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Posts by brandon specktor

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12 Canadian Things That Totally Make Up for Rob Ford and Justin Bieber

By Brandon SpecktorMarch 13, 2014
If you’re wondering why Justin Bieber and Rob Ford have been in the news so much this year, it’s because America is facing a record clown shortage, and we’ve resorted to foreign imports. Every week with these guys! Drunken stupors. Criminal charges. Poutine breath. Will the ... More  →
12 Canadian Things That Totally Make Up for Rob Ford and Justin Bieber

How to Get Over a College Rejection

By Brandon SpecktorMarch 10, 2014
Being rejected by a university feels a lot like being dumped, except your ex is the size of a small village, smells like Panda Express, and asked you to pick up a $30,000 tab on the first date. He’s a rude dude. But the hurt ... More  →
How to Get Over a College Rejection

Artistic Advice from The Cutest/Most Disturbing Webcomic Ever

By Brandon SpecktorFebruary 26, 2014
If you’ve never seen a sloth hugging a manatee, you, friend, have not read Cuddles and Rage. C&R is a webcomic for people who want to see the “twee” put back in, “Say! There seems to be a hatchet buried between that adorable peanut’s eyes!” Husband-and-wife duo More  →
Artistic Advice from the Cutest/Most Disturbing Webcomic Ever

Why Does V Day Have to Be All Pink? An Argument for Yellow.

By Brandon SpecktorFebruary 14, 2014
Gather 'round for story time, Sparklers. In second grade, my favorite Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger was Kimberly, the pink ranger. I liked her because she was the only one who seemed to have a personality when everyone’s faces were obscured by identical masks, plus she used ... More  →
Why Does V Day Have to Be All Pink? An Argument for Yellow.

How to Write the Great American Novel

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 27, 2014
The most important rule in writing is, “write something that you’d want to read.” The second most important rule of writing is, “throw your phone into an erupting volcano and WRITE.” Every great writer from James Joyce to E.L. James followed these simple storytelling commandments before they ... More  →
How to Write the Great American Novel

11 Awful Harry Potter Knock-Knock Jokes

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 14, 2014
Hogwarts has no shortage of ornate, cabbage-sized door knockers, but you hardly ever see anyone using them. Perhaps the simple gesture of knocking went out of fashion when kooky ghost portraits replaced the castle's security system, or when the lock-breaking charm became core curriculum (and they wonder ... More  →
11 Awful Harry Potter Knock-Knock Jokes

Does Your Computer Have a Virus?

By Brandon SpecktorJanuary 8, 2014
Attention Sparklers: The computer you are using right now might be at SERIOUS RISK. If you are reading this post this via smart phone, tablet, or impressive shadow-puppet theatre, those devices too may be in IMMINENT DANGER. Why? Because. Because viruses. ... More  →
Does Your Computer Have a Virus?

J-Law and Croissants: The Best of Brandon's 2013

By Brandon SpecktorDecember 16, 2013
It may be all this Internet I've been drinking, but 2013 already seems like kind of a Kelvin-filtered blur, doesn't it? I can barely remember why I started a flame war with Drake eleven minutes ago, let alone why he sent me this restraining order eleven ... More  →
J-Law and Croissants: The Best of Brandon's 2013

December Is The Best Month! Here's Why

By Brandon SpecktorDecember 9, 2013
To put it in one word: Presents. To put it in two words: Presents—dingleberry!

 Consider this month a deserved reward for enduring the overrated miracle of human existence one more year. That's why December is stocking-stuffed with holidays! Did you know, if you celebrate the three weeks ... More  →
December Is The Best Month! Here's Why
About the Author
Brandon Specktor

For 22 years, Brandon was a fat kid living in Tucson, AZ, which gave him lots and lots of time to write. He now works at a magazine in New York City, but still loves writing almost as much as he loves muffins.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.