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Posts by jason saenz

The 29 Worst Ways to Get Asked to Prom

By Jason SaenzMarch 24, 2015
The art of the promposal dates back millennia to the time Paris asked Helen, "This party sucks, wanna jet?" and kicked off the Trojan War (BEST PROM THEME EVA). Today, as ever, the romantic stakes are high and the way you ask someone to prom is ... More  →
The 29 Worst Ways to Get Asked to Prom

How to Make Friends Depending on How Old You Are: A Guide

By Jason SaenzMarch 19, 2015
Friends are like mugs we make in pottery class: they may have weird hand-holds, but they're OURS. Learning to make friends is a challenge you'll face throughout life, and your technique is going to change over time. You will probably start out just making friends with ... More  →
How to Make Friends Depending on How Old You Are: A Guide

What Your Online Laugh Says About You

By Jason SaenzMarch 18, 2015
With all the ROFLing that PURPORTEDLY happens on the internet, it's a wonder there aren't more ethernet-related burn injuries. HOW IS IT, we always want to ask, THAT YOU ARE ROFLING, BUT ALSO TYPING? How do we have any butts left after we have laughed them all off? ... More  →
What Your Online Laugh Says About You

How to Use Pi to Celebrate March 14 in the Nerdiest Way Possible

By Jason SaenzMarch 14, 2015
Every year on March 14, mathematicians, scholars and number junkies gather to celebrate the illuminati of numbers: pi. Did the ancient Egyptians use pi to build the pyramids? Does pi hold the secret to time travel? Is pi responsible for Kim Kardasian's blonde makeover? Let's ... More  →
How to Use Pi to Celebrate March 14 in the Nerdiest Way Possible

28 Signs You Are "The Chosen One" Of Test-Taking

By Jason SaenzMarch 6, 2015
Heroes are born on epic journeys requiring extreme self-belief and sacrifice, but heroes are also created through a slow, decades-long regime of dull, one-paragraph-answer, color-in-the-circle-with-a-2B-pencil tests (Mathletes aren't carried on their teammates shoulders often, but it does happen). Among those of us on whom the future ... More  →
28 Signs You Are "The Chosen One" Of Test-Taking

Let's Take a Closer Look at the Notes People Leave on Taylor Swift's Door

By Jason SaenzMarch 3, 2015
Since Taylor Swift moved to New York City, our lives have changed: at any moment, we know we could run into her strutting through the city, just doing good deeds on her legs, tossing her hair, being an ambassador; at any moment, we could spot her emerging from a SoHo shopfro More  →
Let's Take a Closer Look at the Notes People Leave on Taylor Swift's Door

True or False: Can You Really Read Someone's Eyes?!

By Jason SaenzFebruary 16, 2015
People say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the windows are dirty and covered in drapes? It would be hard to see the soul then, right? Thankfully, you always have the front door, which is the window to the heart. ... More  →
True or False: Can You Really Read Someone's Eyes?!

Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for the Broken Pocketed

By Jason SaenzFebruary 14, 2015
Old enough to date but too young to have a job? SUCH IS THE TRAP OF ADOLESCENCE. Society tells us to " BUY BUY BUY THEIR LOVE!" but this Valentine's Day, if you have a date, you can show that special someone you care without spending a single ... More  →
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for the Broken Pocketed

Snappy Comebacks for When People Try to Comfort You on Your Singledom This Valentine's Day

By Jason SaenzFebruary 12, 2015
If you're taking the struggle bus to Single Central this Valentine's Day, you are not alone. Some of us couldn't get dates, some of us almost got dates but then slipped on an icy staircase and are now stuck hauling around a hemorrhoid cushion, and ... More  →
Snappy Comebacks for When People Try to Comfort You on Your Singledom This Valentine's Day

Going Through a Breakup? Use This Press Release to Let Everyone Know You're Single and Ready to Mingle

By Jason SaenzJanuary 20, 2015
Sometimes breakups are so painful that you want to shout from the rooftops when it's all over. To alert a mass audience to your new single status quickly, adapt and send out this simple press release. *** FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: [Name of Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend] and I Have Broken ... More  →
Going Through a Breakup? Use This Press Release to Let Everyone Know You're Single and Ready to Mingle