Admit it. Sometimes when you dance in front of the mirror in your underwear, you think you're the bomb. Other times, you know you're just one of a million people dancing alone in their underwear in front of the mirror. So when it comes to dating, are you a slayer? A player? A total betrayer? A hideous blight on human social norms?

Finally, SparkNotes brings you objective truth, with the Dateable Test. Because it's right there in Poor Richard's Almanac: only asexual sub-humanoids "choose" to stay in on Saturday nights.