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Do Men Fall in Love Faster?

By ContributorAugust 23, 2011
Could you even handle Scott-Free more than once or twice a week? —Sparkitors If your date watches you sleep, stop dating this person now. Rule #13: Don’t see him more than once or twice a week. E-Fein and Shusher win the Pulitzer Prize... More  →
Do Men Fall in Love Faster?

There Are Faces Now?!

By Emily WinterAugust 23, 2011
YUS, Sparklebrains, there are faces now!!! Would you like to get your stupid-wonderful face on SparkNotes? All you gotta do is log in, and click "Manage Your Photos" on your profile to get started. Photos will appear on your profile AND next to your comments. If you... More  →
There Are Faces Now?!

Let's Shake Things Up: Writer Wars!

By Chelsea DaggerAugust 23, 2011
Completely unbeknownst to your favorite Dagger, who has been sitting at her desk sorting her paperclips into piles of "Very Shiny" and "Slightly Less Shiny", New York just had an EARTHQUAKE—or at least experienced aftershocks from the quake in Virginia. Luckily, the SparkNotes... More  →
Let's Shake Things Up: Writer Wars!

Dear Albert: Queen of Neanderthals

By Emily WinterAugust 22, 2011
We're running late on Dear Alberts, so you're getting a double dose this week! —Sparkitors I cannot bring myself to respond to Kelly Jenkins’ question. About Jeff Wellstone—the guy responsible for three stitches in my forehead—being secretly gay. The question makes me want to... More  →
Dear Albert: Queen of Neanderthals

Tess of the d'Urbervilles: The Most Depressing Book Ever Written!

By ContributorAugust 22, 2011
Is is terrible that we work at SPARKNOTES and we've never read this book? At least Lonks can help us fill the profound gaps in our literary expertise.—Sparkitors Book #52: Tess of the d’Urbervilles Author: Thomas Hardy Reason for Reading: As I... More  →
Tess of the d'Urbervilles: The Most Depressing Book Ever Written!

Who's Your Literary Boyfriend?: Round Two

By kat_rosenfieldAugust 19, 2011
Are you looking for a genuine man? Do you like 'em tormented and unreliable? Do you think mental stability is totally overrated? Then how about Holden Caulfield! This eligible bachelor is a whiner, a sex addict, and the king of the ill-advised Drunk Dial—but hey, at least More  →
Who's Your Literary Boyfriend?: Round Two

Blogging Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Part 8

By Dan_BergsteinAugust 19, 2011
Chapter Twenty: Hermione's Secret Better Title: But what about the…oh never mind. Time travel is a slippery watermelon in storytelling. The TV show LOST did a good job of dealing with it, and the movie Primer is perhaps the most realistic and headachey depiction of time... More  →
Blogging Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Part 8

From the Department of Werewolf Awareness to Mr. Bergstein: Where Our Tail Goes When We Transform

By ContributorAugust 17, 2011
jolieg15, just LOL. —Sparkitors Dear Mr. Bergstein, As longtime readers of your columns, we must say that we are so thrilled with the attention you are giving our kind. You see, we are werewolves, and it has come to our attention that many of... More  →
From the Department of Werewolf Awareness to Mr. Bergstein: Where Our Tail Goes When We Transform

Buy Her a Romantic Toaster

By ContributorAugust 16, 2011
More awesomeness from Scott-Free, y'all. —Sparkitors Rule #12: Stop Dating Him If He Doesn’t Buy You A Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine’s Day. Ladies and gentlemen, this one is going to be fun. “…When a man wants to marry you, he usually gives... More  →
Buy Her a Romantic Toaster

Crime Doesn't Pay (Unless You Write a Best-Seller About Petty Theft)

By Chelsea DaggerAugust 16, 2011
Who would have guessed that SparkLife was harboring a bunch of hardened criminals? Now that I know you're all capable of committing felonies, I suggest we go on a wildly profitable crime spree. Ideally, it should involve lock-picking, jewel thieving, several high-speed car chases in... More  →
Crime Doesn't Pay (Unless You Write a Best-Seller About Petty Theft)