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Posts by jon_skindzier

August Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierAugust 7, 2017
Remember this month that it's what's inside that counts, and boys with no internal organs are not boyfriend material. They also say that clothes make the man, but you should not make a man out of clothes and practice kissing him unless you are someplace very hidden. August i More  →
August Horoscopes!

Is "Bro Code" a Real Thing?

By Jon_SkindzierAugust 4, 2017
Note to all the bros out there: It should go without saying that absolutely none of the below is relevant if the girl you and your bro are interested in has zero interest in you. As Princess Jasmine made clear, no one can dibs/win/claim a human being, so SIT THE EFF DOWN WIT More  →
Is "Bro Code" a Real Thing?

July Horoscopes!!

By Jon_SkindzierJuly 10, 2017
If you really want to, Aries, you can wear a sash that identifies you as "Your Geekness," but it's unlikely anyone will mistake this for a title and embrace you for it. If you're acting really haughty this month, then you need to get off your high horse and get on a sober ho More  →
July Horoscopes!!

How To Talk to Your Crush Without Being the Most Awkward Ever

By Jon_SkindzierJune 28, 2017
If you're an Awkward, trying to talk to someone you like is extremely perilous. There's no telling what might come out of your mouth, such as numerous stories about your cat (you don't have a cat), or an entire donut. Guys are probably more prone to accidental insults (e.g s More  →
How To Talk to Your Crush Without Being the Most Awkward Ever

June Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierJune 12, 2017
They say that blood is thicker than water, Aries, but do not offer your dad a glass of blood this month, even if you forgot it was Father’s Day and the only thing you have on you is blood. And remember what Socrates said: “I don’t want any more socks or ties.” He nev More  →
June Horoscopes!

Dating With Science: To Girls, "Hot" Can Mean Basically Anything

By Jon_SkindzierMay 30, 2017
Science Fact: Women can find entirely different facial features attractive, depending on the kind of relationship they're looking for. Furthermore, they have a much broader definition of "attractive" than men do. Explanation: Guys are pretty consistent when it comes to at More  →
Dating With Science: To Girls, "Hot" Can Mean Basically Anything

Which Sonnet Describes Your Relationship?

By Jon_SkindzierApril 26, 2017
Sometimes you just can't quite put how you feel about your relationship into words. Or, you can, but you end up saying things like "He's, uh... ehhhh..." or "Mmmmm," and those are actually not words. Luckily, most sonnets contain literally tens of words, and have ... More  →
Which Sonnet Describes Your Relationship?

The Top 25 Worst College Essay Topics

By Jon_SkindzierApril 17, 2017
If getting into college is like applying for a job, and your grades are like your resume, then your college essay is like your cover letter—it showcases your personality, and it should not say anything about going to the bathroom, not ever. Here are some ... More  →
The Top 25 Worst College Essay Topics

Weird Signs That a Guy Might Like You

By Jon_SkindzierApril 11, 2017
A boy is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside of some clothes, hopefully. Sometimes he will demonstrate he likes you by saying "I like you," to you, with his mouth. Other times he will demonstrate that he likes you by hiding behind a potted plant until you have left the ro More  →
Weird Signs That a Guy Might Like You

April Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierApril 10, 2017
To make a long story, short, Aries, you should just omit most of it. In honor of April being Volunteer Month, your volunteering idea is to collect coats from the closets of people who are detrimental to society and throw them into the ocean. More  →
April Horoscopes!