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Posts by melissa_albert

The 11 Kinds of Texts You Get From Your Mom

By Melissa AlbertFebruary 19, 2014
Moms and texting go together like nachos and panda bears: nothing makes sense, things often go badly, but occasionally something hilarious happens. Or else the panda bear ignores the nachos, which we guess is a metaphor for moms who don't like to text. Even if ... More  →
The 11 Kinds of Texts You Get From Your Mom

Which Children's Lit Heroine Are You?

By Melissa AlbertFebruary 7, 2014
Still waiting on your letter from Hogwarts? Still thumping the back of every wardrobe, and staring really, extra hard at the second star on the right, just hoping Peter Pan might finally get his butt to earth and take you away? Yeah, us, too. But while ... More  →
Which Children's Lit Heroine Are You?

10 Ways to Respond When a Stranger Tells You to Smile

By Melissa AlbertJanuary 27, 2014
It's a scientific fact that young women who refuse to constantly smile in public are the number one cause of poverty, starvation, and uncomfortable feelings in the hearts of men, which explains why strangers like to yell, "Why don't you smile, sweetheart?" when you walk ... More  →
10 Ways to Respond When a Stranger Tells You to Smile

9 Signs Your Life is Actually a Reality Show

By Melissa AlbertJanuary 22, 2014
Have you ever heard of the Truman Show delusion? It's a very real condition whose sufferers believe that their life is a reality show. If you've got TSD, you might think that invisible producers are telling you what to say, or that you need to ... More  →
9 Signs Your Life is Actually a Reality Show

Who's Your Literary Boyfriend?

By Melissa AlbertJanuary 14, 2014
The thing about fictional guys is they never let you down. Mr. Bingley will always succumb to his better nature and propose to Jane. Snape will always love Lily, no matter how much it breaks his heart. And Ned Nickerson will just keep getting knocked unconscious in ... More  →
Who's Your Literary Boyfriend?

The Best of Melissa's 2013

By Melissa AlbertDecember 30, 2013
Melissa routinely uses her body as a food crash test dummy, has been to the Sorbonne (not just in song), and has incredible bone structure. She is a Sparkitor extraordinaire.  Best song of 2013? This isn't from 2013, but I found myself humming/singing it constantly. Catchphrase you couldn’t ... More  →
The Best of Melissa's 2013

The Sparkitors Review the World's Grossest Food: Survivalist Edition

By Melissa AlbertDecember 13, 2013
You know what really puts the "cheer" in holiday cheer? Wondering if you would survive in a postapocalyptic hellscape! In this edition of Gross Food Eating for No Reason the Good of Humanity, we decided to find out how we'd do (sorta). More  →
The Sparkitors Review the World's Grossest Food: Survivalist Edition

How to Celebrate Winning NaNoWriMo! (And How to Anti-Celebrate Losing)

By Melissa AlbertDecember 4, 2013
Hey, everybody! Who won NaNoWriMo? (Bunches of hands go up. Mine stays down, shoved into a box of Sno-Caps.) Your suspicions are correct. I did, in fact, lose at NaNoWriMo. I let down myself, my amazing Sparkler Writing Buddies, John Green, the ghost of Edgar Allan ... More  →
How to Celebrate Winning NaNoWriMo! (And How to Anti-Celebrate Losing)

Sick of Your NaNoWriMo Novel? Don't Despair, Transform It!

By Melissa AlbertNovember 20, 2013
Sparklers, I have a confession. I am bored of my NaNo novel. Because I suspect it is actually very terrible. While it's easy in the first half of NaNoWriMo to tell yourself that the point isn't to write something good, but just to WRITE, it gets increasingly difficult ... More  →
Sick of Your NaNoWriMo Novel? Don't Despair, Transform It!

The Sparkitors Review the World's Grossest Food: WE ATE BUGS

By Melissa AlbertNovember 15, 2013
Let's get this over with: we ate bugs. "The delicious gummy kind?" you ask. To which we say, No, you beautiful, beautiful fool. Not the gummy kind.Are we ready to talk about the events of November 14? No, we are not. Are we going to anyway? Yes, because we hope you'll feel s More  →
The Sparkitors Review the World's Grossest Food: WE ATE BUGS
About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.