At first glance these two words probably seem to have an identical meaning, but they are really quite different. Being unpopular means genuinely not being liked and being labeled a social pariah of some persuasion, whereas if you just aren't popular, no one really cares one way or another. You just don't run with that crowd, although they probably don't dislike you at all.
I had always dreamed of being on the dance team, and when I finally made the squad at the end of freshman year, I was beyond elated. I would get to dance and compete, and it would be awesome! But I hadn't considered one detail: All the other girls were considerably higher up on the high school social ladder than I was.
I had a few popular friends, but not on this level, and I was going to spend time with these girls on a daily basis. They gossiped about house parties and boyfriends and all the drama of their lives, and I had nothing to contribute. I wasn't a part of that world. I felt awkward and somehow unqualified to be part of the group, even though my dancing was just as solid as anyone else's.
Even if I wanted to be their friend, it wasn't going to happen. I couldn't relate to their party-all-the-time ways, and they couldn't relate to my devoted studying. But they were never mean, and even if they talked behind my back (and, of course, they must have), I never sensed that they disrespected me. I just wasn't one of them.
To be honest, I didn't know how to deal with it any other way beside ignoring the situation as best I could, although it did bother me at times. I wanted them to really like me, but I wasn't about to compromise who I was for their approval.
Have you ever been in this sort of situation and, if so, how did you deal?
Topics: Life
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