For years, the boundary between the sexes at colleges has been getting fuzzier and fuzzier. First, there was the strict, “No boys allowed in the girls’ dormitories!” policy, with security guards monitoring closely and guys trying to beat the system (hello, perfect teen comedy plot). Then came the coed dorm buildings, with girls on some floors and boys on the others. Everyone seemed happy, as you had the opposite gender close, but not too close. Then came the scandalous coed floors! Boys across the hall! Girls in bathrobes! People adjusted, some happily, some not, and life was good. And now, horror of horrors, we have coed dorm rooms! A boy and a girl, living together! Shock! Scandal! Despair! But is it really such a crazy idea?
There are a few different angles to look at. One primary reason for the new coed arrangement sweeping the nation (Swarthmore, Hampshire College, and Clark University have adopted it, to name only a few) is to make homosexual students more comfortable. The traditional living arrangement for them (same sex) is as uncomfortable as a coed situation might be for others. This way, the option is there, and everyone can be happy (except for parents, of course).
Ah, parents. Finding out your sweet, innocent Mary Jane is going to be sharing sleeping quarters with someone named John can be quite a shocking and scary idea. However, many students eventually convince their parents that their best friend just happens to be of the opposite gender, that there is nothing sexual going on, and that they just gel really well. (That’s not to say that some couples won’t take advantage and room together, fulfilling every parent’s worst nightmare, but the same is true for homosexual couples under the old system.) Why live with a catty female roommate when you can live with your best (male) friend? I know that I’ve generally gotten along far better with my male friends than female friends on a day in, day out basis. If the option had been there to live with a close male friend in college, I just might have taken it. (My alma mater being a Catholic college, that will probably never happen.)
What it all boils down to is that there is one more choice out there. Just as there are international floors, computer science floors, alcohol-free floors, and single-sex floors, now there are coed rooms. It doesn’t mean you have to use the option, but for someone else it might be the perfect fit.
Do you think coed dorm rooms are a good or a bad idea?
Photo credit: Jessica Hill (AP)
I personally have strong moral convictions and, in that context, I believe more problems will arise from having co-ed dorm rooms. We already have enough morality issues in America with regard to premarital sex, and allowing this kind of environment in our colleges will, generally speaking, invite further degradation of values. I’m not at all against co-ed systems, and obviously people will always find a way to break the rules no matter what — but this
[1] Posted by: NarniaFan7 | May 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pmWhat people do is their own business. Yeah, I have “strong moral convictions”, too . . . but that doesn’t mean I need to impose them on everyone else. Give me abortion, then I care what other people do (but I won’t go into that); give me dorm rooms, and I have to admit that I don’t care all that much. More power to ‘em.
[2] Posted by: bucketofroses | May 7th, 2008 at 7:26 pmI think parents would be suprised as to how little “interaction” would go on in co-ed dorm rooms. My friends that are girls are more like sisters to me, and I would never think of incest…
[3] Posted by: jazzfreak11 | May 7th, 2008 at 9:33 pmi personally wouldn’t mind being in a coed dormroom, and i think of the students are smart, it wouldn’t be a problem. but i do see where parents and others may raise eyebrows.
[4] Posted by: rashmi725 | May 11th, 2008 at 7:03 pmyeah, i think this is a good idea, as we become more and more open, as a society, to homosexuality. we should already have given homosexuals the rights they deserve a long time ago, but at least some colleges are taking the initiative of making them feel more comfortable where we spend our time for much of our lives during college.
[5] Posted by: googooww | May 12th, 2008 at 8:04 pmI think this a good idea. Like if your going to college and you don’t know anybody but your good friends who is the opposite sex is going to the same college u guys should definitly become rommates. I mean there is no harm in that. If it was me I would do that but I would not room with some random dude I do not know. He could be a psyco killer. Some people are just cucu ca choo;)
[6] Posted by: eyeforaneye000 | May 15th, 2008 at 12:38 pmI think it’s a great idea. I wanted to share an on-campus apartment with my brother a couple of years ago. For many reasons: we knew each other, we get along great, and it would save us money in the long-run. It’s was very easy for us to share things (my computer, his playstation, etc). But the University wouldn’t allow us to share a room–because I’m a girl and he’s a boy. It was ridiculous.
