Yeah, it's cool to go on an all-expenses-paid vaca. But the family vacation also carries some hefty burdens: number one being your parents, with your pesky sibs coming in a close second. Everyone piles into the mini-van for what's supposed to be a wonderful, eye-opening trek across America, but it soon turns into a marathon of "Don't make me turn this car around..." Or maybe your family will spare you the torture of endless "I spy" games and you'll fly somewhere exotic, like Indiana or Nebraska.
Either way, you won't be able to escape your mom ceaselessly reading out loud from travel guides and your dad mumbling while he futzes with his new camera. It's a recipe for insanity! But there are some ways to manage your psychological well-being. There's the obvious well-stocked iPod, of course, but there are a few other ways to keep family screaming matches at bay. Here's what you can do:
The seat swap: (note—this tip hasn't been approved by the FAA) While everyone's waiting for your delayed flight at the airport, scope out someone who looks cool and easygoing—maybe someone traveling alone, sitting quietly reading a book. Surreptitiously, without your parents noticing, approach this person and ask if it would be possible to change seats once you board the plane. When your parents ask why your seat assignment is mixed up, say, "Oh, I don't know. Must'a been a computer thing. No worries, I don't mind. Don't want to cause a fuss." You'll be far from your fam for an entire flight without causing any ripples. Of course, you will have to make do with whatever stranger is sitting next to you.
Become the family photographer: As usual, your mom will want photos of every moment of this trip. Every 5 minutes she'll ask you to get close to your family and smile! for the camera. If you take charge at the beginning of the trip, you can avoid looking like a sourpuss in every photo (yeah, we're talking about you, AC DC fan). Tell your parents that you've taken an interest in photography and that you'd love to document the vacation. They'll think you've developed an artistic hobby and won't realize you're simply staving off future embarrassment.
Get "forgotten" at home: Macauley Culkin had the right idea, even if Kevin McCallister's parents left him at home by accident.
Enlist a personal assistant: Instead of letting your kid brother or sister bother you, create a game out of "letting" them help you with everything—from tying your shoes to carrying your luggage. Your parents will be so excited that you're getting along that they won't even realize you're breaking child labor laws.
Keep a journal: You may be out of cell range, so texting your friends about all the ridiculous things your family is doing might have to wait till you return to civilization. But if you keep a written log, you'll have plenty of fodder for the "quotes" section of your Facebook page when you get back. And while tracking the number of times your brother farts and says, "Whoever smelt it delt it," you can also count down the number of hours, minutes, and seconds until you see your friends again. Just don't get so wrapped up in writing that you miss all that wonderful Indiana scenery!
How do you plan to survive this summer's round of family vacations?
Topics: Life
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