As anyone who has watched a teen movie can profess, the single most important thing to consider during a date is… what? Clothes? Sparkling conversation? Not burping?
NO. The background music. It sets the tone for the entire night—MGMT in the car for a poppy, fast-paced night on the town, Modest Mouse in the basement while you imitate your history teacher, or maybe “Purple Rain” for that awkward, exciting first make-out session.
However, if the wrong song comes up on your iPod shuffle—like some hardcore gangsta rap or an early Dylan protest song—you’re in trouble. It would probably be better to have your mom come in and share photos of you covered in chocolate cake as a two-year-old.
Here are five songs to avoid on a date at all costs:
“Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
This is pretty much the equivalent of walking into a room naked. You’re letting it all out. Have some subtlety. Instead of playing a song that basically says, “I’m horny,” try something like Amy Winehouse—it’s sexy but not cheesy like this one.
“I Kissed a Girl” by Kate Perry
This song isn’t rebellious, nor is it hot. It’s just someone whining about girl-on-girl action to get attention. It might have worked on the Billboard Hot 100 but it isn’t going to work on a date. I mean, it might be okay background music, but then you have to answer the question: “Wait, do you actually go out of your way to listen to Kate Perry?”
Anything by Barry White
Just…. no. Barry’s “sensual” baritone is so obvious whoever you’re with will laugh in your face. Actually, that’s the best you could hope for. Especially since he did those Arby’s commercials a while back: No one wants to be reminded of curly fries and roast beef while making out. And if they do, you probably don’t want to be around them.
Anything by Eminem
Nothing against Marshall, but his nasally rap voice and his ADD tendency to talk about twenty different subjects in one song doesn’t help anyone relax. And hearing him fantasize about attacking his ex-wife or downing mushrooms will not ease the awkward tension of a first or second date. His energy level is commendable, but it’s just too much—kind of like if you brought your kid brother with you on a date after he snorted a bag of Pixie sticks.
“Crank That (Soulja Boy)” by Soulja Boy Tell 'Em
Considering everyone—including your grandma—has gotten wind of the Soulja Boy Dance, and considering everyone—including your grandma—can do the dance better than Soulja Boy himself, it’s time to throw this one in the trash. Some songs are meant to be huge and then entirely forgotten. And nothing says turn-off like the line “Superman that ho.” Ugh.
“Speed of Sound” by Coldplay
Sure, this song won’t embarrass you and it won't offend anyone. But it IS likely to put your date to sleep faster than a Monday morning pre-calculus lecture.
Any horror stories of the wrong song playing during a date? And what's the worst tune you can think of for a smooch session?
By: Joe_Lynch
Topics: Music
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