It’s not the University’s job to regulate a person’s morality. And it is not the University’s place to try and prevent pre-marital sex. Most students are adults (18 or older), and those students should be given the right to make decisions. No one should be *forced* to live with a co-ed roommate, but the option should be available to those wish to exercise it. If a parent disapproves–then a parent will have to intervene by appealing to their child. I’m sure all of us know that having same-sex roommates does not prevent premarital sex. A person can just sign their boyfriend in, and then have sex with him (much to your same-sex roommate’s chagrin.)
[7] Posted by: Insert_noun | May 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pmEw….ok seriously thats trouble waiting to happen…..i understand if its a brother or sister shareing a room…but other than that…its wrong!! already the teen pregancy rate has gone up..i wonder what the “college age” pregnancy rate will be if this follows through!
[8] Posted by: Bottumsup | May 20th, 2008 at 3:01 pmi think its a good idea we should try something new.
[9] Posted by: spiceupurlife | May 21st, 2008 at 3:56 pmI think it’s a bad idea simply because if you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend and then break up, it will be a pain for the university to deal with. I just think it would be too unstable and cause a lot of drama.
[10] Posted by: BalletLlama | May 21st, 2008 at 5:01 pmGo for it. Boys and girls interact all the time, and the notion that crashing in separate buildings will mediate or change that is kind of ludicrous to me. Biologically even, we’re pretty well meant to be co-ed. If you ask nature, it’s a lot more ridiculous to have all the guys lumped in with each other and girls alike. I can only picture the birds and the bees at the window…
[11] Posted by: Holonet | May 22nd, 2008 at 8:58 amresponsibility is a great factor here. If the student is capable of handleing this, it should be allowed, and it is a privilage. grades should be up, and responsibility great.
[12] Posted by: friedgophers | May 22nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm☀
[13] Posted by: ceecee4life | May 23rd, 2008 at 9:25 am☑THIS IS THE GREATEST IDEA IN THE WORLD✔
I think most people are mature enough to handle it. Just because there’s a guy in your room doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to do something your parents would murder you for. I’d like it if I knew the person.
[14] Posted by: muggle303 | May 25th, 2008 at 7:24 pmI think its kind of a neat idea. When I first saw the title, it didn’t occur to me that co-ed dorm rooms might be better for a homosexual person. And as to the premarital sex issue - its college, it’ll happen regardless of the dorm room situation. I too have “strong moral values” but I think its a pretty neat idea. Just because you share your dorm with one of the opposite sex (for heterosexuals) doesn’t mean you’re going to immediatley have sex with them.
I agree with Insert_noun’s statement about “It’s not the University’s job to regulate a person’s morality. And it is not the University’s place to try and prevent pre-marital sex. Most students are adults (18 or older), and those students should be given the right to make decisions.” Its true, it isn’t the University’s place to prevent premarital sex, its completely up to the student - after all, college students typically are adults.
As for the parent’s reaction- most likely I would not be allowed to room with a guy, esp if my roommate was a total hottie
. Even when I am 18 & attending college, my parents will have the final say in such matters - they will be paying my way through college.
Anyhow, it’d be a neat experiment to see how guys & girls coexist in co-ed dorm rooms.
[15] Posted by: marzipan663 | May 26th, 2008 at 1:54 pmI think it makes alot of sense but it should be your choice, like im a girl but i get along better with guys for longer periods of time. it would be easier to like chill with guys, then constantly be accused for retarded things like stealing clothes from some girl because she misplaced them
[16] Posted by: PantherSftball | May 26th, 2008 at 6:41 pmi think i could go both ways…
[17] Posted by: doctoritabook517 | May 27th, 2008 at 9:03 pmi lived in an all girls dorm, i never stayed there, i lived in an apartment with 5 guys me being the only girl. nothing sexual ever happened and we all got along great. i was frustrated that i couldn\’t have one of my guy friends over in the middle of the day to study for class, so we all hung out at the apartment. we all crashed there and most of the time we all ate there. people do know there limits, they know if they want to concent to something or not. more girls used to sneek guys in than i care to imagine. and the guys dorms didn\’t care. so co-ed rooms offer way more in my opinion then a lot of traditional rooms. plus i never got along with my girl room mates, i had 5 in total. if people are really worried they can make it to where the dorm parent or adviser could check on them even if the door is locked. for the parents who have no trust in their child\’s life decisions.
