One very witty British Sparkler has to get something off her chest. And no, it's not a tunic. bellacally writes about the differences between being a teen in the US and the UK, and some oh-so-annoying habits us Americans never knew we had! —SparkNotes Editors
“Does anyone here speak Amglish? Bramerican?”
As a teenager in England, it’s hard to escape Americanisms. We watch American TV programmes (that’s TV "shows"). We watch American films at the cinema (that’s "movies" at the…well, "movies"). And from time to time we read American books (I’m assuming that’s still "books," right?) As such, American lingo is inescapable for us Brits.
Sure, you can blame us for being too lazy to produce our own TV, but our broadcasters don’t get the same exorbitant funding that yours do, and on top of that yours are usually better. And besides, we gave you Shakespeare! And The Office! And HARRY POTTER! What else do you want from us?
So here for all to see are the Americanisms that we teenaged Britons use every day (with translations into traditional English).
American: Awesome!
English: Excellent!
Mean Girls has a lot to answer for (re-launching Lindsay Lohan’s career being just one), and the word “fetch” is no exception. “It’s, like, slang. From…England.” Let me tell you, it’s not. Excellent, good, great, lovely, spiffing. NOT FETCH.
American: Sup, brah? Give me some skin!
English: Good afternoon, Pamela. Where should I leave my bonnet? I’d kiss your cheek but we are British. We only show affection to dogs and horses.
OK, so we shake hands and stuff, but it’s true that this touchy-feely thing is an American phenomenon. We don’t do that “respect” hug thing or that chest bumpy manoeuvre (yes, manoeuvre, not maneuver) that everyone seems to do in American “movies.”
American: Pass the soda!
English: Would you be so kind as to pass the tea?
Uh…ok, not. It would be more along the lines of, “You couldn’t get the Coke bottle down here, could you?” but needless to say we don’t use the word “soda” unless we are discussing “bicarbonate of.” We don’t say “fizzy pop” either, just for the record.
American: I need to use the bathroom.
English: I’m just going to pop to the loo…
American: All right, peace out, y’all.
English: All right, then. Bye everyone.
Suffice to say us English people are generally a fairly formal lot. By that I don’t mean stuffy and posh. Well...I don’t JUST mean stuffy and posh, because we can be…but we also have our chavs. And in case you don’t know what a "chav" is, look up Little Britain and find out who Vicky Pollard is. And yes, there are really people like that in England. We try to get them deported, but apparently it’s unethical.
Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the spellings that Americans get WRONG. (Yes, wrong. I’m not quibbling. We used them first–we know how to spell them!)
American: Favor, flavor, color, savor.
English: Favour, flavour, colour, savour.
I attribute this discrepancy to sheer laziness. Which also accounts for your failure to pronounce the “h” in herbs. It’s there for a reason. I suppose that both of these are forever stuck in American jargon but heaven knows where you’ll all be if you keep dropping letters all over the place. Actually, I’ll tell you: You’ll be up shi cree without a padd.
Interested in writing for SparkLife this summer? Send your submissions to contribute@sparknotes.com, along with your nickname!
By: Contributor
Topics: Life
Tags: sparkler posts, england, language, grammar
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