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Posts by kale bogdanovs

A Letter From the Cantaloupe in the Back of My Fridge

By Kale BogdanovsJune 13, 2014
I decided to go on a bit of a health kick a few weeks back. Eating right, exercising the whole deal. I figured, how hard can it be? Buy quality fresh ingredients, make time to cook real food—anyone can do it, right? I’m a grown ... More  →
A Letter From the Cantaloupe in the Back of My Fridge

43 Signs You're a Bad Kisser

By Kale BogdanovsMarch 20, 2014
We all want to be great kissers. But how do you know if you're not up to scratch? Here are some common signs. Your partner bleeds profusely from the face. Your partner has a recurring nightmare of drowning in stale coffee. The Imperial March starts playing out of ... More  →
43 Signs You're a Bad Kisser

Palaeontologists Discover "Chicken from Hell"

By Kale BogdanovsMarch 20, 2014
A press release from the Carnegie Museum of Natural History yesterday announced the discovery of a new species of dinosaur. A relative of the oviraptor, the new dinosaur was thought to be five feet tall, weigh around 650 pounds and resemble a giant flightless bird, ... More  →
Palaeontologists Discover

Do You Suffer From These Common Social Media Diseases?

By Kale BogdanovsMarch 6, 2014
It can start with a twitching in your extremities, and escalate to full-blown heart palpitations and duckface: Here is the 2014 diagnostic for social media epidemiology... ... More  →
Do You Suffer From These Common Social Media Diseases?

6 Ways to Fight the Impending Clown Drought

By Kale BogdanovsFebruary 24, 2014
Do old clowns ever truly die? It turns out they do. They really do. And young clowns aren’t earning their hoop suspenders fast enough to replace the many, many dead ones. Clowns of America International, America’s premier clowning organization and and real thing that actually exists, has ... More  →
6 Ways to Fight the Impending Clown Drought

Winning Your Crush Over by Valentines Day: A Step-by-Step Guide

By Kale BogdanovsJanuary 30, 2014
Do you have a crush? Us too! We’ll tell you ours if you tell us yours, ours is Angela Lansbury. Wait! Damn! Anyway, Valentine’s Day fast approaching and, as you know, if you don’t win the heart of your crush by Valentine’s Day, you will be ... More  →
Winning Your Crush Over by Valentines Day: A Step-by-Step Guide

7 Things Lorde Said So Well, They Seem Kind of Obvious Now

By Kale BogdanovsJanuary 10, 2014
We think the Rookie interview with Lorde was "phe-nom-nom" because it cut out all the condescending interview baloney that you usually see when an enterprising young person is interviewed by an Old. BLESS YOU, TAVI. The transcript of the two-hour Skype conversation is a fascinating look ... More  →
7 Things Lorde Said So Well, They Seem Kind of Obvious Now

Things to Do When You're Bored on NYE

By Kale BogdanovsDecember 31, 2013
There are lots of reasons a Sparkler might end up bored on New Year’s Eve: your friends all went to Belize for the holidays; your parents decided to host a Fondue Year’s Eve party; you live in Willard, Ohio. Don’t worry, though, we’ve got you ... More  →
Things to Do When You're Bored on NYE

The S.C.I.E.N.C.E. of Crazy Cheese Dreams: A Journal

By Kale BogdanovsNovember 20, 2013
In line with what witches have been crying since Victorian times, a study by the British Cheese Board (not a giant wooden board, as I initially thought) claims that eating cheese really does promote vivid dreaming, and that different cheeses provide different dream experiences. Cheddar, for example, ... More  →
The S.C.I.E.N.C.E. of Crazy Cheese Dreams: A Journal

Grapes vs Raisins: Raisins Forever!

By Kale BogdanovsNovember 18, 2013
In this master-level debate, Kale and Rebecca battle for your affections in a tournament of grapes versus raisins. Below, Kale makes the case for raisins: Seriously? Grapes are better than raisins? Is Channing Tatum tougher than Sean Connery? Is Miranda Kerr more beautiful than Helen Mirren? ... More  →
Grapes vs Raisins: Raisins Forever!