When you’re writing your application essays, it’s hard to believe that an actual person will read them. You vaguely feel that something faceless, generic, and non-human will judge your merits—the college steps, maybe, or the library, or the glossy professors in the brochures.
Of course, real people do read your essays, and it’s imperative to write for real people. What does that mean? Take a look at these excerpts from essays sent in by SparkNotes readers:
Excerpt 1: I believe that I would be a great addition to the University of [redacted] campus because of my desire to succeed and do everything to the best of my ability. I have involved myself in many activities that truly test how far I am willing to work and can push myself. The truest test of my dedication was tested and epitomized in cross country.
Excerpt 2: The conditioning was one of the hardest thing I had ever done. We ran laps around the baseball field, the parking lot, and the track. Because I was completely out of shape, every day was like hardcore military boot camp to me.
The first excerpt is just fine. It stresses the writer’s good qualities and sets up an example. But because it talks in abstractions, it might make a sleepy, cranky reader glaze over a bit. In contrast, the second example is fun to read. It puts us on the scene, huffing around the track with the writer. We can draw two lessons here:
Questions for me? Email advice@sparknotes.com; put Ask Miss Marm in the subject line. Disclaimer: because of the volume of submissions, I can’t get back to everyone. Turnaround time is anywhere from 24 hours to four days.
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