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Posts by chelsea dagger

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Cute Thing of the Week

By Chelsea DaggerApril 27, 2010
Next to chubby puppies, cats with speech impediments, and animated squarepant-wearing sponges, there ain’t much that's cuter than a big-headed baby. If you’re this adorable, what is there to talk about? You tell us, Sparklers. But good luck making us laugh harder this time around than ... More  →
Cute Thing of the Week

Rejected Prom Themes

By Chelsea DaggerMarch 16, 2010
We hacked into the mainframe of the highly confidential National Prom Theme Database and found these gems. It’s a crying shame they haven’t been put to use. Here’s hoping #13 makes an appearance at the high school dance of your dreams. ... More  →
Rejected Prom Themes

Re-Casting the Classics

By Chelsea DaggerMarch 9, 2010
Have you ever wondered what your favorite old movies would be like if they were re-cast with today’s stars? Of course you haven’t. But maybe you should spend less time on that AP Language essay and more time pondering this question. Here’s your opportunity to ... More  →
Re-Casting the Classics

Things You Might Find When You're Feeling Around Under Your Car Seats for an Ice Scraper

By Chelsea DaggerMarch 3, 2010
You might see the title of this post and think to yourselves, “WHY IS THIS EVEN A POST. WHY.” To which we might respond, “WE HAVE NO IDEA. NO IDEA.” Sometimes there ain’t no reason to our rhyme, Sparklers. So just put that desk chair ... More  →
Things You Might Find When You're Feeling Around Under Your Car Seats for an Ice Scraper

Real, Actual, Legit Ways Not to Impress Girls (We're Still Not Kidding Around)

By Chelsea DaggerFebruary 16, 2010
This one is for you, gents! Here's how NOT to impress the ladies. 1. Bare-knuckle brawls. Don’t operate under the impression that violent displays of testosterone are the best way to a girl’s heart. Instead of punching a stranger in the throat, show off in ... More  →
Real, Actual, Legit Ways Not to Impress Girls (We're Still Not Kidding Around)

Real Actual Legit Ways Not to Impress Boys (This Time We Ain't Kiddin' Around)

By Chelsea DaggerFebruary 9, 2010
Since our last post on this subject left a little something to be desired in the practicality department, we’ve decided to write a slightly more helpful follow-up. Below are things you should never ever do if you want to impress a special someone. (And don’t ... More  →
Real Actual Legit Ways Not to Impress Boys (This Time We Ain't Kiddin' Around)

Times I've Wanted to Kick My Sibling's Butt

By Chelsea DaggerFebruary 5, 2010
We love ‘em, we hate ‘em, we want to hit them repeatedly in their oversize heads with pillows made of sheet rock. Who are they? Who else: our ever-lovin’, unbearably intolerable siblings. Below are some REAL LIFE stories from the REAL LIFE relationship between ... More  →
Times I've Wanted to Kick My Sibling's Butt

The Best Ways to Insult SparkLife Writers

By Chelsea DaggerFebruary 4, 2010
Today’s post was inspired by a Sparkler who wrote the following comment under a recently published article: “Wait, really? This was front-paged for...what reason? Protip: next time you wanna post a little joke joke Chelsea [Dagger], alt+f4 gives max funniness instantly. Try it a few ... More  →
The Best Ways to Insult SparkLife Writers

7 Ways Not to Impress Boys

By Chelsea DaggerFebruary 2, 2010
Last week, we ran a post about how not to impress girls. Just to be fair, we had to write an equally-ridiculous article for the gals of SparkNotes. 1. On a dinner date, order an arugula salad, minus the arugula. When your waiter politely states that ... More  →
7 Ways Not to Impress Boys

7 Ways Not to Impress Girls

By Chelsea DaggerJanuary 28, 2010
1. Do 29 cartwheels in a row. Follow this stupendous display of acrobatic skill by barfing. ... More  →
7 Ways Not to Impress Girls
About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.