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Posts by jon_skindzier

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How to Be a Renaissance Sparkler, Part 1: Philosophy

By Jon_SkindzierJune 17, 2010
This is the first in a series of posts that will basically make you perfect at everything by the end of the summer. If you'd prefer to fake being perfect instead, well, we cover that, too. Today's Topic: Philosophy. Introductory Philosophy Q&A Q. Eww, philosophy? A. Good question! ... More  →
How to Be a Renaissance Sparkler, Part 1: Philosophy

Literary Sequels, as Pitched by Hollywood

By Jon_SkindzierJune 15, 2010
What if Hollywood were responsible for creating sequels to famous books? For one, the sequels would be in movie form. Second, we suspect Hollywood would make the plots as empty as possible, and spruce things up with a popular actor or talking dog. The resulting movies would ... More  →
Literary Sequels, as Pitched by Hollywood

Ways to Get in Shape Over the Summer

By Jon_SkindzierJune 10, 2010
When you're still in school, you have plenty of reasons not to worry about fitness—you're stressed, people are constantly asking you to explain a triangle or conjugate a verb, and the cafeteria's healthiest option is the Country Fried Salad. But once school's out, those excuses dwindle ... More  →
Ways to Get in Shape Over the Summer

Confused Substitute Teacher Summarizes MORE Classic Literature

By Jon_SkindzierJune 3, 2010
Oh no! Who is that substitute teacher at the front of the room, paging frantically through a teacher's manual and spilling his bag of Cheetos everywhere? Could it be the very same substitute who misses the point of all literature, ever, and is he going ... More  →
Confused Substitute Teacher Summarizes MORE Classic Literature

How To Convince People You're Smarter Than You Actually Are

By Jon_SkindzierMay 26, 2010
For starters, you're already pretty smart. You're reading a blog on a literature site instead of just throwing your computer in the river because you can't figure out where the Facebooks are. But if you need to seem even ­smarter, because all your friends ever ... More  →
How To Convince People You're Smarter Than You Actually Are

DOs and DON'Ts if You've Gotten Lost

By Jon_SkindzierMay 21, 2010
So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway you never take, or teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should ... More  →
DOs and DON'Ts if You've Gotten Lost

The Subject You Hate (And Why That's Okay)

By Jon_SkindzierMay 14, 2010
Everyone's bad at something. If you're not, please go back to Mount Olympus and let the rest of us wallow in our misery, because some classes simply do not make sense, and never will. The following is a list of terror-inducing classes, what it feels ... More  →
The Subject You Hate (And Why That's Okay)

Bully Avoidance 101

By Jon_SkindzierMay 13, 2010
The world contains an unfortunate number of jerks. Some of them are definitely in your high school. But there's an upside to being around people who love to terrorize you—one we just thought up—and it's that learning to tolerate bullying without losing your mind and ... More  →
Bully Avoidance 101

Stock Characters At Your Local Convenience Store

By Jon_SkindzierMay 5, 2010
Convenience stores have a unique business philosophy, which is basically to charge 50 bucks for milk because they're located right there, wherever "right there" is for you, because store owners know that walking too much makes everyone grumpy. As such, convenience stores are often full ... More  →
Stock Characters At Your Local Convenience Store

Okay, So You Failed A Test. Now What?

By Jon_SkindzierApril 28, 2010
Here's the scenario. You're sitting in class, as tests are being handed back. Something seems amiss, because the teacher is handling yours like it has cartoon stink lines coming from it. He plops the test unceremoniously on your desk, and there it is: a big ... More  →
Okay, So You Failed A Test. Now What?