Your brain can help your love life or it can hinder it, Aries; above all, don't rely too much on it, because it's pretty much just a weird lump inside your head. Don't trust your brain any more than you can throw it, which is about zero inches, because otherwise you would More →
I have a problem. When I'm stressed, frustrated, tired, or even slightly annoyed, I turn into a monster even my parents are afraid of. I'm not the best at communicating the way I feel with words, so the only warning people get when I'm ... More →
Hey there! I'm of the male species, and before I get to the point, one cool little tribute of info: the condition "Polycephaly" is when an animal (from what I've seen snakes and turtles) has two heads. For example, here is a picture of a ... More →
I want to begin by saying that I hold your advice in high esteem, which is my very nice way of saying "help me please because I am super confused and I don't know what else to do."
So, I am just about to finish ... More →
JONO PLEASE LOOK AT THIS
I LOVE YOU AND YOUR COLUMN A LOT
PLEASE HELP ME WITH A NEW DILEMMA THAT HAS COME UP WITH MY FIRST ISSUE
YEAH I'M PROBABLY BEING REALLY OBNOXIOUS SORRY I'll stop using caps, cross my fingers, and hope I ... More →
So there's this guy (so cliche, I know) that has been asking to hang out for a couple of months now. We met when we were both working at a summer camp and he was always really sweet. In August he told me he ... More →
I adapted the rap I made up in fourth grade for you:
Yo, yo, yo, my name's Jono.
I live in (insert place) where there is some (isn't any?) snow.
I'm so cool. I already know.
You have a question and I'll answer below.
See what ... More →
Hopefully you're ready for Valentine's Day, Aries, which of course falls on February 14th, so if you are shot by a naked baby on this day then you should think nothing of it. If you are shot by a baby on any other day, it means good luck. The 14th (or 13th or 15th, depending More →
First off, I gotta say, I love your column, and it has helped me through some tough decisions before, including this one: I think I need to break up with my SO.
So here's the deal: I met him, we liked each other, he asked ... More →
I love you. (Even though you are a random dude from the internet.) That being said, ”there’s this boy” who I kinda sorta really really like. And I know he likes me too (literally every sign possible is there). So I also know that ... More →