Whether you’re saving pennies for the latest (and tiniest) mp3 player, concerned with your parents’ complete control over your weekly allowance, or your after-school job is just not cutting it, you’re not alone—we’ve all got cash flow issues. Managing your wallet is something that everyone, no matter age or location, needs to deal with. But, according to a new online novel that is sweeping Italy, the everlasting challenge of making ends meet does not have to translate to an uneventful, uninteresting (and iPod-less) life.
So now that it’s been established that Kaitlin Cooper is a lean, mean, tween queen—even at the tender age of fourteen, mind you—we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief…right? Nothing has changed in the OC. Here, everybody’s defenseless against the creeping, sticky spread of smut.
But I guess I’m still not sure whether it’s okay for me to say that this young vixen is hot. It’s been two episodes now, and I’ve watched her sort of cautiously. I haven’t said to myself, Damn, I want to date that chick. I haven’t been like, Wow, she would make a great girlfriend for Wilmer Valderrama. If you notice, I only use language like “hot” or “hottie” for adult members of the cast and the occasional lesbian that shows up in the plot. Like Kirsten, for instance. Kirsten is very hot. Not a problem. But little Kaitlin Cooper? She is also a K.C., but I just can’t do it.
Behold! The triumphant return of the OCD. So here we go again with another episode where a new character is introduced into the mix of already-not-so-dynamic characters. Enter Marissa’s little sister, Kaitlin “not-so-mini” Cooper. Am I allowed to say that she’s hot? Am I allowed to say that she’s an attractive young girl even? She’s really fourteen in real life. I swear to goat. I got the press from the OC’s publicist. Her birthday is in freakin’ 1991! I was eleven back then! I think there are going to be a lot of older men out there who are wondering the exact same thing. But then again, there will also be a lot of happier, dirtier old men somewhere saying to themselves, Thank you, Fox, for bringing me more smut. Even though you have a right wing news program that talks down to smut-peddlers, it’s okay to broadcast it on national television before most high school kid’s bedtimes.
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Though I just finished cataloging the best of last year and getting nostalgic for tearing open records like the Decemberists’ “Picaresque” or Bloc Party’s “Silent Alarm” when they were still new releases, I realize that I can’t live in the past. It’s time for me to look ahead to the new CDs that 2006 has to offer. And, I must say, it is already looking like quite a lineup. Some new bands are releasing highly anticipated debuts, some band members are going solo and releasing cool first records, and some old favorites are back with new material. I’m not a betting girl, but I’m willing to wager that at least one of the following albums will find their way into your stereos this year as the soundtrack to happy, healthy New Year!
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