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Posts by brandon specktor

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Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Body?

By Brandon SpecktorOctober 24, 2013
You and your body. The two of you are like an old married couple. You spend all day err'day together, but it's been years since you stopped to ask how your marrow slept, or did something nice for your urinary tract. At times, it feels like ... More  →
Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Body?

How to Deal With an Unwanted Sext

By Brandon SpecktorOctober 8, 2013
If you sometimes think about naked people, you are not alone. Human beings are obsessed with thinking/talking/freeform slamming about each other’s sex parts, and have been ever since the first homo erectus first made a dirty joke about its own name. Need more proof? Read one ... More  →
How to Deal With an Unwanted Sext

What Your Birth Order Says About Your Future

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 18, 2013
If you are reading this, you were probably born. You have our sympathy. Being born is not fair. You get no say in it, and yet it will determine everything about the quality of your life until the day you die/are reverse-born. Ever wonder what your ... More  →
What Your Birth Order Says About Your Future

How To Tell a Boy You Don't Want To Be His Homecoming Date: A No-Tears Guide

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 6, 2013
A boy just mustered the tremendous courage to ask you out as his homecoming date. You think he's a tremendous creep. What's a girl to do??? Without a gun or giant pair of pliers, there's no easy way to break a boy's heart. Most of us ... More  →
How To Tell a Boy You Don't Want To Be His Homecoming Date: A No-Tears Guide

Quiz: Are You Ready to Go Back to Gym Class?

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 3, 2013
Back to school means back to gym. Like global warming or grandpa's weird smell, this is an inconvenient truth. And chances are, if you're anything like us, you've spent most of your summer absorbing all the courage (hot dogs) you could muster (mustard) to prepare ... More  →
Quiz: Are You Ready to Go Back to Gym Class?

Quiz: Which Beatle Is Your Valentine Beatle?

By Brandon SpecktorFebruary 7, 2013
Do you fancy the quiet type or the charismatic type? Are you all about the size of a man's royalty checks, or his nostrils? Four Beatles. One you. Answer these 6 questions as honestly as possible to find out which of the Fab Four you'll be ... More  →
Quiz: Which Beatle Is Your Valentine Beatle?

7 Moments That Made The Super Bowl Worth Watching This Year

By Brandon SpecktorFebruary 4, 2013
Yesterday, one of the most important battles in American history was waged in New Orleans. The San Francisco 49ers (named for a bunch of bigoted, illiterate gold obsessives who nearly exterminated the Native populations of the American West) and the Baltimore Ravens (named for a ... More  →
7 Moments That Made The Super Bowl Worth Watching This Year

15 Albums You Should Listen to This Spring (Explained in 15 Limericks)

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 29, 2013
Heartthrob Out: January 29 Not a moment too soon for your prom, Twin Quins who duet with aplomb! Now these folk rocking ladies Are going all '80s With synth pop to perk up your mom. Watch: The karaoke-tastic video for new single "Closer." More  →
15 Albums You Should Listen to This Spring (Explained in 15 Limericks)

The Puppy Bowl Puppies Are Doing a Live Webcast, so Cancel Your Plans for the Next Six Days

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 28, 2013
Sometimes they scamper about at play. Sometimes they nap and do those little puppy kicks that puppies do when they dream about spiders. Sometimes they take a big dump on the floor, 'cause, d'awwww, they think they're people! But nay, they are no mere men: they ... More  →
The Puppy Bowl Puppies Are Doing a Live Webcast, so Cancel Your Plans for the Next Six Days

Legalize Ferrets, Import More Chocolate, and 8 More Ridiculous Things You Can Demand From The Obama Administration In The Next 5 Minutes

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 24, 2013
Did you know the Obama Administration "does not support blowing up planets"? Where do you think he stands on Sasquatch protection? How about outlawing Daylight Savings Time, or making librarians mandatory? Thanks to the kind staffers at We The People, Whitehouse.gov's offic More  →
Legalize Ferrets, Import More Chocolate, and 8 More Ridiculous Things You Can Demand From The Obama Administration In The Next 5 Minutes
About the Author
Brandon Specktor

For 22 years, Brandon was a fat kid living in Tucson, AZ, which gave him lots and lots of time to write. He now works at a magazine in New York City, but still loves writing almost as much as he loves muffins.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.