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Posts by valerie burn

Taytors Gonna Tate and Other Phrases Tay-Tay Might Copyright

By Valerie BurnJanuary 30, 2015
Everyone's favorite pop star/muse/living doll/best friend Taylor Swift™ can add something new to her resume: trademarker. T-Swizz applied to own the trademark to several Swifty™ phrases, including "Shake It Off"'s "This sick beat."© (Splogger note: WHICH IS WEIRD TO TYPE, BECAUSE IT SHOULD OBVIOUSLY BE TYPED ... More  →
Taytors Gonna Tate and Other Phrases Tay-Tay Might Copyright

BYE, GREEN PEPPERS: Pizza Toppings, Ranked

By Valerie BurnJanuary 29, 2015
GIMME PIZZA. P-I-Z-Z-AAAaaaaaaaa. Pizza is the best of all foods, and nothing can compete with it ever, END OF STORY. However, pizza can compete with itself. Every time you order pizza, in fact, an assortment of toppings do battle, jostling for the crown of BEST PIZZA ... More  →
BYE, GREEN PEPPERS: Pizza Toppings, Ranked

A New Ed Sheeran Impersonator Has Taken Over the Internet: All Hail Ed Sheerchin

By Valerie BurnJanuary 26, 2015
There have been many Ed Sheeran impersonators over the years: Rupert Grinch, a mini-ginge with a guitar, and this ball of orange yarn. BUT NONE HAVE SWEPT US AWAY QUITE LIKE ED SHEERCHIN. In recent days, the affections of the at-large public and Taylor Swift alike have been ... More  →
A New Ed Sheeran Impersonator Has Taken Over the Internet: All Hail Ed Sheerchin

What Do You Get When You Mix Ri-Ri With Kanye and a Beatles God? A GOOD TUNE FOR A SNOWPOCALYPSE

By Valerie BurnJanuary 26, 2015
Everyone's favorite bad girl, bad guy and bewildered, successful dad are back with a new song called "FourFive Seconds." That's right, Rihanna, Kanye, and Paul McCartney are at it again*,**! We would normally expect an incredibly hot club jam from the likes of Rihanna and Kanye, but Macca ... More  →
What Do You Get When You Mix Ri-Ri With Kanye and a Beatles God? A GOOD TUNE FOR A SNOWPOCALYPSE

Awkward Ski Pants, Selma, and Why MLK Day Is a Big Deal This Year

By Valerie BurnJanuary 19, 2015
The Monday after January 15 (Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday), signifying for many THE hallmark achievement in civil rights, the Voting Rights Act of 1965, is typically celebrated by everyone heading to the ski hill and lining up for four hours in garish neon pants ... More  →
Awkward Ski Pants, <i>Selma</i>, and Why MLK Day Is a Big Deal This Year

Quvenzhané Wallis and Why It's Annoying When People Mispronounce Her Name

By Valerie BurnJanuary 13, 2015
Quvenzhané Wallis is a dream. She's hilarious in interviews, cute as a button (remember how she did her bit about how parents should LISTEN TO THEIR KIDS with her mom in the room at our interview?!! LOOLLL), and a tremendous actress. And she's only 11. ELEVEN! When ... More  →
Quvenzhané Wallis and Why It's Annoying When People Mispronounce Her Name

Kaley Cuoco Apparently Says Feminism Is "Not Really Something I Think About" and That's Probably OK

By Valerie BurnJanuary 9, 2015
Redbook recently interviewed Big Bang star Kaley Cuoco (who is apparently going by Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, as she was recently married, but no one knows her by that yet, so we're sticking with plain ol' Cuoco), and of course The Question about feminism came up. Because it seems ... More  →
Kaley Cuoco Apparently Says Feminism Is

Pitch Perfect 2 Looks Like the Mighty Ducks of Competitive Singing: CAWK!

By Valerie BurnJanuary 8, 2015
How excited are you for Pitch Perfect 2? It's hard to remember life pre-Pitch Perfect, before Rebel Wilson ran off with our hearts and Adam DeVine with our pancreases, way back when we were dubious about whether "the sidekick from Twilight" could actually sing, pre-Cups. (HOW WRONG WE WERE.) If ... More  →
<i>Pitch Perfect 2</i> Looks Like the Mighty Ducks of Competitive Singing: CAWK!

A New Chicken Dance Is Upon Us and It Is Worse Than Ever

By Valerie BurnNovember 13, 2014
SPARKLETOTS: If you're anything like us, lately, something's been missing from your lives. With all the Taylor Swift and Sam Smith going around, our ear drums have been positively coddled with nice songs and pleasing music. But you know as well as we do: Listening to ... More  →
A New Chicken Dance Is Upon Us and It Is Worse Than Ever

"Ol' McSpaghetti Arms" and Other Things Anna Kendrick Says In Her Awesome Marie Claire Interview

By Valerie BurnNovember 12, 2014
When we talk about our imaginary best friends, a few ladies come to mind: Jennifer Lawrence. Emma Watson. Taylor Swift. Hillary Clinton. (Is that last one just me? OK.) But we often forget one of our most excellent fake besties, Ms. Anna Kendrick. We first met her ... More  →
Marie Claire Interview" />
About the Author
Valerie Burn

Valerie Burn is a very cool Midwestern lady. She has lived in tons of exciting places, such as Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan. She spends her free time snuggling her beautiful, perfect dog Teddy, and reading the entire internet every day. Valerie enjoys eating things, buying things, and writing things, as well as watching terrible TV.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.