Skip over navigation

Blogging Twilight: Part 3

Blogging Twilight: Part 3

By Dan_Bergstein

Dan Bergstein, SparkLife contributor extraordinaire, is reading Twilight and blogging about it.

Need to read the first installments? Catch up here.

Chapter Four
Bella dreams she is trying to catch up with her dream boy, but can't. For the record, I hate dream sequences in books, movies, and TV shows (David Lynch films excepted). It's a very lazy way to tell a story, and the dreams are always prophetic...and boring.

My dreams are never profound. They're usually about taking math tests and mowing the carpet. Unless...of course! The carpet represents my innermost desire and the lawnmower symbolizes my other innermost desire!

Bella quickly summarizes the month that follows: Edward ignores her. She ignores him. Meanwhile, everyone else at the school is in love with her. There's an upcoming "Girl's Choice" spring dance, which causes a bit of high school drama. Do schools still hold such girls-ask-the-guys dances? I thought they only existed in the 1950s and in movies.

Mike wants Bella to ask him to the dance, but Bella's friend Jessica is going to ask Mike to the dance. Mike then asks Bella if Bella is going to ask him to the dance...and then I lost interest. To let all the guys down easy, Bella tells everyone that she's going to Seattle the weekend of the dance.

Edward finally apologizes for being rude, but Bella is not listening. She wants the truth. He explains that they can't be friends, and she goes off on the whole "You should have let me die" rant.

Eric the nerd asks Bella if she's going to the dance, and she shoots him down. Presumably, Eric goes home and listens to Linkin Park to ease his pain.

Bella heads home, thinks about Edward, and cooks chicken. The next day, Edward approaches her in the parking lot and asks if she needs a ride to Seattle next week. Of course, she accepts his offer. (Note to readers: Letting spooky, schizophrenic boys drive you to a major city leads to your tragic story being made into a Lifetime Original Movie. Consider this your warning.)

Prediction: Eric will try to impress Bella with his World of Warcraft character. Bella will say, "Oh, that's nice." Eric will misinterprets this comment and run home to tell his mom he finally has a girlfriend. Poor, poor Eric.

Want more Dan on Twilight? Here you go.

Topics: Books
Tags: twilight, blogging twilight, cartoons

Write your own comment!