Skip over navigation

Posts by valerie burn

Breaking: Selena Gomez Got Bangs

By Valerie BurnSeptember 15, 2014
BREAKING/BROKEN/BLUNT VERY IMPORTANT NEWS: Selena Gomez got bangs. The singer had been rockin' that bare forehead for a while now, and decided to mix it up with a lil fringe. She announced the radical change on her Instagram, of course, with the simple caption "bangs." Bangs-news-breaker MTV ... More  →
Breaking: Selena Gomez Got Bangs

A Guide to Being Involved in Your Parent's Wedding

By Valerie BurnSeptember 12, 2014
So, one of your parents is getting married. Cool! (Well, generally speaking.) Evil stepparents aside, gaining a new parent is pretty fun. Chances are, this person has been in your life for a while, and, even if the new step-parent isn't THE BEST EVER, you want ... More  →
A Guide to Being Involved in Your Parent's Wedding

Tampon Run is the Game of Your Period-Infused Dreams

By Valerie BurnSeptember 11, 2014
Two cooler-than-us teen ladies recently created Tampon Run, a game about, well, tampons. Creators Andrea Gonzales and Sophie Houser wanted to create a game that de-stigmatized periods. The game begins, "Most women menstruate for a large portion of their lives. It is, by all means, normal." ... More  →
Tampon Run is the Game of Your Period-Infused Dreams

More Emojis Are Here, Rejoice :(#)

By Valerie BurnSeptember 11, 2014
The demand for more emojis has always been around. After all, where is the diversity in faces? Where is the Beyonce emoji? WHERE IS THE TACO EMOJI?  THE PEOPLE DEMAND A TACO EMOJI. There are always new apps coming out claiming to solve our problems. A ... More  →
More Emojis Are Here, Rejoice :(#)

Shame Suit Up! Teen Wears Short Skirt, Gets Totally Reasonable Shame Suit Treatment

By Valerie BurnSeptember 10, 2014
Today in UGHH SERIOUSLY, THIS IS STILL A THING news, a Florida high school made a student wear a literal "shame suit" because of her dress code violation. Fifteen-year-old Miranda Larkin made the mistake of wearing a too-short skirt on her third day at a brand new school (because: ... More  →
Shame Suit Up! Teen Wears Short Skirt, Gets Totally Reasonable Shame Suit Treatment

Why We're Team JLaw With This Stupid Photo Leak Thing

By Valerie BurnSeptember 3, 2014
If you've been in the internet in the past few days, you've probably heard about all these SHOCKING CELEB NUDES released by some bozo on 4chan. Hackers got into several celebs'  phones/computers/iCloud (technology expert over here), and posted a bunch of SHOCKING (and by SHOCKING ... More  →
Why We're Team JLaw With This Stupid Photo Leak Thing

Sinister Buttocks and Other Trends in Plagiarism

By Valerie BurnSeptember 1, 2014
We all know plagiarism is rough and amiss. Exactly, it can be the accessible way out of a bearings where the writer has too meager time to write a correct essay. Withal, nowadays plagiarism is so easily measurable that cagey plagiarists have come up with the idea of  what ... More  →
Sinister Buttocks and Other Trends in Plagiarism

Women Can Be Masters of the Universe, Too

By Valerie BurnAugust 27, 2014
You may have heard that a He-Man movie remake, Masters of the Universe, is in the works. The movie is among a long list of remakes of '80s and '90s cartoons that have popped up over the years, like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers, and Garfield (ugh). It will surely ... More  →
Women Can Be Masters of the Universe, Too

It's Official: School Starts Too Early

By Valerie BurnAugust 26, 2014
Today in This Is Not News-news: school starts too early. If you're anything like us, your daily routine looks something like this: 6:00: Alarm goes off 6:10, 6:20, 6:30: Alarm continues to go off 6:40: Get in the shower for 5 minutes 6:45: Fight with your hair for 10 ... More  →
It's Official: School Starts Too Early
About the Author
Valerie Burn

Valerie Burn is a very cool Midwestern lady. She has lived in tons of exciting places, such as Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan. She spends her free time snuggling her beautiful, perfect dog Teddy, and reading the entire internet every day. Valerie enjoys eating things, buying things, and writing things, as well as watching terrible TV.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.