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Posts by jon_skindzier

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Terrible Ways To Ask Someone To Be Your Valentine

By Jon_SkindzierJanuary 27, 2011
There are tons of great ways to ask someone to be your Valentine. Foremost among them is actually asking the person, with minimal trickery, and without assuming you need to play a guitar or break a bunch of laws. As long as you can say ... More  →
Terrible Ways To Ask Someone To Be Your Valentine

Ask Jono: Dudes Feeling Feelings

By Jon_SkindzierJanuary 25, 2011
Wow, guys. I thought I was going to get, like, two questions, including the one I sent myself about where I put my keys. I got a bunch though! If I didn't get to you today, it's because your question was bad and you are ... More  →
Ask Jono: Dudes Feeling Feelings

How To Be a Facebook Iconoclast

By Jon_SkindzierJanuary 24, 2011
If you're a diligent hipster, you probably barely use Facebook as it is, except to register your approval of bands so indie that they have yet to play any music. But if you're true to the vague hipster code—or even if you've merely begun to ... More  →
How To Be a Facebook Iconoclast

New Series Alert: Ask Jono

By Jon_SkindzierJanuary 19, 2011
You Sparklers have been asking for a male advice columnist to complement Auntie for, like, ever. So here he is, your very own Jon Skindzier, advice-giver extraordinaire! —Sparkitors Hi, everybody. I'm Jon, a human on the internet, and this is my new advice column, which I ... More  →
New Series Alert: Ask Jono

Football Terms, And How Not To Use Them

By Jon_SkindzierJanuary 13, 2011
The NFL playoff season is underway, which for some people means weeks of tension and excitement, and for others, confusion and dismay. ("Oh nooo! My team made it to The Big Game, whichever one that is. I hope they score so many footballs that nobody ... More  →
Football Terms, And How Not To Use Them

One-Hour Christmas Cleanup

By Jon_SkindzierDecember 29, 2010
Christmas is great and all, but after it's over, your house is full of stuff that suddenly has no use whatsoever. There's a tree in your living room, which in July would be cause to call an emergency lumberjack, and you now own a bunch ... More  →
One-Hour Christmas Cleanup

What Christmas Cards Say About... Other People

By Jon_SkindzierDecember 23, 2010
Christmas cards seem like a pretty straightforward concept, if a little counterproductive. Everyone exchanges money for pleasant little cards when they then exchange with each other; sort of like redeemable gift cards, except that they can only be redeemed for absolutely nothing Christmas joy. Certainly ... More  →
What Christmas Cards Say About... Other People

How Would You Narrate Your Life?

By Jon_SkindzierDecember 9, 2010
If you've never considered how you might narrate your own life, you might be in the minority here, since we assume most Sparklers are book-loving bookophiles who read lots of books. Perhaps we are just totally nuts, and nobody else has ever thought about this ... More  →
How Would You Narrate Your Life?

More Phrases That Make No Sense

By Jon_SkindzierDecember 7, 2010
As you guys have already noticed, English idioms don't make much sense. Our language is littered with thousands of phrases whose meanings have absolutely nothing to do with what they actually say, and sure, we understand them, but only because we've heard them a million ... More  →
More Phrases That Make No Sense

A Guide to Homemade Gifts

By Jon_SkindzierDecember 3, 2010
The holiday season is bearing down on us relentlessly, like a relentless bear wearing festive jingle bells—it's kinda magical, and cute, sort of, but it's also very demanding. (In this analogy, the bear requires a lot of Christmas gifts, instead of just wanting to eat ... More  →
A Guide to Homemade Gifts