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Posts by jon_skindzier

June Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierJune 12, 2017
They say that blood is thicker than water, Aries, but do not offer your dad a glass of blood this month, even if you forgot it was Father’s Day and the only thing you have on you is blood. And remember what Socrates said: “I don’t want any more socks or ties.” He nev More  →
June Horoscopes!

Dating With Science: To Girls, "Hot" Can Mean Basically Anything

By Jon_SkindzierMay 30, 2017
Science Fact: Women can find entirely different facial features attractive, depending on the kind of relationship they're looking for. Furthermore, they have a much broader definition of "attractive" than men do. Explanation: Guys are pretty consistent when it comes to at More  →
Dating With Science: To Girls, "Hot" Can Mean Basically Anything

Which Sonnet Describes Your Relationship?

By Jon_SkindzierApril 26, 2017
Sometimes you just can't quite put how you feel about your relationship into words. Or, you can, but you end up saying things like "He's, uh... ehhhh..." or "Mmmmm," and those are actually not words. Luckily, most sonnets contain literally tens of words, and have ... More  →
Which Sonnet Describes Your Relationship?

The Top 25 Worst College Essay Topics

By Jon_SkindzierApril 17, 2017
If getting into college is like applying for a job, and your grades are like your resume, then your college essay is like your cover letter—it showcases your personality, and it should not say anything about going to the bathroom, not ever. Here are some ... More  →
The Top 25 Worst College Essay Topics

Weird Signs That a Guy Might Like You

By Jon_SkindzierApril 11, 2017
A boy is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside of some clothes, hopefully. Sometimes he will demonstrate he likes you by saying "I like you," to you, with his mouth. Other times he will demonstrate that he likes you by hiding behind a potted plant until you have left the ro More  →
Weird Signs That a Guy Might Like You

April Horoscopes!

By Jon_SkindzierApril 10, 2017
To make a long story, short, Aries, you should just omit most of it. In honor of April being Volunteer Month, your volunteering idea is to collect coats from the closets of people who are detrimental to society and throw them into the ocean. More  →
April Horoscopes!

How To Play it Cool When You Run Into Your Ex

By Jon_SkindzierMarch 30, 2017
You know the feeling: you're hanging out somewhere, you look across the room, and suddenly your stomach drops. You start to sweat. Your heart starts pounding. This is mostly because you have just eaten twelve tacos, but also, your ex is standing right there across the room. More  →
How To Play it Cool When You Run Into Your Ex

Turn Your Platonic Friendship into a ROMANTICAL ROMANCE in 5 Steps

By Jon_SkindzierMarch 7, 2017
Falling for your friend is like falling down the stairs—it happens all at once, but also kind of in slow motion, and you are very confused, and then you wind up lying on the floor and weeping. Maybe it starts because you begin to notice some things. Was his smile always More  →
Turn Your Platonic Friendship into a ROMANTICAL ROMANCE in 5 Steps

March Horoscopes!!

By Jon_SkindzierMarch 6, 2017
It's time to make a statement this month, Aries, such as "Yes" or "Maybe." In honor of Everything You Think Is Wrong Day (March 15th), let us clear up some common misconceptions for you; yours is that Twinkies do not actually have an indefinite shelf life. In fact, the mom More  →
March Horoscopes!!

Do Guys Want Girls to Make the First Move?

By Jon_SkindzierMarch 2, 2017
You already have an idea of how dating is "supposed" to go: the guy asks you out, you go on a date, the guy initiates romantic contact, and then soon you are married and have so many beautiful babies that they're tumbling out of your cupboards, getting misplaced under the co More  →
Do Guys Want Girls to Make the First Move?