[18] Posted by: kisselburgs_girl | June 1st, 2008 at 3:50 pmi think this is a great idea, especially for gay/lesbian people who feel uncomfortable single-sex. one of my best friends is gay and i’d love to room with him haha
[19] Posted by: amandacarolan | June 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 pmI think it is a fantastic idea.
[20] Posted by: illegalautopsy | June 3rd, 2008 at 10:54 pmI think this is a great idea, especially for people (like gays and lesbians, or anyone really) who are more comfortable with the opposite sex. I know that it’s a lot easier for me to get along with boys than girls, and I would probably feel a lot better with a male roommate.
Furthermore, colleges that prohibit coed dormrooms are underestimating young adults. We do not just think of the opposite gender as sex objects. Almost all of my close friends are male, and I do not view them in a sexual way. They’re my brothers. Anyone who thinks that if a student is put in a dormroom with someone of the opposite sex, that they’ll immediately start sleeping together, is seriously insulting teens and young adults.
[21] Posted by: peacegirl42 | June 5th, 2008 at 12:42 amGreat idea! Boys and girls are able to live together in a non-sexual way! I would love this!!
[22] Posted by: LadyMambledamble | June 5th, 2008 at 8:01 amI think co-ed dorm rooms are fine. What people do in those dorm rooms are their business. I’m christian but I think it’s totally acceptable. Boys and girls can live around each other and not have sex. It is possible.
[23] Posted by: waytoocool13 | June 6th, 2008 at 8:49 amI don’t like coed dorms, because I wouldn’t like coming out of the bathroom from taking a shower and I see a guy! I rather have a girl, unless the guy was gay, then I would make an exception.
[24] Posted by: jadon_elphaba | June 6th, 2008 at 10:37 amits a very naughty thing are you nuts you understand how many kids are getting it on and getting wasted every single night
[25] Posted by: jumpingjumper | June 6th, 2008 at 7:42 pmMost people won’t dorm with their boyfriends or girlfriends because their relationship may not last very long and they know that. Just because girls and guys can dorm with each other doesn’t mean that they will have sex with their roomate, how uncomfortable would that be? Especially because some college relationships are over before they even begin. Plus if I was very close to my brother or my best friend was a guy then I would want to be roomates with them.
[26] Posted by: bedfordbella14 | June 9th, 2008 at 8:26 pmIt’s fine with me. I am Christian and I know people in coed rooms that don’t get it on. Nothing is wrong with it.
[27] Posted by: Aus49lax | June 11th, 2008 at 1:45 pmI believe that this sort of thing SHOULD be up to the student attending the college. If they want to share a room with one of the opposite sex, then let them. It’s THEIR education. It’s THEIR dorm room.
[28] Posted by: RAmber94 | June 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pmSure, let the dorms be co-ed. I spent one year in a all girls dorm and was constantly harassed by RAs doing “man checks” at ungodly hours of the night. Co-ed dorms would stop that! I’m sure co-ed dorms would have separate shower/restroom facilites, just like co-ed gyms, churches, restaurants do! And to the idea that co-ed dorms would become baby-breeding buildings of moral filthiness, I say this: If college age adults were to sleep with someone/anyone just because they were alone in a room with a bed, it’s going to happen whether it’s in a co-ed dorm or not!
[29] Posted by: cod002 | June 14th, 2008 at 4:15 pmHonestly, if eveyone’s dorm is like mine, the sex is going to happen no matter what. It’s my opinion that if some girls or guys get along better with the opposite sex, it’s more beneficial for the harmony of the home. I’ve gone through countless female roomates who were all swamped with the drama they carry around with them, all of whom caused problems.
[30] Posted by: blackkatt99 | June 25th, 2008 at 3:17 amI think it would be kind of kool, but the sex thing can and will get in the way. In one sence i would like it because it would give me a chance to understand how a girl opperates but then again sex gets in the way because after you become friends and get to know each other better, then one day you get touchy then you do it. Not a good idea but good try though.
[31] Posted by: Spark533 | June 26th, 2008 at 6:34 pm