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Posts by jason saenz

SparkMD: Types of Common Sweats

By Jason SaenzDecember 16, 2014
Your forehead is beading, your pulse is thumping, but why? Is it the noodle sweats? The candy sweats? Diagnose yourself below... Cold Sweats Cold sweats usually come on when a witch or "goblin" enters the room. You may not see it, but oh boy oh boy, you ... More  →
SparkMD: Types of Common Sweats

"Why Are You Crying?" Response Extender Pack

By Jason SaenzDecember 9, 2014
NO ONE BELIEVES YOU WHEN YOU SAY YOU HAVE BEEN CUTTING ONIONS. THEY SEE RIGHT THROUGH THAT RUSE TO YOUR SWOLLEN, PUFFY FACE. Try one of these excuses instead. My parrot just ate my homework. My parrot just ran off with my dog. My parrot keeps drawing pictures of ... More  →

How to Tell If They Like You BY PLAYING BINGO

By Jason SaenzDecember 8, 2014
If the love of your life giving you mixed signals (DO I MICROWAVE YOU WITH OR WITHOUT PUNCTURING THE PLASTIC WRAPPER?) and you need to find out if that specialest someone truly has eyes for you, or just for the color orange, YOU NEED TO ... More  →
How to Tell If They Like You BY PLAYING BINGO

Learn All 100 SAT Words With This Hemsworth Fanfic

By Jason SaenzDecember 4, 2014
The prestigious WASHINGTON POST has listed the top 100 most common SAT words. But reading through them one after the other is NO FUN AT ALL. That's why we've created an SAT vocab guide based on the godlike looks of the three Hemsworth brothers, Luke, ... More  →
Learn All 100 SAT Words With This Hemsworth Fanfic

What Your Froyo Topping Says About You

By Jason SaenzNovember 25, 2014
Why pay for a tarot card reading when you could just waltz into a 16 Handles and grip your hands to the mighty Wheel of Fortune, allowing fate to reveal your true self under the bright fluorescent glow of cacaos and pink plastic cladding? (Tarot ... More  →
What Your Froyo Topping Says About You

Quiz: Which Hipster Mode of Transportation Is Best For You?

By Jason SaenzNovember 13, 2014
The problem with public transportation is it's SO MAINSTREAM. And cars? Uhh, Mumford and Sons would never have been famous if they rocked up to their gigs with their banjos hanging out of the trunk of their Ford Fiestas. But which transportation alternative is MOST alternative? ... More  →
Quiz: Which Hipster Mode of Transportation Is Best For You?

17 Reasons to Love Marcel The Shell

By Jason SaenzNovember 12, 2014
If you have never considered wearing a lentil as a hat, and are not yet familiar with Marcel the Shell (with shoes on), Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp's hilarious/cute video, ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT. Not only is Marcel a internet sensation (see installment two ... More  →
17 Reasons to Love Marcel The Shell

How To Handle Mono With Style

By Jason SaenzNovember 11, 2014
It's that time of year again: the dreaded MONO MONTHS™. That horrible time when the kissing disease sweeps across high-schools all over the country. If you're smooching this autumn, you're at risk of catching glandular fever (as it's known to the poshes), but how can you tell ... More  →
How To Handle Mono With Style

Real or Fake: Rom-Com Premises

By Jason SaenzNovember 10, 2014
Romantic comedies: boy, are they predictable. Guy meets girl, they fall in love... OH NO, IT CAN'T BE! But then it is to be. Producers have been trying to come up with original premises for the rom com for years. Some have been pretty cool (SPLASH! ... More  →
Real or Fake: Rom-Com Premises

Cake-Cutting Urban Legends You MUST BE AWARE OF!

By Jason SaenzNovember 7, 2014
The sword you wield before the cake will seal your fate. Touch the bottom, and you must reveal your boyfriend. Let the groom cut the cake first, and the bride becomes barren. Bake a wedding cake yourself and be cursed to work hard your whole ... More  →
Cake-Cutting Urban Legends You MUST BE AWARE OF!
About the Author
Jason Saenz

Jason Saenz is a writer in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @JasonSaenz!

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.