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Posts by jason saenz

Time Traveler Problems

By Jason SaenzJuly 7, 2015
There are things we wish we could take back. Like that time you snorted while talking to your crush or the twelve hours you spent watch Hot Tub Time Machine 2. But changing the past can have serious implications for the future! One false move and it's "OH NO, MY FAMILY ARE More  →
Time Traveler Problems

A Carsick Person's Thoughts About American Landmarks

By Jason SaenzJune 29, 2015
When John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence, he had no idea that the amber waves of grain between sea and other shining sea would eventually come to hold over 85,000 landmarks, or that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston would end their fairytale relationship in ... More  →
A Carsick Person's Thoughts About American Landmarks

MORE Creepy Text Messages Never to Send

By Jason SaenzJune 26, 2015
It's so easy to get the tone of a text message wrong. A period instead of an exclamation point can turn an expression of excitement into something that sounds more like a threat. "Looking forward to it!" "Looking forward to it." Texting "Hey, what's up" at 7:00 p.m. ... More  →
MORE Creepy Text Messages Never to Send

11 Reasons Why Your Graduation Is Just Like an Awards Show

By Jason SaenzJune 16, 2015
When you're sitting in a hot gym wearing a very shiny gown and a (hopefully hilariously decorated!) cardboard cap, chances are you'll be thinking to yourself, "Never have I felt more glamorous. I bet the Gifting Suite in this place is going to be OUT ... More  →
11 Reasons Why Your Graduation Is Just Like an Awards Show

7 Times Being an Uruk Hai Was More Orcward Than Being in High School

By Jason SaenzMay 11, 2015
Sometimes it seems like life is just one long, echoing headslap. But if you think YOU are awkward, you should try being seven feet tall with a catcher's mitt for a face, like the Uruk Hai. THEY KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE TRULY ORCWARD.Image source: YouTube / New Line Cinema More  →
7 Times Being an Uruk Hai Was More Orcward Than Being in High School

All-Time Greatest Baseball Break-Up Lines

By Jason SaenzApril 23, 2015
Life can't be all peanuts and cracker jacks. Sometimes in a relationship, as in baseball, you gotta read the signals and make the call. YouTube/Columbia Pictures Here are some lines that will dispassionately release you from a bad innings—and remember, there's no crying in baseball. "You're like a pop ... More  →
All-Time Greatest Baseball Break-Up Lines

Read These Honest Chain Letters Or Or Or (Not)

By Jason SaenzApril 21, 2015
We've all gotten them. "You'll win a million dollars!" "I'm a sick kid in Asia who needs a new car!" "Angels are watching you!" If only forwarding a chain letter could bring us fame and fortune we'd never have to leave our desks again. Fortunately, ... More  →
Read These Honest Chain Letters Or Or Or (Not)

Serenity Prayers For Every Occasion

By Jason SaenzApril 17, 2015
Your orthodontic checkup. Early morning swimming practice. Kim Kardasian's new hair color... Some things we just have to accept. If you need help finding your center during life's trials, you can always recite the Serenity Prayer: "Oh God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot ... More  →
Serenity Prayers For Every Occasion

Quiz: How Cool Are Your Parents?

By Jason SaenzApril 9, 2015
Ella Montgomery on Pretty Little Liars. Lily Humphrey on Gossip Girl. Burt Hummel on Glee. Now these are some cool parents! While we may all wish our folks were as chill as these TV icons, it can be a little different when you want help ... More  →
Quiz: How Cool Are Your Parents?

Break-Up Texts by Famous Literary Characters

By Jason SaenzApril 6, 2015
Many a novel has been spun out over a will-they-or-won't-they plotline that could easily have been circumvented with a Verizon family plan.Say there *had* been cellphones around for these characters to use, we predict some dire early-stage breakups... More  →
Break-Up Texts by Famous Literary Characters
About the Author
Jason Saenz

Jason Saenz is a writer in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @JasonSaenz!

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.