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Posts by tlisi

Why It's Hard to Be Friends With Someone of the Opposite Sex

By Tom LisiFebruary 13, 2017
I am a guy who’s attracted to girls, and my best friend in the world, who is also my oldest friend in the world, is a girl who’s attracted to guys (and girls in her case). We’ve been close for over 10 years. I was ... More  →
Why It's Hard to Be Friends With Someone of the Opposite Sex

JEDIS, REJOICE: Vanity Fair Just Released Awesome New Pix for The Force Awakens!

By Tom LisiMay 6, 2015
IS THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE HERE YET?!? No?! It's still months away, but the gradual media campaign will slowly drive us mad with anticipation until it comes out in December? GREAT, THAT DOESN'T SOUND TORTUROUS AT ALL. Our latest peek into Star Wars: The Force ... More  →
JEDIS, REJOICE: Vanity Fair Just Released Awesome New Pix for <em>The Force Awakens</em>!

What the Age You Started Drinking Coffee Says About You

By Tom LisiMay 4, 2015
Ah, glorious java, harvested in such faraway lands as Colombia, Kenya, and *cough* Java. Its rich, sultry aroma has gripped our culture like Ryan Gosling’s rock roots band would if he just listened to me and PICKED UP A GUITAR. There’s a great deal of ... More  →
What the Age You Started Drinking Coffee Says About You

Palm Reading: Do You Have a Rare Double Flow Feature on Your Hand?

By Tom LisiApril 27, 2015
Another day is upon us, and the potential for renewal precedes us. It’s been a little while since my last Sparkitor palm reading. I was busy at a two-week Cosmic Fortune Telling Conference in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh is a beautiful city with magnificent energies and a ... More  →
Palm Reading: Do You Have a Rare Double Flow Feature on Your Hand?

Get to Know the Cast of the New Fantastic Four Movie

By Tom LisiApril 22, 2015
Holy Marvel Universe, Batman! It's another Fantastic Four movie, and Batman's not in it because he's a DC character (oh SURE we all knew that), but YOU KNOW WHO IS? Miles Teller, who is beamed here from the Teeniverse, hot off being sarcastic and scarred ... More  →
Get to Know the Cast of the New <i>Fantastic Four</i> Movie
U.S. Regions as Cafeteria Lunch Tables

U.S. Regions as Cafeteria Lunch Tables

By Tom LisiApril 8, 2015
This land may have been made for you and me, but LET'S BE HONEST FOR A SECOND, if a zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, I'd be sticking with my peeps, because regional pride is real. Regional pride is what binds us together. Where you grew up has ... More  →

Palm Reading: Finding Out What Flow Fingers Can Tell Us About Life/the Next Coachella

By Tom LisiMarch 27, 2015
All of us carry a blueprint with us, and while science has made good use of DNA codes and fingerprints, it’s still up to us mystics to untap the true stories written on our most unappreciated possessions: the palm. What better palms to decipher than ... More  →
Palm Reading: Finding Out What Flow Fingers Can Tell Us About Life/the Next Coachella

How to Achieve Your New Year's Revolution to Be Nicer

By Tom LisiJanuary 8, 2015
2015 started out well. Having resolved to take a chill pill for the next 365 days, you breezed through January 1-4 smiling at the people who say "expresso," and silently sitting pressed against the bus window by the guy with the laptop and three bags ... More  →
How to Achieve Your New Year's Revolution to Be Nicer

How to Be A Good Bagillionaire

By Tom LisiJuly 9, 2014
So you’ve just made a bagillion dollars overnight. They say there are no overnight successes, but “they” didn’t accidentally buy a bunch of Apple stock 10 years ago thinking it was for Applebees. To be fair, two appetizers for $10 is pretty good value. Well, wolf ... More  →
How to Be A Good Bagillionaire

We Dispel the Biggest Pool Myths!

By Tom LisiJuly 2, 2014
WE ARE HERE TO DISMANTLE THE MYTH OF THE PURPLE POOL RING OF PEE-SHAME. But what other propaganda have you been fed as a child? You Must Wait an Hour After Eating To Swim We all knew this full of nonsense the first time we heard it. ... More  →
We Dispel the Biggest Pool Myths!
About the Author
Tom Lisi

Tom is a writer and comedian from Long Island, NY, Duh! You didn't know that?! You can follow him on Twitter @tommylisi, nuh-duh!!!

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.