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On last night's LOST, we learned that The Island, and the Others, are strict about the enforcement of rules. And apparently, the smoke monster acts as some kind of judge/jury/executioner. (In our mind, Smokey sits on a lifeguard chair, twirling a whistle as he lazily watches over the cast.)

For example, Charles Widmore broke the rules by leaving the Island to hug and kiss (and have babies with) non-Island women. That's a no-no, so he got the boot.

If you're ever going to be an Other, you'd better start studying up on their rules now. We've compiled a few of the most essential:

  1. No Straightforward or Sensible Explanations
  2. No Sunburns
  3. No Running. Only Sneaking and Lurking Permitted
  4. No Smoking (Unless you are made of smoke.)
  5. Unless You’re the Leader or Richard Alpert, You Must Hang Around in the Background Looking Kind of Dirty
  6. No Singing
  7. No Dancing
  8. Whispering Must be Creepy, and Not in a Gossipy, "I think so-and-so is cute" Sort of Way
  9. Torches Must Never Start Forest Fires
  10. Killing Your Dad is OK
  11. You Must Protect the Island At All Costs Because…Um, See Rule #1
  12. No Asking Richard if He's Wearing Eyeliner
  13. No Gum
  14. No Baseball Hats or Baggy Pants
  15. No Cursing (This one also applies to the plane crash survivors. How else can you explain the lack of swearing in situations that would normally elicit all manner of sailor talk?)
  16. Please Recycle (Don't let abandoned Dharma stations go to waste)
  17. No Innocence Allowed After the Age of 12
  18. Must Be Willing to Infiltrate and Kidnap
  19. Be Nice to Ethan. He's the Key to Everything
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