I Reject Your Rejection Letter
Waiting for a college acceptance or rejection letter usually goes a little something like this:
- Race home after school to find your mail hasn't arrived yet.
- Stare at the mailbox as if said mail might miraculously appear out of nowhere.
- Rejoice at the arrival of the post-person.
- Rush to grab mail from post-person's hands.
- Rifle through mail.
- Repeat every day until letter arrives, at which point...
- Weigh envelope in your hands to guess how heavy it is (heavy is good), finally work up the courage to rip open envelope without damaging any precious info inside, read letter ("Dear Applicant, We regret to inform you..."), curl up in fetal position until will to live has returned.
Rejection letters suck. No one likes to be the bearer of bad news (or do they)? What makes a rejection letter suck more is when you realize it was dashed off anonymously and sometimes callously in response to an application that took you hours, days, even months of soul-searching to write. We at SparkNotes think it's about time college admissions offices got a taste of their own medicine. We present the Rejection Letter to the Rejection Letter.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I was ____________ to discover in my ___________ the other __________ a letter from _______________ informing me that I would not be matriculating with the class of __________ at your ____________ institution . While you evidently were not impressed with my ___________, _____________, or ____________ , or the application essay about _______________ that took me ________ __________(s) to write and caused me great _______________, I am equally unimpressed with your ____________ method of informing me of your decision.
Upon ____________ reflection, the ___________ truth is that I find your students ____________ , your professors ______________, and your campus ___________. I would rather ______________ my _________________ than attend your ___________ institution. My _______________ actually made me apply. I hereby reject your rejection letter and withdraw my application. Good day, Sir or Madam.
Most __________ly Not Yours,
Feel free to be creative. That's right. Let it out. Shhhh (imaginary back rub in a comforting not creepy way). Let it out.