersonate a giraffe.

Best part: You’ll have fun, and when mom finally gets there, she’ll be so embarrassed she might actually buy you a car when you get your license.

Worst part: The lady in the red hat is your friend’s mother’s cousin’s volleyball coach, and she will recognize you. Also, your mom’s not going to buy you a car out of embarrassment.

Note: All of the above work better with big, ridiculous sunglasses, because (a) no one can tell it’s you and (b) they’ll hide your flaming cheeks.

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By: Contributor

Topics: Music

Tags: sparkler posts, cell phones, texting, driving, iPods

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