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Posts by brandon specktor

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Does Your Computer Have a Virus?

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 8, 2014
Attention Sparklers: The computer you are using right now might be at SERIOUS RISK. If you are reading this post this via smart phone, tablet, or impressive shadow-puppet theatre, those devices too may be in IMMINENT DANGER. Why? Because. Because viruses. ... More  →
Does Your Computer Have a Virus?

J-Law and Croissants: The Best of Brandon's 2013

By Brandon SpecktorDecember 16, 2013
It may be all this Internet I've been drinking, but 2013 already seems like kind of a Kelvin-filtered blur, doesn't it? I can barely remember why I started a flame war with Drake eleven minutes ago, let alone why he sent me this restraining order eleven ... More  →
J-Law and Croissants: The Best of Brandon's 2013

December Is The Best Month! Here's Why

By Brandon SpecktorDecember 9, 2013
To put it in one word: Presents. To put it in two words: Presents—dingleberry!

 Consider this month a deserved reward for enduring the overrated miracle of human existence one more year. That's why December is stocking-stuffed with holidays! Did you know, if you celebrate the three weeks ... More  →
December Is The Best Month! Here's Why

How to Pick a Thanksgiving Twitter Handle

By Brandon SpecktorNovember 18, 2013
It may seem like a silly Twitter fad, but Thanksgiving names have been part of American culture since 1794, when president George Washington famously adopted the name Gourdge Squashington for two incredible weeks. That’s when America used to be somebody. Today it’s on More  →
How to Pick a Thanksgiving Twitter Handle

November Is the Best Month! Here's Why

By Brandon SpecktorNovember 4, 2013
November is the best. It's full of colorful leaves, colorful pies, and colorful insults being hurled at these schmendrick out-of-town drivers. November is a popular month to be born in because it means you can get started with overeating right away. It's also the last month ... More  →
November Is the Best Month! Here's Why

Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Body?

By Brandon SpecktorOctober 24, 2013
You and your body. The two of you are like an old married couple. You spend all day err'day together, but it's been years since you stopped to ask how your marrow slept, or did something nice for your urinary tract. At times, it feels like ... More  →
Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Body?

How to Deal With an Unwanted Sext

By Brandon SpecktorOctober 8, 2013
If you sometimes think about naked people, you are not alone. Human beings are obsessed with thinking/talking/freeform slamming about each other’s sex parts, and have been ever since the first homo erectus first made a dirty joke about its own name. Need more proof? Read one ... More  →
How to Deal With an Unwanted Sext

What Your Birth Order Says About Your Future

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 18, 2013
If you are reading this, you were probably born. You have our sympathy. Being born is not fair. You get no say in it, and yet it will determine everything about the quality of your life until the day you die/are reverse-born. Ever wonder what your ... More  →
What Your Birth Order Says About Your Future

How To Tell a Boy You Don't Want To Be His Homecoming Date: A No-Tears Guide

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 6, 2013
A boy just mustered the tremendous courage to ask you out as his homecoming date. You think he's a tremendous creep. What's a girl to do??? Without a gun or giant pair of pliers, there's no easy way to break a boy's heart. Most of us ... More  →
How To Tell a Boy You Don't Want To Be His Homecoming Date: A No-Tears Guide

Quiz: Are You Ready to Go Back to Gym Class?

By Brandon SpecktorSeptember 3, 2013
Back to school means back to gym. Like global warming or grandpa's weird smell, this is an inconvenient truth. And chances are, if you're anything like us, you've spent most of your summer absorbing all the courage (hot dogs) you could muster (mustard) to prepare ... More  →
Quiz: Are You Ready to Go Back to Gym Class?
About the Author
Brandon Specktor

For 22 years, Brandon was a fat kid living in Tucson, AZ, which gave him lots and lots of time to write. He now works at a magazine in New York City, but still loves writing almost as much as he loves muffins.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.